how do i get passed the angry phase?

[jazzbarrett]

so i am passed the shocked phase, the "i don't believe this is happening" followed by the "i can't believe this is happening." i have also passed the "maybe we will get back together" phase. now, i am at the "i wish i could erase ever being with you" phase. i do not think it is hatred. i think it is because i learned absolutely nothing new about being with him, it only confirmed more of what i want and don't want in life and from someone. i did not change from knowing him. i did not gain anything new or learn anything more about myself. i feel like i just wasted the time i was with him, being in limbo between growing up and staying a twentysomething kid.

 

i have new friends, i have made my life my own, i have moved on completely. yet there are moments in my day when a memory will be triggered and i find myself infuriated. how do i get over this phase?

[d_lilah]

There is no quick fix to this stage, it has to run its course just like any other.

 

The only thing you can do is grit your teeth and get by, try and pretend like nothings happening. If you feel something coming to the surface, meet with your friends, try and stay distracted, and if need be, vent.

 

For me this was the worst stage, and the longest. I said and done things during this stage that, looking back on, weren't smart. I don't regret it, because it was the actions of my ex that made this stage so hard to deal with...at the end he did not treat me with any kind of respect (if I had been, I doubt I would have gone through any of this at all).

 

Now i'm over it, though, I feel completely different...like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It's a long process, but it does end.

[restingpieces]

I think the anger phase is the hardest to generalize how long it will take to get over. With some, it will be just random waves of severe rage, and with others, it will be this prolonged I-Wish-Eternal-Sunshine-Was-Real experience...

 

I think what helps is writing it all down.