advice on how to be your own person

[stormgurl10]

hi. i was wondering if anyone here had good advice about how to not grow clingy and still be your own person when you are in love. it seems the more you fall in love the more u want them. but you need your own life too. when me and my fiancee first got together i was my own person and liked it. but now im becoming more clingy. how do you stop that?

[sidehop]

Space is always needed, make schedule for yourself couple days out of the week and do things by yourself or with your friends (or families). Sometimes you get comfortable in a relationship and feel the need to be with your loved ones all the time but independence is just as important

[absinthe]

Why not find a new hobby, something that a friend and yourself can both participate in? This way, you can take a class together, so there's a weekly reason to go out. After the class, make it a habit to go for coffee or chitchat at one of your places, so you extend out the time and also, create a closer friendship.

[stormgurl10]

these are good suggestions. i like the fact we trust eachother so thats not a problem. i just want to be chased i guess.like make him after me more. instead of vice versa

[absinthe]

Hold it. Why do you want to be chased if you're engaged?

[stormgurl10]

i guess that came out wrong.lol. by chased i meant i wanted to renew things to make them more romantic like how he used to give me more attention then now. and i understand relationships go through phases. and u get less clingy. but idk.

[Emily100]

I have found that the best way to get my personal power back is to set a boundary. this is easy to do, just say 'no'. in other words don't jump every time he whistles. schedule activities in your life such that there are times that you are busy with friends or an interest group, whatever...even exercising...

[Kyoot_Panda]

Been thinking of making a similar topic, thanks!

I've been trying to schedule time away from him, on the weekends, I go see my mom and maybe some friends. He'll go out with his friends and sometimes we won't see each other for a day or two and communication becomes limited because we're both doing our own thing so when we do see each other he usually becomes the clingy one.

I try to hold myself back and not seem too clingy but it is hard sometimes. Don't ignore him too much or give him too much space, it could back fire.