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Me and my boyfriend broke up after 4 years of an off and on relationship. We lived together for the last 6 months officially. During our relationship he has broken up with me several times always during an argument but always comes back days, weeks sometimes even months later appoligizing and wanting to get back together. I always gave in and took him back. This time we were living together and he did the same thing, but now i am fed up and didnt want to repeat the vicious cycle. So when he came back asking to work things out I said NO.

 

Its been almost 2 months since this happen. I havent spoken to him or heard from him in 4 weeks. Although i know I made the right decision my feeling are all confused not sure if its because its finally syncing in that its over. I thought about calling him but I figured that will only set me back.

 

Whats the best way to move from this situation?

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Hi Dillydilly,

 

Firstly, you need to be sure about what you want. It doesn't sound like you are sure you are doing the right thing. Can you see a relationship working with this guy if you both worked at it? If so honestly do you think you can both work at it? Do you even want to try at this stage?

 

If the answer to any of the above is no, then you need to draw a line under this relationship, no matter how hard. You have told him how you feel, no you need to continue no contact with him.

 

We all know here how hard this is, but it is one of the mst effective ways of starting the healing process. Then fill your time with things you enjoy doing, learn new skills or hobbies, spend lots of time with family and friends. But always feel free to post here and vent when you need to. They are a great bunch here, and have really supported and helped me. Read through the posts here and you will see you are not alone..

 

Take care,

 

Psi.

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I'm going to assume that you are both very young? I only say that because of the fighting, breaking up and getting back together which is not constructive or healthy. So you have done the right thing by ending this cycle and the fact that he hasn't contacted you tells me that he is as sick of it as you are.

 

You need to get to the root of the problems; one which is what caused the fighting and two, why did you break up and make up each time. Who was responsible?

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