Unhealthy Jealousy

[rose6426]

So ive not done anything like this before, im a forum virgin. Recently ive been realised that i experience jealousy a lot of the time. It doesnt take a lot to set off my feelings of jealousy and it's really destructive to my relationships with friends. I have two best friends, one of which i have lived with for several years now and the other of which has recently moved in with us. They're doing separate things together without me more often and i get jealous of this. They make dates together and they both have boyfriends while i dont, so they connect on that subject while i can not relate as i dont have a boy. I get jealous of them spending time without me, of having 'in jokes' that im not involved in and of them getting closer to each other without me. I know that i shouldnt feel like this, and i wish that i didnt! I look at them and how easy going they are, how much fun they have together and wish that i could be like that. I just dont know how to stop these feelings! When they make plans together i start to think things like "its because im annoying and no fun to be with", "i need to let them do this together then i'll get to do something with them individually as a reward" but then when something doesnt happen straight away i get annoyed, pull away from them and end up in an argument. I already know exactly how it will go and how stupid i will feel after the argument, and its just shame that i ever made such a big deal out of nothing! The more i make a big deal out of the small things, the more i drive them away. I know this, but for some reason i still keep feeling like this and dealing with it in the same way. I pull away, i get annoyed at them, which leads to feeling distant from them, makes me feel sad about it and then we have an argument leading to shame at the whole situation. How can i deal with this in a different way??? I cant deny my feelings, but i cant talk it through with them again, i want them to be able to have fun, but i dont want to feel crap everytime they do! Anyone have any advice for me? I would be grateful for any ideas on alternative ways to deal with this jealousy.

[redsoles]

Yeah.. I think you need to relax.

 

I think you're insecure about alot of things.

That kind of jealous is not normal. Better get that undercontrol because I can assure you, nobody likes someone that is jealous like that.

 

Also why are you JEALOUS of them? Maybe you should put yourself out there? stop complaining - no one likes a complainer - and get out there. By then, you're bound to meet people. Make new friends.

I can't stress that enough. Make new friends! These people are not the only ones on the planet.

 

Jealous cause they "bond" over boyfriends, and inside jokeS?

Maybe you are annoying, who knows. You need to work on yourself. Talk to someone about your feelings cause this is not healthy, I for one wouldn't stand to be around someone that jealous. Its seriously immature.

 

Hope that helped.

[Shelley.]

Maybe thats a bit harsh..

If shes only just recently moved in, maybe its just you feel like she's taking your place a bit? Can't you invite yourself along to these things? If their both good friends Im sure they won't mind!

Jealously is a horrible feeling but they are going to do things together every once in a while, but im sure they think nothing of it and don't even realise it's that, that is bothering you, so maybe try and speak to them?