Advice on approaching/talking to girl

[stevo89]

Okay, there is this girl that goes to my school. I see her around campus sometimes, and I know that she's a freshman just like me. I've never talked to her before, no classes with her, and I don't know her name or anything. I wanna talk to her and get to know her sooner or later, but I don't know how. What would be the best way to introduce myself and talk to her? Oh yeah and she's really pretty (which should be pretty obvious to you guys anyways considering my interest in her).

[Silent Man]

Just stop her and say 'hey whats up' - Tell her your name, say something like 'what classes do you take?' or whatever comes up, keep it light and just get your foot in the door.

[diverp]

Exactly. Talking to women is the easiest thing in the world. Just be yourself, have some confidence without being a jerk if you know what I mean. A simple conversation is usually best. Give her a genuine, confident smile and just talk for a little while (a short time) about something you think she may be interrested in (if you are lucky, in time you will find out what she really is interrested in). Good luck

[sillychica114]

wow, is there actually a science of talking to girls!? seriously steve, ur dead sexy, u dont have to freak out about talkin to this hott chick. wow, some guys are really pompous jerks arent they "talking to girls is the easiest thing in the world" ha! what a fag! if he talked to me, id slap him in the face and walk off. just talk to her! be like 'hi, im steve, whats ur name' i mean seriously, what have you got to lose? and hey, if she blows you off, ill be willing to help ya out hun!

 

Laura

[diverp]

Not to monopolize steves post, but the reason some guys percieve talking to women as being difficult is precisely due to the way you worded your response to this thread. Abusive and assuming. It must be nice to have all the answers at the age of 14

[diverp]

One more thing for steve. I have had my share of dating "hot" women. However, nothing compares to dating a woman who is down to earth and caring. A teacher of mine once told me that it is alright to date hot girls. But in the long run you are better off being with a nice girl who is down to earth. I have dated a lot of women to finally find the one I am with now and am about to move in with. She is a find and is the nicest girl in the world. When you find that in someone, you will be very happy steve. As far as this girl goes who you are looking to chat with, I hope I didn't come accross as a player or anything. I simply meant that talking to this girl shouldn't be a difficult thing. Just go up and talk to her. You may find what you are looking for, but you won't find out if you don't try.

 

Good luck Steve.

[stevo89]

Hey man I know what you're talking about. I just want a cute, normal girl thats nice. My being single for a year is also the reason why I've also never kissed a girl. BTW, I'm 14 and a freshman. If anybody wants to see a pic of me, I have a few for you to see.

 

But yeah, some girls are really intimidating. But something that I realized is that those really cute nice girls end up going with dumpy guys to things like winter formal cuz they are the only guy that asked them. My Dad also recently told me that you just gotta ask out all the girls your interested in, and of course eventually one will go out with you and stuff, cuz chances are that there are probably plenty of girls that ARE interested in you but you just don't know it.

 

So I think I'll just go up to that girl and say, "Hey, my name's Steve. Whats yours?" and just talk with her and stuff, find out what kinda stuff she likes. Then whenever I see her again after that I can say "Hey [name]!". That sounds like a good plan, doesn't it?

[diverp]

Exactly. That is how it should be. I am 33 right now. I started dating when I was about 14 or so myself. I was a shy kid until I was about 18 or so and never really asked out the girls I should have. If I have learned anything, any girl (regardless of if she is really hot or your average girl next door) could say yes to going out. It comes down to a girl's personality, not her looks....seriously. The girl I am dating right now is very good looking. When I was your age, I would have never asked her out. However, as you get older (hopefully) you learn that nothing bad will happen by just starting up a conversation and the plus side (finding someone fantastic to spend your time with) is well worth "putting yourself out there". Sounds like you have a good plan going on. Keep it up.

[stevo89]

Yeah. My older brother is 19 now, but he lives out of state currently. In high school he didn't go out with many girls, but now that he's outta high school he's been going out with quite a few and now he's with a really gorgeous girl who is so nice and is a japanese model. So I guess I might as well try to make the best of my youth! There's nothing to be afraid of, and asking a girl out can't hurt since if you don't ask her out, you won't go out with her, and if you DO then you might.

[mollyfpo]

hi stevo,

all the advice that everyone has given you is really great stuff. the only thing i can add is never underestimate the power of humor. i know its turned my head nearly everytime, and made me consider someone i wouldn't have previously. there are a million opportunities in a day that present themselves that you can use to inject a 'what do you think this stuff is made of?' (with a smile) on the lunch-line, or a similar comment. just never resort to distasteful or low-brow humor, its not funny, and its off-putting. the same goes for making fun of someone else to get a laugh. well, just use your brain and be creative, i'm sure you'll think of a way to get her to smile.

good luck!

all the best,

molly

[stevo89]

Good idea! I'm a pretty funny guy to begin with so its not too hard for me to think up something that'll make people laugh. I can do the best voices and impersonations, and I'll go out of my way to do something crazy and stupid just to give my friends a laugh.

[baby_bratt15]

hey ok look you dont know this gurl at all but you think she hott ask around see if anybody knows her name. Then if you find somebody that knows her name catch her while shes walking to a class but make sure shes by herself. that way it makes the situation a lot easier on you. then intoduce yourself talk to her and get to know her better then when the time is right ask her out. but if she starts to act all cocky or self-centered just leave her be because she probably thinks shes to good for you anyways. But find out a little bit about her from other people to see if theres a topic to aproach her about.

signed

baby_bratt15

[stevo89]

hey ok look you dont know this gurl at all but you think she hott ask around see if anybody knows her name. Then if you find somebody that knows her name catch her while shes walking to a class but make sure shes by herself. that way it makes the situation a lot easier on you. then intoduce yourself talk to her and get to know her better then when the time is right ask her out. but if she starts to act all cocky or self-centered just leave her be because she probably thinks shes to good for you anyways. But find out a little bit about her from other people to see if theres a topic to aproach her about.

signed

baby_bratt15

I don't think she'd be the kind of girl who would act cocky and think she's too good for me, especially considering that I usually see her walking with one of the uhh largest girls I know on my way to 6th period wrestling everyday..

[baby_bratt15]

well then if she doesnt seem all cocky then go for it just find out what type of things shes into but dont make it seem like your a stocker or anything as some of my friends say "spit that pimp juice playa" lol but no just try to be a gentlemen about the whole thing

signed

baby_bratt15

p.s.

I know what your going through i was going through that with a guy that i liked.

[stevo89]

Yeah, one time I liked a girl a LOT for like a really long time so I tried to find out some stuff about her, but unfortunately I did it the wrong way and she thought I was stalking her and ended up getting mad at me. But I've learned from that mistake, and definitely the best way to find things out is just from the girl herself.

[baby_bratt15]

yeah my ex boyfriend who i went out with two times wont leave me alone and he knows i have a boyfriend and he still wont leave me alone. he hella follows me to all my classes and he wont even listen to me when i tell him to leave me the hell alone. It hella freaks me out plus he knows where i live and he knows what room is mine its hella like stocker statis. but you go back to school on tuesday right? well when you go back aproach her and be like hi my name is blah blob blah (what ever your name is ) i see you around the school and i think your cute.~~~~ or something like that ya know. but you gotta have some balls and just come out and tell her. but hey since i have a problem of my own im gonna ask you for advice on what i should do. Im bi and my family is totally against gays lezbians and bis and i dont know what to do. always have to pretend that im somthing that im not and it really bugs me. what do you think i should do? well i gotta go ttly

signed

baby_bratt15

Cali gurl

[stevo89]

 

Okay good idea, so I should basically just come out and tell her that I think she's pretty and stuff? I feel sorta scared and nervous.. What do girls think if a guy is sorta nervous if he goes up to her and says something like that?

 

Now for you're problem..you're bi? As long as you're not a full fledged homosexual your family shouldn't have a problem against it. But since they do, tell them that its who you are and that they need to learn how to freaking deal with it. You were born the way you are and there isn't anything anybody can do to change it (unless you go a labotomy or something, which are now illegal). So you're super religious (i'm assuming, so don't get mad at me if i'm wrong about that part) family should just deal with it. I mean like I could go and say some guy looks attractive, yet I'm totally straight, for example.

[baby_bratt15]

hey whats up nmh yeah some gurls will think its cute for a guy to be nervous but some will think it is hella unattactive. i personally think its cute. but it seriously might depend on what you look like.... i mean if your like a QB shaped then it wont be as cute as a babyface. but dont think about it and whatever you do DONT let your mind go blank that is so important because if you let your mind go blank and your gonna look like a total idiot so just becareful ok ok

well thanks for your advice on my problem i really appreciate it. well i gotta go ok bye

baby_bratt15

AKA cali gurl

[stevo89]

Okay what I think I'm gonna do now is gather up all of my confidence(yes, cuz I am sorta shy which is why this was posted here) and just go up to her and being like "Hey, my name is Steve. Whats yours?" then adding something along the lines of "I see you around sometimes, but I don't think we've ever talked before." with a possible compliment saying she's pretty thrown in somewhere then wait for her response and have a short conversation, etc. Something also interesting to note is that I'm literally like 10 feet away from bumping into her every day on my way to 6th period...

 

Does that sound like a good plan to you and is the "pretty" compliment alright to say?

[stevo89]

Heck, I have a better plan right now since its the end of the school year. I've come up with an imaginary conversation between me and the girl, and obviously it won't be exactly like this, but hopefully it will go something like this:

 

ME: "Heyy there, my name is Steve. Whats yours?" *wait for her response*

GIRL: "Ohh, my name is [girl's name]"

ME: "[girl's name] its nice to meet you"

GIRL: "Its nice to meet you too Steve"

ME: "Thanks. Well um, the reason I decided to come over here and introduce myself is because I've had a little bit of a crush on you for a while, and I thought since its almost summer I might as well just come out and tell you now before the year is completely over."

GIRL: "blah blah blah"

ME: " blah blah, So anyways I was wondering if I could get your number, so maybe we could hang out sometime over the summer?"

Then I'll just respond however according to her response and maybe exchange phone numbers or whatever if it ever gets that far.

 

My friend told me its best just to be as straightforward as honest as possible, and since its the end of the school year I have practically nothing to lose if it doesn't go through.

 

So anyways people respond with what you think and tell me if you think this sounds good or not. Keep in mind I'm a freshman in the 9th grade, and she is too. The last day of school for me is June 17th.