celebrating Birthday's??

[IWOKEUP]

 

Hi, I would love anyone's input.

 

My last b/f whom I met online and we eventually met and had a 2 year relationship absolutely loathed sending cards, gifts (I don't care about the value) and he would eventually send them after the special day. He could see how hurt I was which sucked because they lost their significance and I had to reveal how disappointed I was. I am a sentimental person and yes, cards and gifts mean a lot to me.

 

 

OK....skip to my new b/f...been chatting online for 6 mos now (and we plan to meet) and I have hinted that I would love to receive anything from him...card, even words on paper, picture, anything to have that is tangible. To me, this is a form of action that not only tells me his words are meaningful but he is willing to show me that he cares.

 

I have sent three different goodie bags with cards and although I don't count the cost, it really was my pleasure to do so, I have yet to receive anything from him?

 

My birthday is next week. If I don't receive anything, would you see that as a sign? could he be cheap? or should I chill and have to accept that some people don't care for gift or card-giving?

 

How would you react?? Just double-checking?

 

Looking forward to your replies!!!

 

Thanks!

[Silent Man]

Maybe a sign... only you will know what it really means though. Could mean he's lazy, not that kind of person, whatever. It's hard to say without knowing what kind of relationship you currently have.

[Mattyboy]

I've got to admit that I hate sending cards, I do send/give presents though but I don't wrap them just give them to the person in whatever bag/box it came in.

 

This isn't cause I'm lazy - I just don't agree with wasting paper... (yeah had the recycling argument before - and won so don't try!)

 

Personally after 6mths I'd be expecting something and would be annoyed if nothing did - even if it was something romantic like going for a meal.

[IWOKEUP]

Hi Mattyboy,

 

First of all we haven't met yet!!!! He lives quite far from me but we talk daily on the phone.

 

We are both saving towards a big trip together. He does have my address!! Home and business!

 

Do you think he may be possibly mean? I mean, if he has days off and can't even think about purchasing a card and stamp......

 

Do I sound like a whiner here? or do I have a legitimate point? Words like "I love You" and so on are wonderful, great but I've always thought action speaks louder than words.

 

 

[amaranth_04]

Sure, it's nice to receive something for your birthday, even if it's just a note to know they remembered. How close is your relationship (I know you've yet to meet) ? Sometimes, it could be to pace yourself just so you don't get hurt. What I mean is, do you think he feels since he's yet to meet you that perhaps he's not willing to go all out with exchanging gifts etc, sort of watch the emotional investment ? Even if that were the case, and esp since you've been chatting for quite a while, know the other's address and are planning on a meet, a card at least would be nice. Just to show they're thinking of you on your birthday.

 

If you don't receive anything, try not to write it off. Ask him about it, along the lines of ''you know, I'm rather sentimental and would have loved to have received something from you on my b-day.. nothing out of the ordinary, just to have something from you, to know you remembered...etc''.

 

Also, look into other aspects of your interaction. If he's considerate, this may just be one of the things that he doesn't see as a big deal. But put it to him that it's important to you and that should be enough to get him thinking of something to give you.

 

Keep in mind that money could be tight for him and that's a rather delicate issue to broach. An e-card in that case would be just as nice.