Still struggling with heartbreak

[jess1606]

I am new here and I wanted to post because I am seriously struggling at the moment.

My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me last October, (yes over 5 months ago) and I am getting better but I don't feel I am ever going to get over it.

 

The basics are:

Nathan is my Uncle's step son. We were best friends which lead to more.

He is 8 months younger than me (20) I am almost 21.

He courted me for over 9 months until I finally decided to date him.

We became very serious, his family, (who techincally are also mine) would tell him I wasn't outgoing enough and would suggest other girls for him to go out with.

After 6 months he moved in full time with my family. We loved each other very much however he became abusive, mentally, emotionally as well as physically but I stayed because I loved him. He said he wanted to marry me.

 

One night he went to a party and cheated on me, then apoligised, we tried to work it out but then he decided he wanted to try his luck with this girl. I let him go I figured if he could get it out of his system he might come back to me forever. Needless to say less than 24 hours later he was back, saying it was a mistake and I was how he wanted. We were stronger than before.

 

We started talking marriage, kids, houses. He told me I was the one and I felt the same. Said he never wanted to be without me He parents and his friends continued to tell him to break up with me. The abuse also continued.

 

In October we had a big family camping trip. We went for a drive and he was talking about our kids. Next morning he asked me if I could wait 2 years to get engaged, of course I said yes. 4 hours later he told me it was over he didn't love me anymore.

Turns out my Uncle had given him the idea a 27 year old family friend liked him so he wanted to be with her. Threw 3 years away. I had to leave only 1 day into my trip.

3 days later he came to get his stuff said it was a mistake but jsut needed some time alone.

Then went home and his parents talked him out of it. 1 week later he had a new girlfriend, who he then loved a week later. They are still together.

 

I suppose I have accpeted its over but it is so hard because I can't get away from it, because its family it so close. He is apparently much happier with out me, having a better life, getting drunk and going out which he wasn't interested in before.

 

I just need to know that this is a good thing, that I should be happy he isn't abusing me anymore but what if he doesn't abuse her? He was happy one minute threw us away the next.

 

Just looking for supportive words.

Thanks

[vanessa23]

Its good that he's out of your life. Even though rejection can be hard sometimes, ultimately he's not right for you. He would have cared about you and been there for you. At least you found out what he's like and now you can look for something better. Who wants a cheating abusive guy anyway? And yes, honey he will abuse the next girl too. It had nothing to do with you, and it never does. He sounds like a loser. Consider yourself lucky you got out the way you did. For some its not that easy.