Jake/Was It Worth It?

[HaleyC.]

This year, freshman, is was common for one of my guy friends to hang out with his friend that he has known sense elementary school. He still dose kinda. I liked him. He was friendly and nice to me and I thought he was adorable. I still do. Eventually, I dated him. He asked me out. It was awesome until about 2 months into the relationship. I found out my new boyfriend, Jake, had suffered threw a lot of abuse too. But mostly physical. His dad beats him up. It has been going on sense Jake was a toddler.

I mostly only saw him at school. He was exchange student from 1 town away. At school I only saw him at lunch and breakfast.

He liked to hold me. That's why I noticed he was different than other guys at my school. He actually LOVED hugs and public displays of affection. Most guys at our school are bitter and don't like to be touched at all. You try to get closer than 3 feet and they just about tackle you!

I went to go to about 5-6 movies when we were together. A few were really good. I had fun. But I noticed other things awkward in our relationship.

Jakes dad was always the one who picked me up and drove me and Jake to the movies. I didn't really like him from the beginning, but I was still nice to him. He was nice to me.

I figured out why.

Jake's dad was a sex offender. He supposingly raped a girl my age when he was in his 20's.

My mom later found out around the time we broke up.

Jake was usually so nice to me, but he started to change.

Sometimes I thought he was planning to rape me. A few nights before we broke up, he came over to my house and we watched a few movies. While he was laying beside me, there were times when he was trying to hold me down to put his hand up my shirt. It didn't matter how hard I struggled, he still managed to get his hand up my shirt. He did this about 5 times that night.

He had been pressuring me for sex and kissing for weeks before that.

My mom came in after he had put his hand up my shirt for the past 5 times. He was leaning on the side of the bed to look at me when she came in. I was laying on my back staring at the ceiling.

My mother asked me if I was alright because she knew there was something wrong.

I replied, "Ya, I'm just tired."

She didn't believe me. I told her the next day.

I broke up with him a few days later.

I believe Jake was turning out to be like his dad.

He started getting ugly when we were at school.

My friends hated him. I knew it. Every single one did.

I gentle elbowed him while he was sitting next to me at lunch to get his attention.

He didn't respond well.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! DONT ELBOW ME!" he yelled in my face.

My friend Brianna, sitting to my right flipped!

"HEY! DON'T TALK TO HER THAT WAY. SHES NOT A DOG! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO BE SUCH A ASS! ASK NICELY FOR ONCE!"

Jake told her to "F*ck off."

Brianna stalked off. Steaming.

I apologized to her and all my friends when we broke up later on.

They were so happy I broke up him because they hated him so much and for the way he treated me. He was mean to my friends always.

What hurt even more was when we broke up.

He dated someone I knew that was the sleaze of the school. I wonder if he did to make me guilty.

Makes me feel horrible that I was considered lower than a sleaze. Just because I didn't want sex and kissing. I still don't.

I didn't go to the freshman dance mostly for that reason. And I'm glad I didn't go.

Him and her were seperated many times at the dance for making out on the dance floor and grinding on each other. My teachers new I used to date him and were happy when I came back to school that I didn't go to the dance.

What a bunch of sleazes! That was all I thought.

I think I did the wrong thing sometimes. He had other things about him that I had dreamed that my future soul mate had. That I wanted. But that big problem ruined it.

I havin't seen him at school for a least a week and a half.

When he was dating her, they used to purposly show off in front of me. Hug, hold hands, sometimes kiss, and he would say the same things he used to say to me when we were together. I wanted to cry whenever lunch came.

For the longest time when he was dating her, he never looked at me or said "Hi." But a week into them 2 getting together he leaned over the table and gave me the look he had always given me. The "I love you" look. I had to leave the room.

I wonder if he still wants to be with me. Probably not. I think he hates me for not letting him get his way.

[Kuwabara]

Hi, firstly I'm not sure if you were looking for a reply because there was no question, but in future a lot more people will read your story if it's seperated into nice bitesize chunks rather than a big wall of text! It's hardly important but you'll just get more people reading it that's all.

 

This Jake guy sounds like a chump and a bit of a nutcase. He's a perfect example of someone who has spent his life controlled and abused, and therefore feels the need to do so upon others. It can come from either him not knowing how to treat anyone differently through his tragic life experiences with abuse - OR, that he's gotten a bit tweaked as a result and feels the need to take his aggression out on someone he finds who is weaker than he is. Good job on breaking it off, because it could have become much, much more serious - and possibly scarred you if you let it run it's course.

 

Anyway. I don't see why you consider yourself "lower than a sleaze", because sleazy people belong WITH sleazy people. The guy you dated sounded pretty tweaked in the head, so if he finds some other tweaked individual - then I'm sure they'll be very happy (or more like UNhappy) together in their own freakish ways.

 

Also if you happen to find out someone is a registered sex offender, that already shines up flashing warning lights in my mind - especially if he is the one constantly driving you both around. What you got in his car alone one day and something terrible happened? But I respect the fact you were willing to look past the dad because you liked this Jake guy.

 

I'm going to avoid blabbing for too much longer - but you get the idea. You did the RIGHT thing by getting the heck outta there while you could. You saved yourself and that's what is important. Do not waste 1 second thinking of what you COULD have had with this nobody, because you could spend years thinking of things you could have, when you could be actually going out and getting them! Ensure you distance yourself from him. Do not bat and eyelid if he tries to show off his new girlfriend. Just ignore everything he does, and he'll soon get the message, because if you don't - he'll just keep doing stuff that gets your attention as he would know he'd get it!

 

If things get more serious and he starts really trying to get involved with your life again, tell your school about it. Tell your mum or whoever you can trust. Even tell the police if you feel the need. But whatever happens don't end up getting swept up in your ex-boyfriend's life again. He's a pretty bad egg.

[HaleyC.]

ya, i know what you mean. i just couldn't stop writing. i dont know why exactly

[HaleyC.]

jake was not a sex offender though, lol, it was his father