Friends arguing. Did she cross the line?

[cazmoore]

I've had an argument with a friend of mine yesterday about her drunken behaviour, and even though we talked about it after the incident happened, I'm still a little annoyed.

 

My friend and her boyfriend are going through a rough patch after dating for only 4 months. He drinks and smokes weed, he won't change his behaviour and despite the fact she has realized this, she stays with him and complains about it all the time. Her boyfriend is best friends with my boyfriend.

 

Last night we were at a Stag and Doe and as she started to drink, she became more and more loud, obnoxious, ripping on her boyfriend openly about being a drinker and making jokes saying she might hook up with his friends in the bathroom just to 'get at him'. All the while, she said this in front of my boyfriend who was saying to me "How long do you think before she has to go home?" basically because she was on her way to becoming a waste case. She was trying to drag guys on the dance floor to dance with her, she was being over flirtatious ..which whatever, I'm not getting involved.

 

What happened was...

 

I went outside with my boyfriend when he was having a cigarette and more people were being dropped off by cabs so we were all congregating outside in a circle. My friend has come outside and again is being loud, and she goes over to my boyfriend and wraps her arm around his neck and tries to throw her legs up on him and says "Ohhhhh my God! Jim! F*ck me!" I looked at my boyfriend immediately to see what his reaction was, which he pulled her arm off him and moved away from her and moved towards me and said "that was uncomfortable" and I was shocked. I was pretty angry and I said "I'm pretty fu*king mad right now, that was inappropriate. I don't care HOW drunk you are" and I went inside where she followed me, (she must have heard me say that) and she grabbed my arm and said "I was just joking" I told her, "Listen, I'm so angry at you right now that I don't even want to talk to you. I don't care that you're joking, and I get you have problems in YOUR relationship, but don't you EVER pull my boyfriend into your relationship problems and use him, and don't you EVER say that to him, especially while i'm standing next to him. Next time I will knock you out".. and I left her there stunned. My boyfriend came in looking for me and he tried to explain to me that the only reason she said that was because she saw her boyfriend hugging a bunch of girls, got jealous so she tried to make a scene to get her boyfriend jealous... but I really don't care. He wasn't annoyed I told her off, he said she deserved it, she was wrong... because at some point someone was going to tell her off. I had quite a lot to drink at that point, so how i was feeling, I said it and I never held myself back. I was kinda shocked i flew off the handle but i was mad.

 

She spoke to me later on in the night and apologized and said she felt like a * * * * * * * , sorta expecting me to say "no, it's okay" but I said "I'm glad you feel like a * * * * * * * , you're acting like a moron.. that's immature behaviour and I thought more of you"... we made up, and I told her that I will leave the issue there and won't drag it up again... but after sobering up today, I'm still annoyed/surprised. I don't think she has feelings for my boyfriend, but I'm annoyed that she was all over my boyfriend in attempt to make her boyfriend jealous and using him.... and I don't believe in the "well I was drunk" garbage, I do not believe that drinking gives you a license to be a complete idiot.

[Is]

Honestly, I be pretty pissed too if I had a friend drunk trying to get his groove on to my girlfriend. Being drunk is no excuse for inappropriate behavior. You got a right to be mad and still be annoyed by it.

[geekgirl4]

I agree, when you're drunk, your inhibitions fly. If your automatic thinking is using a friend's boyfriend, then that line of thinking has to come from somewhere - most likely a rather troubled personality.

[aloevera]

I believe you have a right to feel upset, as you felt betrayed. Being drunk is no excuse, and you and her shouldn't believe that an apology will make things all better, she really did cross the line of respect. Just give it some time, it will eventually stop bothering you! You just have to understand that she didn't think before she acted. I'm sure she didn't really mean it.

P.s make sure she actually regrets her behaviour!