Am I moving on..? (BIG UPDATE, ADVICE PLEASE)

[Something funny]

So, as I wrote earlier I arrived from Paris a few days ago to find an email from my ex. I hadn't heard from her in a month, and the email didn't actually contain anything special, basically she just wanted to see what was up.

 

Now I have this weird feeling. I don't really want to reply to her mail. I don't know what to write, I don't know what to tell her. It just feels really awkward. Sure, I guess I still really miss her, but.. I don't know, I just don't feel like giving in to her expectations and replying to that damn email. Maybe I should give her a call, but I dunno.. I don't feel like doing that right now. How about if I wait a few days, maybe a week, and call her then, maybe arrange a meeting or something?

 

I want to get back with her, but I'm afraid of trying and getting hurt if she just wants to be friends. Earlier, I was convinced that it was worth it, but now I'm not so sure anymore. But still, I want her back.. I guess I just don't need her anymore. Which also puts me in a better position to negotiate..

 

Ah, I'm rambling. Does anyone have any ideas, opinions or tips? Please feel free to share. I'm just really confused right now.

[kungfumaster]

Hi Something funny,

 

Wow - Paris eh? That must have been fun. I'm so jelous. Welcome back.

 

I don't have any advise, but just a comment. My feeling is that you are in a good state of mind. I hope when I come back from my vacation in the east one month from now, I will be in your position.

 

What I mean is, you wrote

 

I guess I just don't need her anymore. Which also puts me in a better position to negotiate..

 

To me, that sounds like you are doing well. Of course you still miss her, but you are now in a better state of mind to decide what you want and maybe even recontact her by emailing her back just to say hi back - no strings attatched. I think if you are ready for her to just want to be friends, you should email her back. Otherwise, I don't think you should unless you want to take a chance of getting hurt again like you said. Ooops, I guess that's advise. Sorry

 

Anyways, good luck my friend. Whatever you do, I hope you can do it with both your heart and your mind working together

Kung fu

[Something funny]

OK, major update..

 

I didn't reply to her email, and yet she called me today. Asked if I could watch her cats while she was going to New York. I really love those cats, so I just couldn't say no. I also suggested that we'd go have a beer sometime, she said "yeah, I'd really like that, when?" and I said, "I don't know, I'll call you".

 

And jeeeez, she sounded soo nervous. I've never heard her so nervous. Her voice was litterally trembling.

 

But I'm not going to read too much into this. She probably just needed someone to watch her cats (even though there are lots of people who'd want to do that..) and remembered that I really liked them. Or could there be underlying plans? Arhg..

[lisaria]

Hey Something funny,

I think that if she sounded that nervous, then she thinks she has something to lose. You may be in a good position right now. I hope so.

Lisa

[Something funny]

That might just be true. But I don't dare to hope too much. Maybe if I keep playing my cards right..

[GeeCee]

SomethingFunny

 

I do not want to be the voice of GLOOM, not at all. But I have been following your thread and know the heartache you have been through, along with many others here, self included.

 

So what to do, what to do. The break to Paris has done you some good, you have made a move forward, just as you do that, the ex comes crashing back into your life.

 

This can go one of two ways, really positively and forward, or youc ould stay exactly where you are. From my own point, I would need my ex to make a very VERY POSITIVE ACTION right now to take him back, and I would most definitely NOT have said that three months ago, two months ago, or even one month ago. I simply got tired of the mixed messages and the non-committal stance he was taking. This gave me hope, where there was little. And I got tired of it.

 

Just take care with your heart, and don't undo the healing you have done.

 

I hope that it works out for you and your ex.

 

G xx

[Something funny]

Good point. I should keep being sneaky and careful.