getting over my insecurities

[ree4]

Hello everyone, I am new here.

 

I have been with my bf for about 4.5 years. He is my soul mate and I want to be with him for the rest of my life. Sometimes I get really insecure though. He has had many partners before me, like 50 or more. Sometimes this really intimidates me and makes me feel insecure. It really shouldn't though since I've had a few partners myself. When we first met he was getting out of a relationship. For the first 5 months he would go down to salt lake to visit his friends almost every weekend (I was never invited). I know that his ex was around also. I've talked to him about it and he says he never did anything with him...even though his ex tried. He stopped going down there and we've been so happy together ever since. We have a monogamous relationship and a very good sex life. it's been over 4 years but sometimes I can't get over that first 5 months. I'm always thinkin to myself that maybe he was still with his ex, and he's not telling me the whole truth about it. I've always been faithful and truthful to him and I know he is with me now, but I'm still not sure about that first 5 months. Is this something I need to just let go off and not think about or do I need to talk to him about it...I've talked to him before but he still says nothing ever happened. Maybe he's telling me the truth and I'm just messed up from all my previous boyfriends that have cheated on me with there ex's or others. but anyways, I don't know what I should do when I start feeling insecure about it and I start thinkin it was because of me. That I wasn't sexy enough or any of the other stupid thoughts that get stuck in my head. I don't know why I think these things cause I know he's super attracted to me. I drive him crazy as he does with me. but I just don't know if I should bring it back up again or how I would bring it back up or just forget it and know he's with me and not his ex and he loves me more than any other man has ever loved me. any advice would be great. sorry this was so long.

[laurag78]

I really think that you should leave it alone. Be happy for what you guys have together. You are just fueling a fire, by bringing that up. He is with you and he's been with you for 4 years. He's not with the ex. You should really just let it go. You know what it is, you think to much. Stop thinking of what did or did not happen, think about now and how much you love eachother. Focus on that and everything will be fine. Good Luck!

[ree4]

You are so right. I do just need to leave it alone. I havn't even thought of it for the longest time. Didn't think it would ever be an issue again. But we just bought a house and he switched jobs and I've been really stressed from so much change in our lives. I think that's what brought up all these insecurities in me. I'm feeling tonz better now and things are in perspective again. Thanks for listening and your advice, it really helped a bunch, and yes I do think to much sometimes...LOL.

[laurag78]

I'm glad to hear that things are better. Hope that everything works out. Good Luck!

 

P.S. CONGRATULATIONS on your new house!