Ok, so what should I do..

[Something funny]

I just came home from Paris and found an email from my ex. It's a semi-long email with her telling me about what she's doing now, along with some confusingly pointless anecdotes. It's pretty clear that she hasn't got much to tell me, she just wants to write to me (for reasons that probably can be found in the "why does the ex call?"-thread).

 

Normally, I'd just reply to the email, but I hate talking about things over email. I'm the kind of guy who wants to call up and talk instead of writing letters. It's like playing chess over snail mail, slow and cumbersome.

 

So should I...

 

1 ) Reply with an email (that's what I don't feel comfortable with)

 

2 ) Call her, maybe arrange to meet later

 

3 ) Not reply, leaving her hanging

 

?

[ryno5415]

i would do #3

i wouldnt go back to her

move on and forget the past

[Something funny]

Well, that's a possibility. Not quite along that lines I was thinking, though.

[coldcompress]

Hi SomethingFunny!

I have been following your story off and on and it's funny how our situations are so similar. My ex-gf of 4 years basically broke up with me 2 months ago, but has been contacting me and telling me she misses me and wants to be friends. I was her first love as well. I find it fascinating that people all over the world are going through identical situations without knowing each other...

 

My opinion on this situation is, it all depends on whether or not she knows you were gone, and what she is expecting you to do. I think you should have a good idea of it, since you are the ex-bf afterall. DON'T DO what she expects. That's my only suggestion. If she expects you to reply as soon as you get back from Paris, don't. If she expects you to call because you hate e-mailing, email her instead. Surprise her preconception about you.

 

The reason is this: why is she sending you an e-mail basically saying nothing? She wants reaffirmation from you, she wants to know that you are still there and she can still count on you being there loving her. The thing is, if you do reaffirm her about her ideas it would serve you no good; you would be right where you started. So I say instead surprise her, make her doubt about her own judgement and doubt about her understanding of you. When you do that she will be curious about your change. So I say go with either 3), or 1) if 2) is what she would expect you to do.

 

Hope that helps somewhat and take care,

coldcompress

[Something funny]

Ahh, you're thinking along my lines. That was actually another reason for me wanting to call - she'd never expect it. So actually, 1 is what she would expect me to do. 2 and 3 are the surprises. It's eerie how I still know exactly what she expects. She didn't know I was gone, basically she doesn't know much at all about "the new me".

 

Yeah, it's strange that other people go through the same stuff. You tend to think that your misery is unique, but luckily it isn't.

[raider5]

I'm going to argue for 1). I know you'll do two, but let me try and persuade you if your on the fence.

 

1)And email can be composed perfectly, you can take things back before you send it!

2)This is closer to No Contact than a phonecall if that's what you're doing.

3)Can't you tell her about the "new you" over email.

4)The only difference between phone and email is voice and your desire.

 

I sense you really want to arrange a meeting with her . That's why you didn't give a "only call" option.

 

Well people usually end up doing what there gut tells them. But I haven't been following your thread so I don't know if a meeting would be good at this point or not. Personally I would wait for her to arrange a meeting. But that's just me.

[just jeff]

Something Funny

 

I agree with you, keep her off balance... go with your gut... just my opinon.... good luck

 

Jeff

[Something funny]

I don't know. I feel so confused. Right now I don't even know if I want to contact her at all.