Is there something wrong with me...?

[UnknownSoldier]

Hey everyone,

 

This is an unusual question to ask, as no one here knows me. Perhaps with a bit of explanation people may be able to pin-point the problem (if any).

 

I'm a loner, for lack of a better word. I spend the vast majority of my spare time in my bedroom and, although I do talk to people, they're usually people I've never actually met in real life.

 

I do have real friends, but they never take the time to get to know me. I'm often called "sad" for staying at home all the time, yet I'm never invited anywhere or asked to do anything with them. It frustrates me to see all my friends going out and enjoying themselves, whereas I'm stuck at home doing nothing. =/ They know full-well I'm not the sort of person to organize a day out.

 

I'm polite, kind, funny, helpful, supportive, caring, respectful etc etc (so I've been told), and I rarely insult people or act disrespectful...yet people just seem to ignore me all the time and I don't understand it.

 

To be fair I'm quite upset by all of this. I just feel so alone and my parents are no help whatsoever. I've spoken to my closest friends about this but they could never really offer any advice, and now I'm just stuck with what to do. I don't really have any hobbies or interests, so I can't go out and meet new people. My interaction with females is practically non-existent, which makes me feel like I'm an non-datable guy (those that do talk to me regularly live too far away or, in some cases, other countries. I feel like a bad person, yet I know I'm not.

 

Am I too kind? Do people possibly get the impression I'm a "geek" or un-social? What could I do to make my friends recognize me more?

 

Don't know what else to write really...

 

I'm open to suggestions/advice. Just, try keep it friendly; advice which is rather critical of me has never really helped.

 

Thanks.

[stufftodo]

I do have real friends, but they never take the time to get to know me.

 

I would think real friends would definitely get to know you...if they don't, how are they real friends?

 

Are you a shy guy? That's what it seems like. It says you're 16, so you are in high school I assume. There's got to a person or two in your classes who you could hang out with. Just be like...hey lets see this movie. Put yourself out there. Waiting around for someone to ask you to hang out is just wasting time!

[randomgirl59]

No there's nothing wrong with you.

 

You just sound like an introvert. I'm an introvert too and prefer to stay at home. My friends also call me sad and emo and I'll play along with them, but sometimes it gets obnoxious.

 

let your friends know that if they're planning an outing that you'd like to come along and they should call you. You could also call them and ask them if they're up to doing anything. They may not be inviting you because they assume you dont want to come based on your introverted nature.

 

They best way to get noticed is to be outgoing. Talk more, laugh, crack jokes. However, if you're a quieter person by nature then why force it by being someone you're not? Maybe look for friends who are more similar in personality to you? Not saying leave the friends you have now or anything, just look to expand your circle of friends.

 

Keep in mind also that you're 16. Awkward teen years, etc. I'm sure you've heard it all lol. This may be just a phase that you'll grow out of as you meet more people, start talking to girls etc.

 

Hope this helped, and happy new year!

[UnknownSoldier]

I would think real friends would definitely get to know you...if they don't, how are they real friends?

 

Are you a shy guy? That's what it seems like. It says you're 16, so you are in high school I assume. There's got to a person or two in your classes who you could hang out with. Just be like...hey lets see this movie. Put yourself out there. Waiting around for someone to ask you to hang out is just wasting time!

 

Hey, thanks for the reply.

 

Yes, I am shy, although it's not "major" (if you know what I mean?). I can speak to people easily enough, my problem lies with how to start and continue a conversation...usually my conversations only last as long as the other person/people have something to say.

 

Yes, there are 2 people in my class who I hang around with between lessons, however neither of them invite me anywhere. I had expressed interest to see AVATAR with them, however I believe they've gone and seen it now.

[erase this face]

Rather than simply expressing your interest, ask them if they would like to see it along with you.

 

They know full-well I'm not the sort of person to organize a day out.

 

You don't have to organize an entire day. Simply setting a day and time to partake in an activity is all you need to do. Whether or not they oblige is a different issue.

 

You should probably get out more, whether it's socializing or not. Try to go somewhere low key; coffee shop, video game store, library, or just a walk around the neighborhood. Ask a friend to accompany you, and if they decline, go yourself.

[UnknownSoldier]

Thanks for the reply.

 

I do try and do the things you've suggested, but people just don't seem interested. =/

 

As for the "phase" thing, I try not to think about my future as I often think of myself as just being on my own all the time, but I do hope you're right.

 

 

 

Thanks for the reply.

 

I do go for walks around my town sometimes, but I'm always on my own. Unfortunately I don't have any close friends where I live, and those friends that I do have here wouldn't be interested in going for a walk. The library, video game store and coffee shop are all good ideas but, again, no one would be interested.