need a how to guide on...

[Lost1]

i need a 'how to' guide on how to get a girl to go out with you in 30 days

and keep the relationship going long-term

 

and thats meeting her for the first time, asking her out, actually going out, charming her, then becoming bf/gf within 30 days

 

dont be mad at me... i just need a summer fling.. and if it goes well i dont have a problem with it being more than just a fling

 

its in summer school

 

im 15 years old

i've had 2 other relationships before (4 months and 10 months)

hmm.. i think thats it.. help please..

[QTpie87]

i don't think anyone here will be mad @ you. although you are looking for a girl for a totally wrong reason and think about it buddy how would you feel? thats just wrong. you are only 15 you said? well you have pleanty of time to find a nice girl you don't wanna rush it and try to go by getting a girl to fall for you in 30 days. you need to slow down! don't look for just a fling and don't go looking at all. if you go looking it will be 100 times harder to find someone you can actually care about and have a good relationship with. if your not looking they will just end up coming to you when the time is right. "when the time is right". just take a chill pill and go with the flow k hun.

well bye.

love QTpie87

[Derek]

LOL,

 

I know how guys like to be goal oriented and have things in point form,

direct and to the point and they don't care if their motivations are right

or not as long as the bottom line is met.

 

So I will indulge in male-speak:

 

First is a general rule:

- be confident in yourself, show this by your actions, by having a life, by having

interests beyond TV and video games, by having opinions of your own, by knowing about

the world, having a sense of humour about yourself and by being honest about yourself.

(i.e. "Yes, I still live at home and don't have a car yet, but I am working on it.")

It is possible to be a gentleman, to be confident and not be boring.

 

Now the next things:

- learn about the girls around you by talking to them as a friend at first, learn their interests.

Don't turn into a girly man, but as a hunter, you need to learn everything you can about the prey,

where they nest (starbucks), where they hunt (shopping mall), what easily distracts them (flowers and jewelry), what music or movies they like (Shrek 2), what they do for fun (videos,clubs,mini putt, cards, cooking, volleyball, Ultimate,...)

 

- advertise that you are single looking for a girlfriend, if the girls around you in class aren't what you are looking for, find out about their friends and sisters... ask them straight up,

"if you could pick the perfect girlfriend for me to talk to, who would it be."

This action can help narrow down the targets to girls with some interests in common that you can talk to and aren't psychos. Oh yes, just because she has a "boyfriend", doesn't mean she won't take on another one. Girls know how to hedge their bets and play both sides (with discretion for their reputation of course.)

 

- ok, so you have a target now, now what... Now you've got to narrow the focus, learn more details about her, talk to her and her friends, become friends with her friends. Pay ATTENTION to the little things, then show or tell that you noticed the little things about her so she knows you are paying attention to her and only her. Her friends are extremely important, their opinion can matter as much or more than her own. (girls are weird like that, but sometimes guys are too)

 

- Now that you've been approved by her and her friends as "acceptable", you need to separate her from the pack... the critical moment arrives... Does the friendship go to the next level or not? Asking her out is a way to get her alone formally, but you can also do this by simply asking her to

go for a walk, to make excuses to get her alone with you so you can talk about deeper things.

Seeing if you and her have a connection, a vibe. Get her digits, email and such. All the contact

methods can be used to continue the one on one connection with her. Pay ATTENTION to the little things about her that you learn through this time you insentive thick headed male oaf.

 

- Ok, so we assume she said yes to a few different "hanging out" alone times. Now you've got to follow up with little things. Notes, emails, text messages, and such. The idea is not what you say in those messages, but that you are thinking of her at different times in the day. Don't be a stalker though! Now you remember, you paid ATTENTION to the details about this girl before right?

You remember that she likes green stuffed lizards with yellow collared ribbons right? You remember

she likes the red M&Ms, so you go do little things like buy 5 packages of M&Ms, and by hand filter out,

only the red ones and give them to her in a ribboned present box or something silly and corny like that

because even though the modern girls pretend that they don't care, deep down girls love the romantic

attention. Don't sweat the guys making fun of you for doing that stuff, they would be doing

the same if they had a girlfriend. Any guy can do movie and McDonalds night after night and

call themselves in a relationship, but you have to do better than just "any guy".

 

- Don't let her walk all over you, have a life, don't always come at her every beck and call, just come to the important calls, she doesn't want a boy toy who says yes to everything, she wants a Man.

(Actually she may want a boy toy, but she'll need a real man)

 

- You are on the road from then on dude, and you'll have to make your own journey with her from there.

Either she'll have you, or you'll have her, hopefully you'll both have each other.

 

 

 

 

And the short version is as follows:

Find a girl, smile and ask her out to coffee/lunch the first day (moment even) you meet her,

if she says no, smile and tell her you can be friends for now and you will ask her out again in 2 weeks,

2 weeks later ask her out again, if she says no, tell her you'll ask her out again in 2 weeks...

She'll wear down eventually...

 

Persistence is man's best friend.

 

 

Ladies, correct me if I was off base.

 

 

 

[Lost1]

haha.. thanks man.. really helpful

 

and i know im doin it for all the wrong reasons.. but hey.. im young and dumb.. not lookin for long term stuff... ( mind you.. if the opportunity comes around im not gonna run away from it) but still.. i mean i just wanna have fun right now..

 

and any girls opinions on this?? if you met a guy.. what could he do to charm you and get you to go out with him in a short amount of time...

[mandylee4christ]

confused here.... do you want a fling, or something long term? Keep in mind comitting to something long term could be a mistake at your age. Lots happens after high school, just keep that in mind. Also, I dont think there is a guide. Some things you can't force. She either feels drawn to you or she doesn't.

[Lost1]

i've been in a 10-month relationship already (which is long term considering my age..)

 

rite now im lookin for a gf... doesnt matter how long or anything i'll deal with that once i get one.. but i just need to have fun with a gf right now.. im feelin in the mood for one and i need something to keep me busy for the summer

 

im not looking for anything in particular...

and thanks for your help everyone

 

do you know any tips/tricks/suggestions that would draw a girl to me..?

[naughtynnice]

compliments is for sure something that would draw a female to you. and dont talk like you're stupid. and when you do talk say something that's worth it. well, i'm 19, so i have different feelings towards the way guys should talk to me because i've been there and done that, but compliments should do the trick.

[Derek]

I thought about this some more, and I kinda forgot about tips for fixin yourself,

 

1. smell good. (girl's sniffer is almost as good as a dog's) Use some cologne, ask the girls around you which kinds they like best.

 

2. dress 1 notch better than the guys around you.

(So if they are all in ripped up jeans and that is the cool style, then you be even MORE ripped up jeans =)

(If the other guys are all in nice shirts and no tie, you wear the tie!)

If you are a notch above the other guys around that shows you care and you are a more valuable catch than them.

(If you are 2 or 3 notches above them, then you care too much and its a turn off =)

 

This includes bling bling like watches and jewelry and piercings and tattoos.

 

3. get your hair cut more frequently than ya are now. (I know how guys are) Spend more than 10 bucks on it.

 

4. get outside to get a little tan, a little sun, get your skin to look all healthy and athletic-like even if you aren't.

 

5. Whatever assets ya got, use them. You got a good butt, get jeans that work it. You got buff arms, wear a golf or T-shirt that shows em.

You got nothing but a charming sense of humor, do your best with the rest so they don't reject ya before you can bust out the charm.

 

 

That's all I got for now.

 

Oh yes, about compliments, don't tell a beautiful girl she is beautiful. She's heard that she is a perfect 10 from every 5/10 chump that comes up to her everyday. Compliment something else about her (clothes) and immediately compliment her insides (character), her outsides are old news to her. On the other hand, do tell an average girl she is beautiful...

 

It's all about the ego, get it?

 

 

 

[sublimination]

derek u the man