Should i keep trying?

[snugglebuny]

ok so here is the deal.

i was dating this guy for 6 months and we were totally devoted to each other. we bickered and fought regularly but over little things. i have very controlling parents and they didnt like that i was getting into such a serious relationship as they felt they had already lost me once (i moved out) so they reeled me back in. im a very caring person and always try to make everyone happy no matter how it affects me. so anyway i was thinking things through. my mother had planted so many seeds of doubt in my mind about my relationship with my bf that i started to believe it. like how he critisizes my body and makes me upset. i honestly love him more than i can put into words. he is an amazing sensitive guy and as a consequense wen im upset or seem a bit different he pushes the issue till i tell him everything. which just so happened to be the day before his birthday. so there was a huge fight and on his birthday we broke up (apparently i dumped him but i swear it wasnt like that) he took it really hard. begging and crying and drinking and smoking and self harm and all that bad stuff. he wanted to marry me and thought we were soul mates. we were split up for 41 days and during that time we were still sleeping together discretely and i was encouraging him to move on (i dont like to see him hurt) during our break i slept with a friend and then my ex txt me and said he couldnt sleep and like i said im caring so i went over to be with him (not for sex) just to be conpanionable he always told me he slept better with me. but one thing lead to another and we had sex. so id slept with 2 guys within an hour. it made me physically sick and when my ex asked i had said no i hadnt slept with anyone. later down the track i told him because i felt so bad. he had been romancing this other girl during this time and had feelings for her but maintained he loved me. when i suggested me get back together and told him i made a mistake and how much i love him he strung both me and this other girl along. im sure shes really lovely and im not nasty so i wouldnt do anything to make her go away. i let him do what he needed. i mean fairs fair right? i slept with someone y shouldnt he? he wanted to sleep with her... i think he still does but we ended up getting back together but only because i had made a special effort to reach out to his parents and make them understand the situation. we went on a double date with his parents to a movie and he was all affectionate at home in the car but not in public. he wouldnt hold my hand or even stand too close just in case a he saw someone he knew or someone who knew the other girl. obviously i was cut up about this but i didnt say anything or do anything but when we were in the cinema he tried to hold my hand and kiss me and slide his hands up my skirt. i told him that he has to choose. as mean as that is i have to do whats right for me once in a while. i cant be the offsider or the booty call thats rediculous. im a catch and i know it and he knows it which is y hes still hanging on. he wants to have his cake and eat it too well now we have almost been together for a month and last night we had a huge fight over something silly and he blurted out that i forced him back into this relationship and stuff. he keeps coming back to that i lied to him (the only time i ever did) i have continually tried to make amends our relationship is really unbalanced atm he gets everything he wants and im just happy to be with him. i love him so much and am even going to move to the other side of the country to be with him while he goes to university. he says i messed around while we were split (which i did but i was single and fully entitled to that) but so did he. he wont talk about the other girl and he told me he had told her we were dating again but i cant help but doubt him. ino he sends late night texts when he thinks im alseep and thats not to mention the times im not there. i trust him i do so id never go through his phone (which he thinks i do) or anything like that im trying to give him his space and he has alot of leeway in this relationship. he keeps saying he cant deal with the fighting and to be honest its really taking its toll on me. im almost ready to break it off. but i know how i was without him and i cant do that again. i love him so much and am so confused and i cant talk to anyone im close to because they are all bias. please anyone. tell me what i should do.

 

ps sorry its so long it just helps to vent my frustration

[MikNomis]

Well it seems that nothing has changed since you two have last broken up, so it makes sense that you two are still fighting constantly, only this time you each fooled around with someone else while you were broken up (which both of you are entitled to do), but your boyfriend seems to be shadily still talking to this other girl. Trust issue plus fighting is no good, you should try to resolve this with a serious talk. I think though that your guy will not be able to talk without getting mad, in which case you're probably screwed and have no choice but to eventually put an end to this whole thing.