am i really jelious or just mad

[erics_gal]

Me and my man of 9 months recently went and watched a R rated movie. It showed these two young womens breast, and he just kept on watching it like I wasn't even there. It also showed a man naked, front as well as back, and I could tell he didn't want me to see it. What is the difference in me seeing a man naked, than him looking at womens naked breast? Is there something wrong with me, or is it just natural to feel offended. I love him, but I am afraid that if I tell him how I feel, he might think I'm just jelious. HELP!?!? What do I do

[maverick]

U need to calm down in my opinion. Guys are fascinated with the oppositte sex, especially when there is a lack of clothing. Take it easy, you have nothing to worry about. Good Luck!

 

Maverick

[mermayd]

It took me a long time to come to the realization that men are very visually stimulated. I don't have to like that fact, but I have to accept it. All men are this way. A woman's body is ideal beauty, a male is naturally attracted to this, a female is naturally envious. I think that you should try to accept that he will look at women just to appreciate the beauty, just as you will most likely appreciate and notice the attractiveness of other men. Although neither partner likes it, the fact remains a fact. You cannot discourage him for looking if you look too. And it goes visa versa. He should not get so weird at you looking at another man when he had just looked at a female.

Keep in mind that looking does not in any way reflect the amount of love involved between you. Either of you looking at another isn't going to lessen the love or the attraction for the other. And also, we are bothered by our mate looking at someone else, b/c when we see what theya re looking at, we tend to find things within them, that we lack in ourself. But what we need to remember is that we have many things within ourself that the person we are envying lacks. All attributes of a relationship fall into this category.

One other thing is that we gawk at the naked body b/c we are mystified by it. It is not something that we see as often as we see fully dressed people. nakedness and near-nakedness are somewhat rarities. If everyone on earth walked around naked, I am sure that both sexes wouldn't be so hypnotized by it as we are now.

[SwingFox]

Hi Erics_Gal,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to this site with your questions.

 

I wouldn't worry over what happened there. In the end he IS going home with you and not with this woman that he stared at. It might be a good idea to talk to him about how you felt and see what he says, but to make this a BIG issue ... nah ... you'll be fine.

 

Don't worry too much

 

~ SwingFox ~

[Pengui6668]

You've got nothing to worry about... Women's bodies are things of beauty and you should be happy he appreciates it. You've got nothing to worry about.. she's a movie, you're real, you win hands down.. no need to be jealous or mad either. it's just a movie.. now if your sister's walking around your house naked and he stares, then you can be angry and jealous.

[sisterlynch]

This is just an opinion, but stick with the PG13 movies for a while. When we were younger we went to see a movie called Bodydouble, and we had to leave early as it was way over the top erotic for our sensability. We rented it one time and my BF made me leave the house at the same part of the movie he is just so sensative to that sort of thing. Now that we are older and married we can deal with it much better.

[Majere1972]

First of all, I would like to be the one to give you a first hand account on an honest man's point of view. They are right. men are attracted to women "visually". It's not necessarily an exact account of what they want or what they are looking for, because to be honest, myself, I tend to be a huge fan of some supermodels, but I would never in my life ever trade the woman I have for any of them. (Mandy Fisher, Victoria Silvstedt, etc.)

They may be beautiful with or without clothes on, but they aren't real, and most if not all are married. Happily I might add. So in essense, if it comes right down to Jealousy, or if you think it is, just think to yourself that he can't have them anyway. Besides, what do they have that you don't? A body? Whatever. Not everything that looks nice IS nice. A little point: My favorite actor just happens to be Sean Connery. I love the man to death because he plays the perfect role in everything that he does, but the rumors of him being a wife beater really turns my stomach! Just a little info.

Anyway, I believe that alot of the nudity thing between men and women has alot to do with sexuality. How many men do you know that would love to have two women at the same time? Now compare that to how many men you know that would like a threesome with a guy and a girl. I'll just bet that the percentage difference would shock you. And I can almost guarantee that the reason for it would be Jealousy, or insecurity. Trust me. Being a man, I would most definitely have some issues with my most trusted partner to be "invaded" by another man. Again, looking at the sexuality part of nudity, most men like the idea of watching two women at once. Now according to society, that is ok. For some reason, it's ok for a woman to be with another woman, but when you have two men together, it's sacrilege. Just because it's not widely accepted as lesbianism. I apologize for the long and drawn out reply here, but I seriously think that you have nothing at all to worry about. It's eye candy for him, and who knows. He might be thinking of you in the pictured situation!!! I know I do with my fiance'. It makes for some interesting time with your partner. Ideas are great if used for the right purpose. And in this case, like I said. Coming from a man, pictures are always made to look better than they truly are. He is with you at a single glance. But the movie that the woman was in was probably make-up'd to death, and probably had to shoot the scene over and over because she didn't look so great at a certain angle! As for the breasts, every woman has them, and most are fake on the screen anyway. You are as real as they come, and that is what matters. Be happy with yourself, and I can guarantee that he will be happy with you!! No worries!

[sisterlynch]

The man was staring at a young woman on screen in front of his girlfriend and she was uncomfortable. She needs to be comfortable to be happy, NO? She needs to communicate her needs to her boyfriend, NO?

 

The rest of you are justifying him staring at a naked chick in front of her and she is uncomfortable? He cannot argue that she is jealous because he is uncomfortable with her looking at a naked man too! Am I the only one to see this? His behavior is making her uncomfortable. She cannot ignore her discomfort can she? She needs to start standing up for herself, obviously noone else will.

[Majere1972]

Well, well, well. Sisterlynch, I think you not only have the poets gift of exaggeration, but with misconstruance as well. DO NOT GET ME WRONG HERE

Again. Don't get me wrong. I am not trying to be a jerk to you, I just hate being accused of things that I have not and will not do. One thing that I am not is a liar, and one thing in my life that I will never do is give false advice, or try to run someone's life for them. Until you can see that, please, I ask, do not point the finger at anyone unless you know it for fact.

[sisterlynch]

1. Society cannot make moral judgements for each individual.

2. I am part of society and yet I want to make sure that young girls grow up with self esteem and not self doubt.

3. The only way that we learn to voice our opinion is by doing so, not by going with the flow.

4. If she lets him get away with not hearing her, she will be losing control of herself, grow dependent on him for her sense of self and she will end up doubting her own internal voice.

5. He will lose respect for her and find interest in someone that he cannot control so easily!

[michelle2003]

Hi erics gal,

 

I feel the same way as you when my boyfriend looks at another woman. We go to movies all the time where there is nudity or women who are half naked. It bothers me so much that I push him away. It bothers him as well if there is a half naked guy, but it happens so infrequently compared to female nudity, that its never an issue. We went to a movie last night in which there was a pair of lesbians (the movie wasn't about this...jsut happened to have this in it) which I know he likes the idea of....there were also other half naked women in the movie. The rest of the evening was shot because I was in an awful mood.....I didn't want him to touch me and try and reassure me. I hate the thought of my boyfriend being turned on by someone else. The thought of it consumes me sometimes (like last night) and I can't do anything about it. Realistically I know that naked men are attractive to me too, but it's not everywhere in our society like women are. I'm starting to realize taht I'm just going to have to live with it, but there are times when I dont' think I can. I've actually considered breaking up with him because I'd rather be alone than feel as though I'm sharing him. Lately I've come to realize that I would be crazy to leave him because of this, and I'm going to have to learn to deal with it somehow. Truthfully, I haven't figured out how yet.

 

So believe me, you're not alone.

 

Michelle

[Kitsy]

ok.. you didnt want HIM looking at the naked girls, so why is it a problem if he doesnt want YOU to look at the naked man? and anyways, of course ANY guys is gonna pay a lot of attention to girl's breasts! don't get me wrong, but you need to face reality.

[sisterlynch]

Love is a many splended thing!