maddy001 Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 I am going through a break up and have decided to do the 30 days NC, this is day 1 So glad to see that im not alone with this issue. I am "single" mom and I got divorced from my husband 3.5 years ago. We were together 7 yrs total. After my divorce, i took my time before I started going out again, 6 months, and I was ready for the club and some drinks. I really wasnt looking for anything. I live in a very small town (my ex-husband lives in FL) and its hard to meet people that u havent already "heard about". He came in, looked right at me and my heart dropped. I knew him from high school and had a crush on him forever. but he had a terrible reputation for being not so good with females. But hey, we are in our 30s now, maybe he's different. Our attraction was instant and felt very natural. We got hot and heavy really quick and I was pulling back a little at that point. Things were good up until we had a disagreement about 8 months into it. He gave me the silent treatment for 2 months. I now know thats passive aggressive and have learned alot about that disorder. We got back together because he saw my friends out without me and assumed I was with someone else..i wasnt. Im totally in love with this guy but we are so hot and cold that i dont know what to do. We seemed to get on this schedule (his), 2 nights a week together, nooners if possible duting the week. Sex is def not a problem, never has been. But i dont like being squeezed into someones schedule at all. He also never called or texted me in between those days and he used to in the beginning. So I would put up a stink and he would do the silent treatment again and again. I dont know how many there were, but we've been on and off for about 3.5 yrs now. Somehow, I became a booty call and started to get angry about it. I admit that I let him treat me that way but I also stopped it in its tracks. He went from calling me everyday and taking me out every weekend to sex on Thurs and Sat night after the bar. It was horrible and I couldnt continue. So, i stopped it 2 months ago, we had some horrible (text) fights, but of course, i was lonely and drunk and called him last weekend, he was over to see me within minutes, we had great sex and a great night. So he didnt call or text for 1 week since that night and neither did I. I was trying not to make a big deal because I was confused also. But to wake up on the following Sunday morning after being home sick, I find his pictures plastered all over FB drinking and smiling with his ex from a million yrs ago. I am so pissed, i texted him right away, told him off and now im doing no contact..DAY 1....i need to stop giving into this guy, do I want him just because he makes me work for it? or is he a total ass? Link to comment
XxJustMexX Posted March 16, 2010 Share Posted March 16, 2010 or is he a total ass? Ummm.... Yes.... Link to comment
maddy001 Posted March 18, 2010 Author Share Posted March 18, 2010 i know...after writing all of that, its very clear, just wish i wasnt in love with him I am days 2 NC...and plan on going as long as i can.....seems like an eternity, but i deserve so much better and if he doesnt come around and try...then he wasnt the one for me. Sex is easy to get, its love and respect that isnt. Link to comment
tamachan09 Posted March 18, 2010 Share Posted March 18, 2010 I know.... I think most of us all fall for things like this during our lifetime. I just did, too. And I ended up being the psycho crazy * * * * * that he called me. NC is the only way to stop the cycle. It is hard because we are an emotional people and we react. So don't be like me and go crazy because I did and I regret it very much... It doesn't help myself to try and explain or gain sympathy from men like that. They will find a way to tear you down over and over and make you think you are the wrong one and they never did anything wrong. Link to comment
maddy001 Posted March 18, 2010 Author Share Posted March 18, 2010 I agree. No contact is the only way at this point. He's not a healthy man, physically and emotionally....so i need to let him go. He will bring me down, I did the crazy chick thing with him and also the passive/cool thing...none of it works....I honestly dont even know that he loves me and thats sad after the time we spent. Link to comment
maddy001 Posted March 18, 2010 Author Share Posted March 18, 2010 oh and im on day 3 NC.....y does it suck so bad???? UGH. I also had my tarot cards read the other day, not that i hold it true 100%, but he is definitely my downfall and i was told he would not be faithful to me in the future...GREAT! Link to comment
immahokie09 Posted March 18, 2010 Share Posted March 18, 2010 Wow he is definitely a huge jerk! You deserve so, so much better than that. He seems to be very self-absorbed and completely inconsiderate to your feelings, wants, or needs. You definitely need to move on. Let someone else deal with his crap! And if you see facebook pictures or any other similar thing don't let him know it bothers you! It just adds to his inflated ego. I wish you the best and remember you are worth more than that! Link to comment
maddy001 Posted March 19, 2010 Author Share Posted March 19, 2010 thank u Im doing my best..... NC day 4....and i plan on many more.... Link to comment
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