need some help

[RussaKong]

hi, listen i am in need of help i just broke up with my girl a little over a month ago after 4 years i did not think it would hurt like this. i tried to be friends and i wanted to get back with her. See i * * * * ed up really bad i lied alot and did stupid * * * * and i want to show her i can change but i feel like i should just let go. I dont no what to do i just want to forget her and everything i dont normally feel like this. im not an emotional person so if some one could give me some advice that would be great thankyou.

[Mauxly]

We need a bit more information. How old are you guys. And what kind of stuff did you do that hurt her?

 

You say that you want to show her that you can change. But saying, "I can change!" and making concrete steps toward actual change are two very different things. Usually, if we have a tendency to treat people close to us poorly, it is because we've been treated poorly. It is very difficult to undo that kind of damage (the damage that we have suffered) without getting help.

 

Your best bet is to leave her alone, go NC. And then start changing yourself in her absence. If you try to change just to get her back, it won't 'stick', and you are likely to hurt her again.

[theeone]

Your girlfriend left you because you couldn't take care of her the way she ultimately needed. You lied to her about your entire relationship, basically where you came from, how you did things, what was going through your mind... How can you communicate like that? How can you grow and do things with each other if time and time again, you keep lying to her. And she keeps distancing herself to the point where she can't trust you to go to the bank or even do something as simple as go hang out with friends.

 

For her, you ruined multiple holidays, Halloween being number one. You weren't there for either of her birthdays - which I will tell you hurts her deeply that you couldn't donate your time to tell her that you care. Next, after valentines day she realized that her boyfriend wasn't as faithful as she might have presumed. Cheating? Deceiving? Girls sleeping over and LYING about it?

 

Prom. Texting her EX best friend who now talks a lot of smack (1st you should have DEFENDED YOUR GIRL, like any real man would have)... And you tell HER that she was the hottest thing that night. Uhm, wasnt that the night we went to MY CAPE HOUSE and I * * * * ed your brains out? Oh yes.... See Rob, your a real winner.

 

Next, graduation was so stressful. I should have chosen a friend of mine that was happy to walk with me. Goddamnit, all i wanted were pictures with you. And you were too busy sleeping and focusing on what food you were getting for lunch.

 

Next, her entire summer was completely ruined because all her boyfriend wanted to do was distance himself and go clubbing anywhere he wanted. With a friend she has never met.. to this day.... Who goes out looking for girls to cheat on his own girlfriend with? Why would you choose to spend your time backing away from Lyss when you could have fixed your relationship with her? I mean... You know she never asked for much... at ...all...

 

Next would be leaving for college, pictures of people that have talked * * * * about her in the past. People who left her in the dust, but ... Rob Russo didn't care... Hanging out with 15 year old girls he has kissed while he has a girlfriend, and getting underage kids smashed is exactly the right priorities...

Especially when his girlfriend is leaving for college. She is scared out of her mind. Terrified because her life on one end is ending while really, it is just beginning. Why couldn't you be there for me during that time?

 

Next, our only anniversary we were together for.. you did not do anything for me. After 4 years, is that what I really meant to you? I meant...nothing. The best I got that day was a kiss when you were heading off to work...

But don't you remember when I took your birthday off from work..and we did everything you wanted that day... Watched Forest Gump and sat like lazy * * * * s...Like always.

 

And reminding you about our half anniversary three days prior was still not good enough for Russo. You still did not follow through, and ultimately let her down.

I mean all i wanted was for you to text me during the day letting me know that you loved me still.. I'm 60 miles away goddamn. Its tough as it is keeping a relationship going . BUT YOU NEVER TRIED. All I wanted was to know you actually wanted to see me... But whats funny is... I saw that the SECOND our relationship ended...When you realized I turned my back on you and starting giving up on the only hope i had accumulated over our very long relationship...

 

You lied about me taking your virginity (which btw, is a really really sexy thing. You didnt have to make yourself out to be this PIMP...I hated it). You lied about kissing megan and god knows who else. You lied about different videos of girls making out on your phone, and you've lied about where you were and how very important things happened, quite a bit. And after all of this you still try to act like the nice guy?

 

Like I never gave you plenty of opportunities to tell me the truth and forgive and move on. But no, you lied to me. And after a year of crying...Trying to follow my gut instinct...Now in 2010 you want me to forgive you?

You want me to forgive you for calling me a * * * * * and a * * * * over a voice mail while clubbing with girls I thought you were cheating on me with... You THINK that is okay? You think it is okay acting like an immature * * * * * , PASSING me on the road almost killing yourself, and possibly killing me?

 

You are such an inconsiderate * * * * * to even think that your the victim in this. You are the most thick-headed, insecure * * * * * * * i've ever met and I will tell you ...You will be NO part of my life. You let me down, you embarrassed me in front of my family, my friends, and now...over facebook...the whole school.

 

And i wont have any of it. You pull a stunt like you did tonight and trust me, you will wish you never met me. So Rob Russo, I hope you find your nitch in life.. I wish you the best in everything you do and I hope you don't get into too much trouble. But for me, I will tell you. I'm way to good for you. I treated you like a king when you were nothing but an immature, little boy. So i'm going searching. To find myself and who I really am, and someone who can handle that. Someone who can take care of me the way I want and need, and someone who actually gives a * * * * . Peace out mother * * * * er.'

 

OH AND PS:

DONT GET YOUR 8TH GRADE FRIENDS PREGNANT. KTHNX.