Fear of rejection

[saddy]

Tomorrow is my birthday.

I've always been really shy. As a teen, I was overprotected by my parents and never really mingled with other classmates. I never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl until I turned 23, even if I am good looking.

And I never organized a birthday party because I am afraid that people will feel obliged to come, or that they will simply bail out and I'm just going to end up with my girlfriend and it's going to be very lame.

Anyway, this year, my new girlfriend wanted to organize something for my birthday. She asked me for the contact of some (not so close) friends. I gave it to her, but now I'm freaking out: what if they all say no? Then I feel that she's going to realize how lame I am, that I have no friends (even if I know my close friends are going to join)... I'm completely scared!

I know I have issues... but did any of you ever faced that, how did you handle it?

[Shelley.]

I had the same problem when organising my party, and ended up way over compensating and inviting far too many people and friends of friends ect because I was scared half of them wouldn't bother. Turns out they did.. and my house is only small!!

But if you know your close friends are going to turn up then thats all thats important really and im sure she won't think your lame! Its better to have a few close friends you know you can rely on. and to be honest a party is a party im sure people will jump at the chance. Hope it all goes ok.

[I_Speak_Jive]

Hey Saddy!

 

First of all, welcome to ENA And second of all, a very happy early birthday to you!

 

Ah, the good ol' terror about throwing a party and nobody showing up. I used to feel a bit anxious about the same thing back in the days whenever I threw a party. I felt so responsible for the whole thing turning out spotless and great, and I used to forget to just relax and have fun with the planning.

 

One day I threw a party and almost everyone bailed out at the last minute. So me and the three poor souls who showed up had a good laugh at how lame the whole thing was, drank all the booze, ate all the cheese puffs and had a FANTASTIC time.

 

I think what you need to ask yourself is: what's the worst that can happen? That nobody shows up except the girlfriend and your close friends? In that case you can just have a good laugh and enjoy a great birthday with the people who really matter.

 

But that won't even happen, because most people won't pass up a chance to go to a party. So they'll come. You'll see.