Relationship is feeling more like a friendship these days

[EmilyE]

My bf and I have been together for over 2 years, been living together for over a year. We didnt necesarily want to move in together so early, but we moved to a new city and financially it was the best option.

 

Anyway, we probably have not had sex in a month. We both are VERY busy with work for the past 2 months or so, and the only time we see eachother is when we come home and are tired or in the morning, he usually leaves before I am up, so he only sees me in my PJ's most of the time.

 

I feel like we are just friends these days. we mostly get a long, and we have good conversations, but there is no spark, at all. I dont really have the desire, and he even told me that he doesnt either. I told him i dont feel sexy if he never sees me dressed up and he never tells me i look good anymore.

 

I am just afraid that the relationship is going down the drain. I feel like living together was a bad mistake, because we became an old married like couple QUICK (we are both 27). Also, I know he is having a lot of people asking him about when he is going to propose, and that is just making him more and more afraid of committment.

 

Sorry, I feel like this is more like a rant, but I am very upset because I love him but am afraid that we are both losing interest in eachother. He has suggested that maybe he get his own place (especially because he works an hour away), but i feel like, if we cant live together, whats the point of even moving towards marriage? just confused.

 

Thanks for any feedback or suggestions!

[misssmithviii]

It's always awkward to take a step backward, like moving in together for over a year and then living separately again while still together... I don't see that going over very well, but if you two both feel this way, then by all means.

 

Perhaps you two have forgotten to make more efforts towards your relationship and that's why it's beginning to feel so... dry. Try going out together, make those efforts you both used to. Maybe when he comes home, let him open the door to you in lingerie ;]

[JusticeLaw9]

This is the reality of sharing your living space with someone. You start to really see what you're getting yourself into. Not everybody is prepared to meet that challenge, but you take a risk and try to make things work. Financially it may have been the best move possible for the two of you. However, perhaps you two just weren't ready for the move from a relationship standpoint. Moving out is always an option, but I see that as more of a negative now than anything as moving out seems like it would signal a down spiral. Eventually, if you two stay together, you'll want to move back in to be close to one another and once again you will experience the same thing. So it may not be worth the trouble of finding another place to live.

[geekgirl4]

As tough as work may be on your life for the past months and probably future months, relationships take effort. I think you two are feeling the effects of being busy and not taking time out for each other. Try taking the initiative! Even if you're tired, try to do small things to let your partner know that you love him. And vice versa. Talk to him about this. Let him know that you think things are a bit stale and if the two of you could both put more effort into taking time for each other (date night!)