Need help (or a miracle) talking to a girl

[Stinkweed]

Alright. I can do some of those things. But I already gave her the letter, so she knows my name, and that I want to keep in touch. I wish I knew what's going on in her head. Well, I hope she doesn't say "Go to Hell", or something. But even that would be a lot better than just ignoring me. I just want to keep it simple, alright? I don't want to get tangled in a mess of words. I'll just say like abcd1234 said: "I hope I didn't scare of offend you with the letter". The rest will come to me in the moment, I guess. But an outline of what I would like to tell her would be: "I would love to get to know you, so what's your email?" and "We could then hang out some time together". Well, that's the general idea. I hope it works.

[pete35887]

just keep it simple. You got the general idea. don't just come straight out with "i would love to get to know you" or "we could hang out sometime" start out with little bullshit, small talk like i mentioned earlier. Make sure your not coming on too strong. Then east into the phone number/hang out part or the conversation. Don't make her think your hitting on her and go straight for the kill, that wouldn't be good in this kind of situation. Show her that your a nice guy first, and that your not a stalker

[Stinkweed]

Too late. I didn't see her today. I am almost sure she isn't her in school, because I have seen her friends, but not her. Maybe the stupid letter did screw everything up unrepairably. It's too late. I didn't see her today, and there is even less chance of seing her tomorrow. In conclusion, I will never see her, or hear from her anymore in my life. I'm so stupid.

[abcd1234]

Dont think that way, make the effort. If you really want to see her that badly then just find out from someone where she hangs out in her free time and then casually stroll down there as if you're not expecting her to be there and hopefully you can get talking.

 

Remember that there are plenty of girls out there, she is not the only person on the face of the earth who is ever going to make you feel this way, there are going to be plenty more! Just remember to learn from your mistakes so that you stand a better chance next time!

 

abcd1234

[Mix Maxster]

OK dude I've been sitting here for almost an hour reading your entire post and I have a lot to say about it. Ok first things first, you had put WAY TOO much pressure on yourself for it to work with her or for you to approach her. You said it yourself that people are surprised you never had a gf ever, you said you have girl friends (friends who are girls you said most of your friends have or have had a gf, you also said that she is different and you've also said that you thought she was getting the wrong impression of you. Ok you never really talked to her ever! I think the biggest thing that's stressing you is yourself, you've put way too much pressure on this thing, making yourself think that this is one of the biggest things you'll face when it's not.

 

You're in control of your feelings and emotions and you can choose to just say screw it to them and let loose, you have nothing to lose and others have been right in saying you should just go out there and do something about it. If I know girls they LOVE gosip and talking amungst each other about what's going on and what guys like them and stuph like that so chances are if they see you coming, they'll either tell her you're coming so she can move away or they'll split leaving her by herself (a good sign lol). Listen, it sounds to me throughout this entire thing that you want people to tell you to give up because we are giving you all you need to hear to just go out and do it. If you tell yourself you'll never get another chance again or tell yourself you'll amount to a loser or become a loner or whatever, then that's what you'll become. If you tell yourself who the hell cares about this one girl, I'm going to take my chances because I'll regret it if I don't, then isn't that worth it? Ask yourself if giving up is really what you want to do because it doesn't sound like it, but I'm getting that feeling because it seems you care too much about what she thinks. Who the hell cares, just ask her out. If she thinks you're a stalker, then she's just paranoid. Make your move, she knows how you feel now as I'm VERY sure she read your letter and I'm sure all her friends know about it by now and so really they're not so much strangers anymore. Don't let this bug you, don't let it get to you, don't let it eat you up like it obviously has eventhough it's easier said than done... is it really worth it? Most of the time it's just an invention of our own minds, grab hold of some balls and go take the risk!! You'll be rewarded either way, you either meet someone new and possibly making a gf or you become THAT much closer to finding someone. Don't you see? there's no such thing as failure if you look at it as being one step closer to success.

[pete35887]

yes...let your balls drop...lol

[Stinkweed]

It simply can't be impossible... I can't fail myself like this.

[Stinkweed]

Come one anybody. Any ideas? I can get her phone number from the student directory at school. Is giving her a call a good idea? I'm sorry if I sound impatient, it's just that there is a time limit (tomorrow is the last day, and I don't even know if I'll see her). Does anybody have any life-saving ideas? If you do, please post right now.

[Stinkweed]

Please, help me. I need to know ASAP. Tomorrow is the last day. Please, help!

[pete35887]

Once piece of advice would be to stop freaking out and being so obsessive. Number 2, if you see her do what we told you before

[Stinkweed]

I'm not being obsessive. It's just that I feel... Under pressure. You know, Now or never. What if I don't see her? I am prepared for "If" I see her. But what if I don't?

[Stinkweed]

Alright man. I'll do exactly what you say. It sound cool, you know. Well, the problem is not so much with picking up my balls anymore. It's more of not seeing her. I looked for her the whole day like crazy and dind't see her. Tomorrow I will look even more. If I see her, I'll talk to her, I swear. Thanks for your advice. I'll post and pm you when something happens.

[yeayeayea]

thank you man i know i just joined the site but i had a similar situation and did the exact same thing and i got the girl. Trust me just find her, ask ur friends if they've seen her, if they havent tell them to tell u when they do. its a lot easier with friends helping u.

[yeayeayea]

Resubmitting, because of language it got deleted.

Thank god i copy and pasted it just in case!

 

ok buddy this is do or die time

 

ive read your whole thread and this is EXACTLY what i want u to do.

once u get better and talking to girls ull figure it out yourself.

 

once u see her in the hallway, or anywhere as a matter of fact, say hi.

if she walks away forget her, but that wont happen cuz u gotta listen to my plan.

she'll say hi, probably a little shy but that's because of your letter.

 

say:

 

I'm sorry about the letter, i'm just a little shy you know..

*That is the line right there*

(a little shy is an understatement but lets forget that right now)

 

She might smile or say something like:

 

yea.. (if she's a blunt person)

it's ok (if she's more of a kind person)

 

Neither one means she hates you or any of that bull

 

Then say:

 

I was just wondering if u wanna..

 

Choose an option depending on your style:

 

Option 1:

 

Chill. example: I was just wondering if u wanna chill sometime

 

Option 2:

 

Hang out. example: I was just wondering if u wanna hang out sometime.

 

To make it even easier, if u like rap/hip-hop choose option 1.

If u like any other music choose option 2.

 

This is the moment of truth. And it should have taken you at max 20 seconds to get to this point but because of hesitation it took you weeks.

 

Tip: Act cool. No facial expressions, no nothing. Maybe a bit of a smile, actually yes, a bit of a smile when there is the pause between when u ask and she answers.

 

She'll say one of the various options or a slight change in either of these:

 

 

Yea sure.

Sure, why not.

Of course.

Sound cool.

 

Now is important...

 

ASK THIS:

 

You got a cellphone or something so i can call you later?

 

Say EXACTLY that.

 

If she says some like im busy then i congratulate u cuz u got to this point and u finally got the balls to say somethin and her and her friends will acknowledge that. (you can move on to her friends if u want)

 

CAREFUL. IF SHE SAYS NO. DONT WALK AWAY IMMEDIATELY.

SAY:

 

that's cool, ill see you around sometime.

 

When she say she has a cellphone she'll either find it funny u didnt ask for her number but asked if she had a phone and think ur a funny guy, or she'll say she has one and ask if u want her number.

 

That's my steps for you my friend.

 

Solve problem with her friends here...

Ok now i know u got a problem with her friends, and I also hate it when a girl has her friends with her but if it the second u see her with her friends it will b the last chance u have. Trust ME. IT is the LAST DAY OF SCHOOL. She will most likely b with her friends all damn day. So pick up ur balls from the floor and talk to her like her friends weren't there. When u mention the letter don't worry about it. Her friends probably know about it and girls think that stuff is cute anyways. Look only at her, unless one of her friends says hi and in which case say hi back and tell her your name.

Then u apoligize for the letter.

 

Here are the steps listed in the most positive way possible:

 

1. SAY HI. NO MATTER WHERE SHE IS SAY HI. IF SHE IS IN THE MIDDLE OF A THUNDERSTORM SAY HI. IF THERE IS AN EARTHQUAKE SAY HI. JUST DO IT OR ELSE I WILL SLAP YOU....

 

if i could lol

 

2.Say: I'm sorry about the letter, i'm just a little shy you know..

Give a little smile... That is key!

 

3. Whatever her answer is, unless she just slaps you, which wont happen, trust me it will never happen..

 

Say:

 

I was just wondering if u wanna chill sometime

 

I was just wondering if u wanna hang out sometime

 

choose the option that is more u..

 

4. When she says yes say:

 

You got a cellphone or something i can call u later?

(if she doesnt have one, ask if u should call her house, say: should i call your house number then? Follow thru with asking what it is.)

 

Tip: Don't worry about having a paper and a pen/pencil on you!!!

It looks cooler if u dont (dont ask why)

 

5. Your home free. You are the king. You are on top. Now if u wanna know what u should do when your going out just pm me or post another question. If u follow what i say I GAURANTEE u will get something out of her. This is the ONLY WAY i talk to girls, and yes i am your age so we have the same kinda situation.

 

READ THIS OVER AND JUST DO WHAT I SAY

and u should worry about it, cuz u want this chick bad,

so ur gonna work for it, heck skip classes if u have to,

tell ur friends ur looking for her, word will get to her quick and she'll stop avoiding u.

 

JUST PLEASE DO ME A FAVOR I TOOK 30 MINS WRITING THIS..

PICK UR BALLS OFF THE FLOOR AND FOLLOW THE STEPS.

 

and remember we love u lol.

[pete35887]

ya good luck man, fill us in immediately when something happens, i'm rootin for u.

[Stinkweed]

Nothing happened. She wasn't in school. I looked for her over and over again. This time I only saw some girls that occasionally hang out with her, not even the ones that hang out with her all the time. I asked a friend if she was in school, and he told me she wasn't. He guessed why I was looking for her, and was right. He said he knows her, and told me a bunch of things about her (He knows where she lives, and her screen name, which I told him not to give me yet, b/c of how she might react). So, I gave him my email, and he says he will help me, and will try to think of something and will tell me. I'm counting on him. But if he can't do anything, can anyone give me some advice? I found out her phone # just in case, but I hope I don't have to use it until she "gives" it to me. Please, tell me what I should do.

[abcd1234]

I wouldn't just call her up with the number that you got because she might think of it as rude or obtrusive due to the fact that she hasn't actually given it to you. If you can find a way to get it from her then that would be fantastic but i am unsure of how you can do this with her not being in school.

 

If she has msn messenger then you could get someone who has her address to invite you both into a conversation so that you can get talking.

 

Good luck mate

abcd1234

[Stinkweed]

Well, I also think about the phone call that way. And well, my friend, the one I mentioned earlier, said he has her screen name. He hasn't contacted me yet (I guess he hasn't come up with any ideas yet). But I know he will. I will give him my screen name (he only has my email). But lets say he does what you say. What should I say? I have not idea at all of what I should do if that happens. I feel kind of helpless...

[Stinkweed]

Alright, that's the best case scenario. Now lets get real. What if my friend forgets, or does it too late? I need to do this this week. What should I do? It's not that I don't trust him, but that I feel that if you want things well done, you have to do them yourself. Should I wait a while? Please, I'm running out of options.

[igwmuchas]

sooooooooo sry i havnt been on to reply i wish i could go back in time aaaaah! lol sry my internet was bein screwy again finals were stressful and my boss was being even more stressfull (had to do a catering party for 2000 people *ouch*) anyway. Deadeyes- for future reference (idunno if you will like this) but if she is with her friends going up to her and pulling her over to talk is not a bad thing and works very well, just going up to them and saying "excuse me ladies could i talk to soandso for a quick second" and just tell her what the past 30 posts talk about. (i dunno if this thread already talked about that i read back but i have trouble reading so things arent always clear to me) If you have her Email adress my feeling is that would be the best way to keep this going, and after a couple of emails ask her for her SN and then talk to her on AIM/MSN (whatever) then ask her for her phone # but when you get her phone # then u wanna ask her over the phone to hang out (my feeling is that is the best way "steps" to seeing her again and talking to her

make it clear to her that you think she got the wrong impression about you because that will/should sorta "break the barrier" of any "uncomftorableness" she has about you and will make her more open to getting to know you. Do you think her friends had any impact on how she sees you? You said her friend asked her Y she was stopping when you gave her the letter. and on some days she gives you a mean look and on other days you stare at each other. If they are affecting the way she sees you that would definantly be something to get over or talk to her about and letting her know the real you and not just what her friends say about you (if that made ne sense at all, sry im not good at explaining things) I hope to hear back soon and hopefully my internet will hold peaceout..............muchas.............

[Stinkweed]

Hey muchas. No, her friend was the one that stopped in her tracks and stared at me when I called the girl's name. The girl asked her Y did she stop (after all, she was acting kinda weird)? Maybe she thought she was intruding, or something (damn right she was, but how could she know?). Look, I don't necessarily want to start dating her, but I would very very much like to correct the impression I gave her. I would also like to have her SN, so we can keep in touch. But if I don't do something, I will never hear from her again, because classes are over and I'm moving (maybe for a year, or a little less, or maybe forever if I don't say I want to come back) early next week. Believe me, I would come back any day just to have much more of a chance any day, but it ain't up to me. So, I would just settle with just being her friend. Well, maybe I could ask her to hang out w/me as friends, one of these days. But well, school is over, and if I don't do something before I move, I will never hear from her again. Would the phone call be an option, even though I didn't get her phone # from her? Sometimes I don't think it's such a good idea, but sometimes I think it might depend on what I would say. Please, what should I do? It's not her fault. I was the one that freaked her out with the letter. I need real advice, not just to forget...

[igwmuchas]

well you know what you need to talk to her about- correcting her impression on you how you want to do it is up to you. personally (just my opinion) i would go with email and after youve gotten to know her a little better through that then its ok to ask for her SN or her phone #. i dunno if calling her w/o her giving you her fone # would b the best thing, might freak her out a little. email or SN is a little less "intense" for getting to know someone and a lot "milder" for correcting the impression she has on you. but thats my opinion. If anyone else has any other outlooks on this post them. again, its up to you deadeyes and how you personally want to do it. whats the deal with the friend who knows her and will help you with her? Is he helping, if so, do you want him to or is it helpful at all? (hope this post made sense) Peaceout..............muchas.........

[Stinkweed]

Well, he said he would help. But I'm afraid he will do it too late. So, what should I do? Should I ask him for her email? If I don't hurry up, it will be too late. What should I tell her if I get her email?

[Stinkweed]

I will get her email from my friend. But I still I'm not sure if that's what I want to do. I mean, a phone call is better b/c I will get an immediate reaction. On the other hand, it will cause her to freak out more than an email. So, what should I do?

[Million Dead]

still no from the letter?