Worried, confused, thinking too much...

[ACarrington]

I met this older guy 6 months ago, on a site. We ended up really hitting it off and are still friends today. We see each other several times a week, talk on the phone often, go out to dinner, etc. He even took me out for a Valentine's Day early dinner (much to my surprise-- you'll realize why in paragraph 2). It has turned into a lot more than just sex. As of late I sense my feelings towards him growing stronger and deeper-- which scares me.

 

To preface my dilemma, we are both in the closet and bisexual. My friend has a long term live in girlfriend of many years. He also has another younger male buddy of 2 years. I knew about both of them pretty early on and it didnt bother me at first, but now I find myself asking myself questions... How can a person be sexually and emotionally involved with three people at the same time? How can you trust someone that is deceitful to others? Should I open my heart to someone like this? Is it worth being in this relationship that obviously has a clear limit on where it can go? Does he really care that much about me? Is something wrong with him for having three lovers? I do feel guilty for my involvement (obviously not enough to stop though... I realize karma may come back to haunt me some day) etc etc...

 

I do not want to ride off into the sun set with this man, I am not going to out myself, nor do I want a boyfriend... BUT I a deeply care about him, and it can only get deeper from here, which scares me. I dont want to get hurt. Any advice on this bizarre situation? Has anyone ever been involved in something similar or comparable?

 

Thank you!

[ToF]

Run.

 

No good can come of this. He is using you for sex, but you already kind of figured that out, from what I can tell.

 

It's not easy, once you start getting invested in someone. I know. But you need to just break it off and never look back.

 

You will thank yourself later.

[ACarrington]

Thanks for the input.

[ToF]

Sorry if it was a little harsh, but from what you wrote it just seems like a very bad situation.

 

Is there any reason you would want to stay involved in this?