GF's past relationship question

[cheezy123]

This is my first post here, good thing I found this informative forum. Anyway, I have a gf and we've been together for about 4 months. Things are going well and we're having a blast spending our time together. However, her past relationships bother me. I guess the number of guys she has slept with is the problem on my part. She is 31 now and has been with 15 other guys. We are almost the same age however the difference in our experience is night and day. I've been in 5 relationships 2 of those lasted more than 4 years. Is 15 guys really a high number, above average, average or an ok number for her age? When I compare her to some of my friends and workmates its pretty high to me. How can I get that image of her sleeping with 15 guys out of my head? Sometimes its driving me crazy.

[Jd1983]

You need to learn that it's her past, and there's nothing that you can do to change that.

 

At one point, I was bothered by the amount of partners that my bf had. Although it's a lot more than I anticipated, I also realized that there is nothing that I could do, but to accept it.

 

If you spend too much time dwelling on what she's done in the past, you cannot focus on the future. She is with you now, and if you're happy then just enjoy the moment.

[hexaemeron]

Just set her free and let her find a guy who won't think of her as a strumpet for being with 15 guys over more than 20 years of dating.

[HouseKitten]

You say relationships but have you discussed with her how many of these men were boyfriends and how many were just one-night things? Perhaps she had a wild period during her twenties and slept with a few guys.

 

You can't change the past and neither can she. You can dislike it all you want but the fact is, her past experiences have made her into the woman that you're attracted to. Maybe 15 is higher than you're used to, but who cares? So long as she's faithful, has been tested, and you have a good relationship, does it really matter?

[lana111]

it is her past and it doesnt matter if it was 1 or 100.

 

but, to answer your question, 15 does not seem crazy to me.

[hockeyboy]

Not really sure why you asked her how many guys to begin with, especially if you can't handle what she tells you. This is such a common thing, and I really don't understand why people do it.

 

Accept her or leave her.

[ToF]

15 is really not bad at all, especially when you consider her age.

 

I can understand your concern, but you should really try to put this out of your mind. Do not judge her for what she's done in the past, especially since she hasn't done anything wrong (in this case). And yes, you are judging her.

[happygal]

It is her past, and the fact that she is honest with you sharing it, should mean something to you.

Many times people tell you a number or stories based on what sounds acceptable, but is it really the truth?

 

I told my bf that I had a one night stand once in my life, way back, and he still at times holds it against me. I don't think it is fair, first of all it's been like 15 years ago in college and most important I opened up and have no secrets from my past or present, which he should appreciate.

 

Look at the positive, and enjoy your time together

 

Good Luck!

[FrenchFries]

It's pretty simple - just stop thinking about it. If you can't get over it you're better off finding someone who you think has less sexual experience. Don't ask questions you know you can't handle hearing.

[vandalayceo]

A personal issue, but since you asked-way too many. Dump her, by some definitions a * * * * .