Breakup disaster..lots of issues with her but i still like her

[sfits]

was in a relationship for 5yrs and a year on i met someone who is fantastic..she broke up with her boyfriend 2 months and she started something with me i have been so affectionate with her and i did a lot for her a i learned alot from my last relationship..today she broke up with me she said i wasnt a rebound she has a lot of baggage, her father died two yrs ago and her brother only a month ago she never opens up about her feelings and she never really grieved about them..she said to me she wants to be on her own headspace and cause she is emotionally a mess and she said she can be nasty when she drinks and takes it out on people and that im so nice to her that she doesnt want to do that to me..i know deep down when she left she has something for me,she said she is attracted to me and has feelings for me but she needs to sort herself out and its bad timing and maybe down the road things might have been different..she said its 100 % over and i should move on and i deserve someone better...should i go NC and see what happens??

[Kahdeksan]

My friend, I hope for your sake that it is over... I'm sorry to have to say that. I am also sorry that you're in the state that you're in.

 

It sounds like she's going through a lot, and she's probably seeking old comforts with her ex. Especially since she's still going through the grieve of her father passing away and now her brother too. She's had a connection with her ex when her family was still around, and perhaps she is wishing to connect with him on those levels, on those old comforts.

 

You, sadly, were her new comfort... but her issues lie much deeper than just attaching to another so soon after a break up.

 

Anyway, you'd best cut your ties, my friend... let this girl go. She feels she needs to be elsewhere, so let her go, for good.

[shessofly]

ok, i'm trying to understand your story-

 

you were in a relationship for 5 years

one year ago you met this girl

this girl then broke up with her boyfriend 2 months after meeting you.

 

so you have been with her for 8 months and you broke up your 5 year relationship 8 months ago to be with the new girl?

[sfits]

yeah was in a relationship for 5 years been single for a year then met this girl on new years eve we had an attraction for each other and she was coming to the end with her boyfriend of 2 years cause he treated her like crap so they broke up the end of jan and we got together a week after that so we were with each other for over a month or so.on and off

[shessofly]

well it sounds like this is all somewhat of a whirlwind of a romance and she has not taken time out to grieve anything. i would definitely not push the issue with her. if she has a habit of holding everything in, things are not likely to get better with the two of you.

[Tlcivi]

Let it go nothing you can do