so THIS is how he responds

[torontonotes]

yes- i was dumped 2+ weeks ago... and yes, i've tried unsuccessfully to get in touch with him (seems the jerk is pulling a NC on ME)...

 

so, finally he half-assedly attempts to return my calls....but of course I keep missing his calls (he has tried, i.e. calls ONCE but MANY hours later- never leaves a message or anything) since i'm forcing myself to be out of the house and busy.

 

So last night, I had enough of this game. And i texted him this

"Ok ****** look- this is just getting to be plain disrespectful on your part"

 

What do I get? This evening (mind you)A voicemail of this

"Well ******* I've tried to call you back and you don't answer. So please don't text me back and say it's disrespectful. Because once you learn that you need to answer your phone when people call you, and to be available-- then you can call people otherwise. Bye."

 

he still thinks he can be rude. btw, there wasn't even a hello in his msg.

geez he's an idiot.

[DN]

If he left you why would he not go no contact? And how can you 'half-assed' return a call. You either do or you don't. I am not sure how it is his fault that you aren't there to answer his calls. Perhaps I am missing something here.

 

But regardless of all that, it seems that he is sure the relationship is over - don't you think it would be in your best interests to accept that and move on?

[tf987]

Sounds like your text to him was charged and he responded to that. Break ups aren't easy - on either party. Why do you need to get in touch with him?

[torontonotes]

If he left you why would he not go no contact? And how can you 'half-assed' return a call. You either do or you don't. I am not sure how it is his fault that you aren't there to answer his calls. Perhaps I am missing something here.

 

But regardless of all that, it seems that he is sure the relationship is over - don't you think it would be in your best interests to accept that and move on?

 

hey there-

 

I have no idea why, as the dumpER he's been the one ignoring ME for the majority of the past 18 days...

 

I did tell explicitly him that at some point i'd like to talk to him- or we can meet up for coffee or a walk.

 

You see, I would text him with a question (completely unrelated to "us" or our relationship) or call him... and all my efforts at contacting him were futile

 

Finally, the past two days or so-- if I call/text etc.. he will return the call. As in, call at 5:30 on his way from work not even bothering with a vmail. The only time he actually picked up, he told me that mutual friends were over and he'd call me back later. He never did.

 

Maybe i'm not so good at explaining the situation. Nonetheless- I really need to just stop hoping. I feel so stupid. and Pathetic. And he's a master at this reverse psychology bull*hit.

 

How hard is it for him to leave a vmail "Hey, It's me- returning your call... call me back at (whatever time)"

 

Instead, when I return his missed call, he doesn't pick up. It's so childish!

 

I know i need to move on... i just wish it wasn't like this.

[DN]

Well, it is a very untidy ending to say the least. But nevertheless it does seem like a real ending. Perhaps you should just accept that and find a new beginning for the next part of your life.

[torontonotes]

Sounds like your text to him was charged and he responded to that. Break ups aren't easy - on either party. Why do you need to get in touch with him?

 

TF-

 

I originally contacted him for our housekeepers telephone number... And to this day, he hasn't texted the number or left it in a vmail. Why? I haven't got a clue.

 

Days after that I told him I wanted to talk to him at some point.

 

And there was a smattering of un-returned phone calls in between.

 

I must be completely delusional to think that perhaps him attempting to call me back, and even his vmail = progress? I just can't believe that we're broken up... when we were supposed to get engaged this summer. I refuse to believe i'm insignificant to him.

 

going for a smoke. ugh. i hate smoke!

[torontonotes]

DN- I know, trust me- I'm the one who usually doles out relationship advice to my friends!

 

We all know that my efforts to contact him were with hopes of getting him back.

 

So, really- untidy and definite in your opinion?

 

Im sure alot of this is a bruised ego.... but really I just don't know what to do with myself.

[DN]

but really I just don't know what to do with myself.

Yes you do - the same things you would advise someone else to do in your position.

[GenoGeno]

I find I'm actually starting to hate my ex now because she acts like such a freaking Biihotch to me, so that helps with coping haha

[G-Snap]

As a person who has gone through a lot of berating messages, texts, phone calls, etc from an ex I broke up with and got really really exasporated with, all I can say is leave him be. Sometimes a relationship doesn't work out and we want to be gone, and we have that right. I know it hurts, but trying to force him to talk to you won't ease your pain at all.

[MikNomis]

Yup, why do you feel the need to talk to him when he obviously doesn't care much to talk to you? If anything, use his no contact to you as a gift, and go no contact as well.

[torontonotes]

you guys are all absolutely right... I mean, what more do I need to get the idea??

 

I understand that things don't work out- but we are both adults (29/34) and we were SERIOUS- a few days before we broke up, he asked me when I was going to get a manicure so that he could plan our ring shopping.

 

I feel like a broken record, but believe me- when I see your responses it really does help me stay away... I just need to value myself more than this.

 

I didn't feel that I was "berating" him... I didn't call persistently or leave sobbing messages- or angry texts, I was trying to reach out after 2 weeks... Since initially he had said "I need time to think, I'm confused". So i had to try

 

I suppose I just cant wrap my head around the 180 degree turn, that's all. This coming from a man I was supposed to grow-old with.

[DontGetStung]

When I read your original post, I honestly thought you were a teenager. "I I I ME ME ME".

 

Did he give you a reason for breaking up with you? I I I bet it had something to do with you being self centered/a control freak. Not ideal qualities when looking for someone to "grow old" with. Chill out on the contact for like a week and take a look at your relationship with him, a good look, not just the stuff about you getting married, but your interactions with each other on a daily basis.

[torontonotes]

When I read your original post, I honestly thought you were a teenager. "I I I ME ME ME".

 

Did he give you a reason for breaking up with you? I I I bet it had something to do with you being self centered/a control freak. Not ideal qualities when looking for someone to "grow old" with. Chill out on the contact for like a week and take a look at your relationship with him, a good look, not just the stuff about you getting married, but your interactions with each other on a daily basis.

 

Funny you should mention all the "i's"... the thought actually crossed my mind when previewing the post. You're right, that absolutely was one of our problems as he would say, "The whole day revolves around you".

 

Thanks for the blunt criticism, no seriously I appreciate it