Best Friend and Her Husband

[libra smith]

Yesterday my friend decided that it would be easier to end our four year friendship them to listen to her husband whine and complain everytime she is around me. He is a truck driver and is only around on the weekends. I have always respected the fact that on the weekends they spend what little time they get to spend together they spend then I dont come around then. But we were around each other pretty much all the time other wise. She has 3 boys and I have 3 kids we do the mom thing together. She helped me through my recent divorce and I could not have done it with out her.I helped her to find God and Was with her family when her 3rd baby was born.Her kids call me Auntie. Mine her also. I feel hurt and like something is missing. I expressed to her that her husband should not make her feel like it would be easier to make this kind of change but she says she has to put him first. I can understand putting your husband first but i hope when i marry again that i dont end up with a man who would tell me I cant have my friends. She told me that she feels like she shares everything with me. Her family, her inlaws, her husband, her kids, etc. because we were so close that my kids called her auntie and her inlaws grandma and stuff like that. When my divorce happened her husband would change my oil and stuff like that. These things seem so minor to me and i feel like it is an easy way to submit to her husbands wishes instead of sitting down and talking to him about it. Maybe there is more to it. Who knows but I am hurt by it and most of all those children will be hurt by her decisions.what do I do know? I plan to respect her wishes but We go to church together. My kids will ask to see her. And we live 1 mile apart. It seems like a divorce all over again.

[Meow18]

I'm really sorry about what has happened. Her husband isn't being fair & I'm glad that you wouldn't put up with that. No one should be bossed around like that by their husband. It sounds like you both were really close & had a great friendship, I don't understand why she would do this either. If her husband is away & you let them have their time together when he is home, then I don't see why it should matter to him either. It's unfair to your kids & their kids too. It seems like they are all really close with each other & with you & her, so it wouldn't be right to keep them apart. I think you need to talk to her more about this. Try to get her to make what she's doing make sense. I think she's making the wrong decision here. Maybe there is more to it. Maybe ask if it would be ok to get together like 1 or 2 days out of the week & do something fun together. Try to get her to talk to her husband about this. If she doesn't listen, hopefully she will start missing you & your kids & maybe her kids will say they want to see you again & maybe that will make her come back. It seems like you both were so close, so I don't think your friendship is over forever. Just hang in there. Things will work out. I hope I helped.

[libra smith]

Today shes talking all kinds of bs about the reasons why she should not be around me. Her husband is number one in her life and if this decision makes him happy than thats whats important to her and all that matters. I can understand that but how weak is that excuse that you cant talk out the issues with your husband and make him understand that it is not ok to dominate your wife in this manor I am not doing any thing wrong in this friendship. I am not on drugs I am not a bad influence I am just an example of a strong women with a backbone. OOPs thats the problem a backbone maybe she should have got one and stood up for her self and not lost her friend of four years and her childrens auntie and spoke up on how she felt about him condeming her feelings and instead shes going to wake up one day and think whoa i lost a friend who was there thru thick and thin I cant say I can wait around thru this one, my feelers are very hurt. Can say that this decision has scared the bond we had. I can say I hope no man ever trys to tell me who i should be around and order my decisions I can appreciate opinions but decisions should be made on our own behalf, input very much appreciated.