So what does everyone here do to not think of their ex?

[Starbourne]

As the title says, what do you do to keep yourself occupied and not thinking about your ex? Occasionally we run into tough patches during no contact and the urge to contact them can run high.

 

Let's share some suggestions to keep our minds off of them.

[HouseKitten]

Just tried to keep as busy as possible. When I could listen to music again, I tried to make playlists of stuff that very much did not remind me of the ex. I also read a lot, which helps to fill the odd quiet moment.

 

When that didn't work, I just chanted in my head 'forget forget forget!'

[guynextdoor]

Workout. The gym is my bf.

[Starbourne]

I'm an athlete, so i train daily. For some reason, the girl still pops into my head during a session. It get's really annoying.

[mustard1234]

Yo, Star

 

Not that I'm any type of example

 

But I read something very helpful. The best way to diffuse your feelings about the ex is not to fight them.

 

Simply accept, yes...she's on my mind today. Right now, for the 800th time. Acknowledge the feeling. Are you sad? Horny? Nostalgic? In need of a hug and wish it was her who could give it?

 

Identify and honor whatever it is you feel. The emotions about our exes often come more loaded/poisonous than they need to be because we give them SO much power due to the "forbidden fruit" syndrome. These feelings aren't bad. You're allowed to reminisce, miss her and even feel * * * * ty that she's not there.

 

On that same token, keep it real. Don't indulge in fantasies of what could've been or beat yourself up over anything. Acknowledge just as openly the crap that ended it. There's a reason you aren't together. Reflect on that as well.

 

The fun part, at least for me, is mentally working on what you've learned from the situation and the next step in your life. How awesome it will be when X happens or when Y starts...and all the awesome potential you have to find someone else.

 

It's all part of the process, methinks. Shutting it out completely only gives it more power. Think of these feelings as Freddy Kreuger. Running away only makes it worse! Best tactic is to be like "Bsssh, I ain't scared" and see the strings and latex holding it together as you start to laugh.

 

I mean...you get me

 

Keep ya head up, partner.

[Starbourne]

Yo mustard!

 

 

That's some great advice. I gotta remember that.

 

How are you holding up?

[whattodo...]

WOW i smiled all over from reading that, mustard. thanks a bunch. i will keep your advice handy.

[warmpandacola]

Well, right now it's tough to get him out of my head but I constantly do things to try to get him out of there. I sometimes work out at the YMCA which puts me in a good mood. Lately I've been going tanning. Hang out with good friends as much as possible! Hang with my family. Read a book every now and then. Sometimes music and my fav thing is movies but it's hard when you like a lot of songs about love and if your fav genre of movies are romantic comedies. lol but they are still fun to watch. Come up with a creative project. Write a list of goals. Sometimes I'll even break down and write a break up poem just to get stuff out somewhere instead of texting him. Etc

[warmpandacola]

Yes, I agree with mustard that blocking them completely is not the way to go because that's just repressing the emotions. But if it gets to the point where you get sucked in to "thinking about ex land" then I think it's always good to have something to keep the mind occupied to you can stay motivated to move forward and live in the now. It's hard to do sometimes.

[hater13]

I agree!! Keeping it all in is just going to backfire on you eventually!!

It'll all come back to you one day..and you don't want that to happen do you?

 

Personally I just let it out, if I'm thinking of my ex or angry at him I just vent to my friends. Eventually you just stop caring about it as much.

[OccultFigurine]

I have exams coming up, so I throw myself into studying....two-fold benefit, I hopefully do well in my exams,and after about half an hour of work I forget about my ex....

 

However, sometimes you need to jsut accept that there are times you are going to be sad..when we first broke up I realised that I was MUCH worse in the mornings...I would go into town, to shop or whatever, and have to get a train home because I would cry for no reason.

 

So at that time, I would go home and let myself cry and be upset for an hour or two, then put it aside and get on with what I needed to do (luckily as a student I have this option, it's another matter when my kids get home from school and I can't cry in front of them, in that situation I just keep as busy as possible)

 

xxxx

[Starbourne]

Excellent comments so far!

 

I personally find popping my head phones in and turning on my mp3 player to be helpful. Sometimes I'll walk around for the majority of the day with them in. It makes you somewhat ignorant as to what is going on around you, but it can help to ease some of the tension now and then.

[incaangelique]

I'm trying new things. I've always been into yoga, but just for fun and a change of pace I thought I'd try a totally different type of class in addition to my yoga classes. I signed up for my my first martial arts class ever today. It starts on Saturday.

[Starbourne]

Yoga has been something I've been considering doing as well. I want to get out and meet people, and perhaps that might be a good way to do so.

[stu1973]

I find audio books, fictional, self-help, and hypnotherapy to help enormously.

 

I am having too much trouble concentrating for periods of time to read books, but lying back, closing my eyes, and having someone tell me stories is very relaxing!

 

Also, I find being on here very helpful, as I help people where I can, which helps me, and it helps to know you are not alone, even though in the real world, it feels you are.

 

Oh, and hard physical exercise, being with my dog, and ( when I can get it ) sleep ( the only time I'm happy at the moment ).

[mustard1234]

@ star/whattodo

 

Thanks much. I'm just the messenger.

 

link removed, though geared towards angry ladies, is all that's been keeping me sane. I'm 99% sure that this is where I read the 'honor your thoughts' nugget.

 

But...I've been drowning in self help as of late, haha. Pretty sure this was it, though.

 

In any case TOTALLY a worthwhile site for ladies and gents to help start that heavy-lifting *inside* work that needs to happen before we can move on anywhere else.

 

We're all in this crapstew together, guys. Sigh.

[Starbourne]

We're all in this crapstew together, guys. Sigh.

 

 

Now there's an euphemism...

[lolgirl]

When I'm not on a date with Jack Daniels or Captain Morgan?? jk (ok, not really jk...)

 

I travel. I go anywhere and everywhere my car will take me. A year ago when I had a horrible relationship with a cheating scumbag, I did a solo cross country road trip (west coast to east coast, and back) for 2.5 weeks. Drove through 25 states, and saw the most beautiful things. It really made me realize how beautiful the world really is.

 

And a special shout out to the people in the midwest and the south...you were the nicest people I met on my road trip!

[whattodo12]

When I'm not on a date with Jack Daniels or Captain Morgan?? jk (ok, not really jk...)

 

I travel. I go anywhere and everywhere my car will take me. A year ago when I had a horrible relationship with a cheating scumbag, I did a solo cross country road trip (west coast to east coast, and back) for 2.5 weeks. Drove through 25 states, and saw the most beautiful things. It really made me realize how beautiful the world really is.

 

And a special shout out to the people in the midwest and the south...you were the nicest people I met on my road trip!

 

Glad southern hospitality treated you well... I'm from the south.

 

But yea, OP, I find working out helps with my self esteem. Venting to friends also helps with the anger and getting over it. And then there is going out with friends which makes me forget it and let my mind get away from the thoughts.

 

I also try and remember the bad times, and how horrible they were. Makes you appreciate being single and not having to deal with it

[hater13]

-exercise

-spend time with your family/friends (I feel I negleted them during my relationship)

-watch movies

-go out and JUST HAVE FUN

-play sports

-WORK

-better yourself!!

 

 

eventually you will have to think about your ex though, your can only keep it in for so long. You'll have good and bad days, but don't let this get you down.

[petite]

You concentrate on yourself and work on bettering your life. Have set goals in mind and put them into action. Start exercising, if you already don't, reconnect with friends, go on trips, meet new people, read books, join some sort of sporting event, basically anything to improve yourself. while improving your life, you will realize that it was probably for the best that it ended.