Seraphim Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 When someone does something particularly nasty to someone should a simple sorry be good enough when apologising? Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 It depends on what the person has done, it's never black or white. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 What if one person thinks it is and the other does not? The one who does not has communicated this and the other does not care to make more of an effort? Link to comment
petite Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 Sometimes sorry just isn't enough. It really depends what kind of a relationship it is. Parent/child, husband/wife or friend and of course depends on what actually happened. Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 What if one person thinks it is and the other does not? The one who does not has communicated this and the other does not care to make more of an effort? I think the one that does think it's enough should make an effort to prove they are sorry. Some times words arnt enough. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 I think the one that does think it's enough should make an effort to prove they are sorry. Some times words arnt enough. I am meaning the person who does not feel that just words are enough is the person who was wronged. The other person feels words are good for any situation from just ate the last candy bar to ran over your first born. Link to comment
FarthestEdge Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 Victoria, that's a pretty wide brushstroke there, and really difficult to answer... It could be that 'sorry' seems insufficient because it seems insincere. It could be that 'sorry' isn't good enough, because the other person could do something else to rectify the situation, but chooses not to. It could be that 'sorry' isn't good enough because the offended person is more sensitive than the offender. This is a personality conflict in which neither person is fully to blame... It could be that 'sorry' isn't good enough because the offended party likes to stir up drama and is expecting some butt-kissing that is disproportionate to the offence... and a thousand points in between..... Really no blanket one-size fits all here.... Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 Well it is definitely an offense that warrents more than a simple " I am sorry", unfortunately the other party does not think so. Link to comment
petite Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 If that party doesn't agree and if you want to move past whatever happened, you might have to let it go this time. Make sure to let the person know you do not want it to happen again and explain why. Link to comment
Taikero Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 Well it is definitely an offense that warrents more than a simple " I am sorry", unfortunately the other party does not think so. Okay, so what exactly do you want from them? Do you want them to experience feelings of regret and remorse? Do you want them to do something nice for you so you feel it balances out the negative they did for you? Is there a way for them to change what they did so it's as if it didn't happen? What exactly are you looking for here so things are alright again? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 To me sorry means you are heartfelt in that and you do not do it again. Sorry to the other person means "phew I got out of that scrape". Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 No, saying sorry is not enough to forgive. You actually have to have regrets. "Sorry" is just a word. Without actually feeling behind it, it means nothing. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 No, saying sorry is not enough to forgive. You actually have to have regrets. "Sorry" is just a word. Without actually feeling behind it, it means nothing. That is what I am saying,yes. To me this other person said sorry just to get their backside out of touble not because they acutally mean it. Link to comment
Undyinglova Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 or maybe thats just you imagining it. did the person tell you that they dont mean it? or did they try to tell you that they did mean it, but you just dont believe it? and if its something that cannot be fixed, then sorry is usually all they can do about it. and if they're decent, they will try their best not to repeat the mistake again. again... it all depends on what it is, how seriously you're taking it and how unimportant the other person considers it to be... compromising is the solution here. maybe you should let it go or communicate what you want the other person to do. you cant just say "sorry isnt enough", sometimes you need to tell them what exactly to do to prove to you that they're sincere about it. yeah life is tough, if things dont go your way. Link to comment
thathoopla Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 An apology and explanation would be enough if they don't treat you badly again. If they do it again, sorry means nothing. It means "thank you for letting me hurt you again". Link to comment
Loki71 Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 if you feel that when the other person says sorry and it's not heart felt then maybe it's time to rethink the relationship. Doesn't matter if friend or SO. When sorry no longer cuts it then there is normally a deeper issue. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 That is what I am saying,yes. To me this other person said sorry just to get their backside out of touble not because they acutally mean it. If you feel that way, it's probably true. Are they making an effort to make it right? Are they angry that you aren't taking their apology? What are their actions saying? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 Oh I know it means very little cause they will do it again and they will say sorry then again too. It means very little to them to say a word. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 Maybe that person has no idea what you want from them? I think all you can do is apologize. If they hurt you this much, maybe you just need to stay the heck away from that person. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 If you feel that way, it's probably true. Are they making an effort to make it right? Are they angry that you aren't taking their apology? What are their actions saying? Their actions and words are like it is another day like any other and life goes on and I should accept sorry and like it. Link to comment
Taikero Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 Oh I know it means very little cause they will do it again and they will say sorry then again too. It means very little to them to say a word. So you're looking for remorse and the behavior to stop, and you know the apology doesn't matter because you're just waiting for them to hurt you again. No wonder you're irritated over it. It's not about the apology, it's about the recurring behavior and the casual dismissal of the hurt it's causing you. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 An apology and explanation would be enough if they don't treat you badly again. If they do it again, sorry means nothing. It means "thank you for letting me hurt you again". Yeah, that it pretty much it.........I will say sorry today and if you are dumb enough to fall for it then I can do it again tomorrow. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 So you're looking for remorse and the behavior to stop, and you know the apology doesn't matter because you're just waiting for them to hurt you again. No wonder you're irritated over it. It's not about the apology, it's about the recurring behavior and the casual dismissal of the hurt it's causing you. Yes, that is it exactly. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 if you feel that when the other person says sorry and it's not heart felt then maybe it's time to rethink the relationship. Doesn't matter if friend or SO. When sorry no longer cuts it then there is normally a deeper issue. That is true. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 Yes, that is it exactly. If that is true, I'd cut my ties with this person or keep them at an emotional distance. Link to comment
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