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His interest level...


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First, I want to say how funny it is, watching myself post under the different topics. Ive come full circle over the last two and a half years!


Second, for all those going through breakups... nothing heals like time and activity. 6 months ago I was very sad over my breakup (eventhough I initiated it); now I am as healed as I could be in that time period.


Soooo, for my question. I met a guy online. Before we met he would text me often, every day or so. I would text/write him the other days/times.


We met, it went well. There was, like, and instant feeling of comfort instead of the usual nervousness/uncomfortableness. I liked him right away. We had good conversation and after we parted I texted him saying thanks for being nice and normal. He responded saying it wasnt nearly as awkward as he expected and that I was even better looking in person.


Met again about 4 days later. Had a good time again. We both have pretty busy/day to day schedule, so the only day we could meet up was a week from our last date. Thing is, he hasnt once texted me. I contacted him twice and we confirned we were both still available for the day we were planning on meeting up.


Now, does this lack of contact mean anything or am I just not used to this? Is its just that before he texted bc we were trying to get to know each other before we met, and now that we are cool he doesnt need to? Or is he not that interested? I just want opinions bc this is the first guy I met that I actually have any interest in. Dont get me wrong, Im not putting everything on this guy, I have another Im getting to know, but just curious...

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Sounds like you're playing my personal favorite, the "overthinking it" game. I do this all the time: worry about not getting texted/contacted only to realize hey, she's probably thinking in her head "I want to talk to him! but if I text him, he'll think I'm clingy/crazy/desperate!"


I'd imagine he might be trying to play it safe to not scare you off. If you want to test the waters, send him a text a day or two before the date, talking about some subject other than the date itself.

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hahah yes, i know im over thinking it!


im gonna leave the next text up to him. we both confirmed we were free saturday evening. so ill wait to hear from him on saturday afternoon (we confirmed this wednesday i think). my logical part says, of course he likes me! im beautiful and funny and smart and we have great conversation, but that crazy nut job in the back of me gets confused hahaha!

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These games we play, oh these games. I wish everyone would just ditch the stupid should-do's and shouldn't-dos of dating and just do what comes natural to YOURSELF. Yeah, you'll find you're not as compatible with more people than you thought, but at least when you find the one you ARE you'll be happier than ever.


Anyway, don't over analyze. Give it some time and space and let nature take its course. Do what feels right. If you want to text him, text him. If he thinks you're being too needy, then you'll know he doesn't meet YOUR standards and not the other way around. I'm sure in you're healing you realized that you have to put yourself first. This is no different. Some guys like a needy girl, some don't. I prefer a confident girl, but one that's not afraid to remind me that she digs me. Different strokes for different folk.

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We all want direct, honest communication but dating is not like that (whether we like it or not). There is a lot of anxiety and insecurity on both parts. This is why guys wait three days to call even if they want to call right away - they don't want to appear clingy. Same with women, they don't want to come accross as desperate. So instead of having nice clear communication, we have veiled, inconsistent, confusing communication. Unfortunately, that is the nature of the beast. We all come on this site and people say, "oh he should have called or said blah, blah, blah" when in fact, it is hightly unusual to have two people who completely just say and act how they truly feel.


So I guess what I am saying is that the reason you might not be hearing from him could be he doesn't want to appear too interested. The problem is that it is hard to tell if he really IS NOT interested or just doesn't want to appear too eager. We can't know until we know the person better or the relationship just fizzles out. So I would suggest to the OP that you just wait and see. Don't be too eager. Don't be too elusive. Try to find a balance and not think too much about it. In time it will all work itself out.

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