What made them do that, i wonder?

[Ifeelinvisable]

Hi I am 13 years old and have been sexually abused several times. Once by my step father, though he denies it, a few times by my dads best friend at the time, once by an uncle, twice by some random guy I met. I avoided any knowledge that this had ever happened to me, until two years ago. I was at a Gang Advice and Control meeting, it was an asembly in the library. I realized something when they stared talking about sexual abuse. This happened to me! My mind screamed. I started crying and I went outside with my fith grade teacher, and explained it had happened to me, she kept talking about my parents, and the government, oh joy. I went home and told my parents above him, my dads best friend. I cried, I feel ashamed for crying. Then when I was twelve, I started getting flashbacks, interupting me at random intervals. I then told my parents that as well, it took me some time to convince them. My mother doesn't believe me at all, she has stayed with him, my stepdad and not left his side accept for once in a moment of doubt were she was away from him for three months, then they bought a house together. My mother claims, "She just wants to be a normal happy family," I understand but I don't think it's possible, I can't rebury my memories. I'm huanted by a consistent fear of rape, or sexual abuse. I can't stand to be alone with with any older person male, female. It scares me. I can imagine it, me getting hurt like that again, I can't be near my Dad sometimes. I could feel it, my fear, and I can see myself stuggleing, and it doesn't help, see myself getting pressed down penetrated down there, then screaming for help till the pain takes me. It doesn't sound so bad when I type but when I see it, it's the freakiest thing I could imagine. No not the freakiest, one of the freakiest. It scares me. It wouldn't stopG wo t go away. Even my thearapist can't really help. Can you?

[glucoze]

Hunny. I am so so so sorry that this happened to you. I can relate.

And it's a horrible thing when your mother doesn't believe you, let alone continues to let the abuser live in the household. My best friends father raped her and her mother still let him stay. She does believe you but is in denial.

I pray, no I beg you go and talk to someone. Seriously. Like a guidance counsellor,

because she can help you and there are therapists out there that can help you.

 

You are brave, and if you need anything, you want to talk or anything feel free to send me a message.

[Forgiven]

That is a criminal offence.

 

You need to speak to an adult you trust. Can you speak to your cousins, or their parents? What about your dad? Any uncles that you could speak with?

 

You should NOT be accepting this, or being blamed for this. If you mom does not care about your safety and security, then she is not being a responsible parent.

 

Honey, make sure you speak to an adult, immediately. Keep us updated.