I am my own worst enemy. How can I stop this?

[Slagar]

Hey everyone

Long time no post

 

Well... basically, me and my girlfriend love eachother very much... we've been going out for a bit over 3 months now.

 

Occasionally, I feel down/depressed/blue... as everyone does. In my case this causes me to feel that I am not good enough for my girlfriend (as I think the world of her)... and it makes me feel that she deserves better. But I really have no reason to think this, as she thinks the world of me too...

I feel that she is going to leave me unless I cheer up, because no one likes to see people down all the time. Feeling that she is going to leave me because I am down, just makes me more down...

... and it just sort of feeds on itself in a vicious loop, and becomes very hard to get out of it.

 

Recently I made her very sad because I was so depressed, and it ended in tears.

Things are okay again, but I still feel awful for putting her through that, and have to make it up to her...

 

My question is, has anyone ever had a similar problem? I need some advice on how to beat this... because it's really nasty. If anything breaks us apart then it'll be this. She also goes through a similar thing every now and then... so if I know how to beat it with me, then I'll be able to help her out of it too

The big doozy here is that it seems to only happen when we're apart. We can't see eachother all that much due to living fairly far apart, and both having very busy lives. To make up for it, we chat a lot on MSN... I think this wouldn't happen if we saw eachother more, because we are both always very happy when we're together, and seeing her always cheers me up.

 

So yeah, basically once that self-doubt/depression loop starts, it's really hard to break out of, because I can think about nothing else.

Anyone have any tips?

[BreArna]

I think if its this serious, meaning its affecting ur relationships then you should really think about getting some professional help before it gets outa control.. Other then that im not sure what you could do , sorry

good luck tho

[Slagar]

Hmm, yeah...

I really don't think professional help is needed though.

I really don't dislike myself hardly at all, lol... it's just when I get into this loop I can't think about anything else, and continue being depressed.

 

I think I need to find a really good way to just take my mind off things... and absorb me in something else for a while. It's usually what gets me out of it, and cheers me up. I can't program anything or study though, because I don't concentrate enough...

So far, I think I have found a good outlet in videogames... (I can't believe I didn't think of it before, lol)... they allow me to completely ignore my feelings and just get absorbed in a game for a while. Once I stop playing, I am out of that loop, and everything is okay again.

 

Well, from now on I am going to be much more careful though... I have been letting it get a bit out of hand lately. This experience with my girlfriend made me feel really horrible, and I fear I came close to losing her. I am going to be far more careful from now on...

 

But yeah, if anyone has any additional tips or thoughts on this they'd be much appreciated

[sweetie_33]

hey... if she really love you she wont leave you becoz ur feeling down and depressed... i think in this case, she's the one that should be on ur side and try to help u with any problem ur having... so u should stop thinking that she would leave u becoz ur down if u really think that she loves u... why dont u try talking to her on the phone or go out instead of talking on msn!??!?..why dont u try this?

[Borashi]

I also am my own worst enemy at times, I go through bouts of depression where I feel like I have to tear myself down just to get to my purest level. I'd say a lot of the time I have self doubt/pity about myself. It definitely has held me down in friendships and relationships. At times it feels like my world is crumbling beneath me. I'll be negative to myself at times for no reason. I might have bi polar, the only escape I really have is exercise, music, and driving fast. I remember a special friendship I had with this girl that meant a lot to me, but I think my casual bouts of depression scared her away. At times she'd wonder what was wrong with me, then in turn I'd make up an excuse just to hide my depression.

Theo