Depressed, feeling alone

[ATLstudent]

I am just depressed right now, sitting at home on this darn laptop. I am still not fully convinced on what my sexual orientation is, which makes it hard to take a strong direction, but i am looking to meet some gay guys.

But all i am doing right now is sitting at home in a hole, my room like sucks me in, i dont feel comfortable around my roomates, i wall up in here, and get locked on this computer and it really depresses me. I wish some cute guy would just fall out of the sky and land on me. I mean i guess i am just a little insecure about being possibly gay, or bi, and find it hard to be open with people and let people know i am available, i dont really know any gay guys my age either, where do i go from here. How do i meet more people, im not into the club or bar scene, dont drink or use drugs.

And i guess the number one thing is the depression i am feeling right now, i cant go meet someone or go out around town and meet people when i feel like this, i will just wallow around....Any advice, anyone been here

[shuttlefish]

I'm not sure if you live in a big city or not (I do) but a gay friend of mine said he meets lots of like minded individuals since he joined a Men's choir. It sounds like alot of fun....of course it helps if you can sing. They have concerts and do charity work etc as well as socializing. It's not exclusively gay either but is gay friendly.

 

As for the rest of your post...I feel your pain. and I've been there. This might be one of those occasions when you have to "fake it, in order to make it".

 

It does seem ironic when at a time when one needs to be friendly, happy, outgoing etc is when one least feels like doing those things.

 

Good imagery on the "rooms sucks me in" quote. That is exactly how it feels like sometimes doesn't it?

[XxJustMexX]

I'm bipolar... so yes, depression knows me well. I've only hit an all time absolute low once in my life though, but it lasted for 2 years... I can definitely relate. Without going into too much here... all I can really say is do you have medical insurance? I found the only way I and most others can fix depression is through medication... I tried talking and therapy and I believe talking won't fix a chemical imbalance... I'm on and off meds and I guarantee you, life is better on...

[1WayTicket2Norway]

Hey ATL

 

I've just come out of a major depressive episode, and i've been lonely for a very long time, so i know what you're going through, and i empathise completely. I'm so much better now though, so hopefully i can offer some advice.

 

Unfortunately Depression is one of those things you really have no controll over. you can't just force yourself to be happy, so I can understand why it's so easy to withdraw from other people and social activities.

 

So before you even think about being in a relationship, you need to focus on getting your life back on track. You can't expect to find someone by just sitting in your room, feeling depressed all the time. There are a lot different ways to treat depression, ranging from diet and excersise, to medication. A lot of people underestimate diet and excersise, but it can make a real difference to your state of mind. And you absolutely need a change of scenery.. get yourself out of your room. this is very important.

 

If you find that excersise and diet isn't working for you, then you should consider antidepressants. OK, i know that there are a lot of people who are opposed to these sorts of drugs, but they really are life savers. And most doctors will recommend them. I'm currtently on antidepressants, and i feel like a new person. seriously the best decision i think i've ever made.

 

Once you've done all these things to improve your current lifestyle, i think you should consider being more open about your sexuality. Don't be afraid of it.. embrace it for what it is. it doesn't make you any less of a person. If you do this, everything else should start falling into place. guys will start noticing you... and you won't even have to go to clubs or bars. Just try to meet new people, and join different social groups, whether it be at work or college or whatever. surround yourself with people you feel comfortable with. if you can't go up to a close friend and tell them that you are gay/bi, then they are probably not worth being friends with.

 

I really hope this helps. good luck!

[ceez]

anyone been here

 

I'm there now, it sucks one minute I'm fine and the next its like all the life gets sucked out of me.

[ATLstudent]

Norway, great advice....thank you, that was an awesome response. I was in AA actively not to long ago and it really helped with my depression, i really think making changes is a big must for me...the first being, start getting to work and stop laying in bed. After awhile it doesnt feel like a choice, it feels like i cant get out of bed, but before that i know i chose to just lay around, and then it snow balls, then i am back where i started

[lukeb]

I think the way out of depression is not to try to make too large resolutions to make big life changes. Try to set small goals, meet those small goals, feel good about your accomplishments and build on that success.

 

I wish you luck