i saw her this weekend

[stillthere]

--Update for people who know my story--

 

I went out this weekend with my friends and run into her twice. First we went out to a bar on Friday night and I saw her there with her friends. I didn't wanna look at her or have any kind of contact but I could see that she was looking into my direction. After we left that place we went to another bar. After couple of minutes they showed up at that bar, too. At that bar she didn't sit next to him (the new guy) and she was looking the whole time into my direction. She didn't look just once or twice….she was looking the whole time into my direction. I was just trying to seem/look very happy and I smiled the whole time. I didn't want to let her know that I am suffering inside of me. After 40 minutes or so I couldn't stay there any more. She was still looking at our table and I didn't want to stay any longer. The day after I met a her friend. She was with her and her boyfriend at that bar, too. I was asking her if she saw that my ex was looking the whole time at me or was it just me. She said that she saw that, too and that they tolled her not to look that much at her ex.

 

I just don't know what's going on in her mind. She choose to be with that new guy but when she sees me she is looking like crazy after me. I don't want to email her, because I am afraid she is going to lie to her friends again how I am trying to get her back and stuff. I know if I want to forget about her I may not thing about her but when I see that she is looking for 40min at me and observing me I don't know what to do.

 

Now I am trying to get busy with another girl and hope to go over my ex trough that.

 

Thank you so much,

 

Stillthere

 

There will be a day which is going to bring sunshine into my life.

[Gilgamesh]

you did good, by not going over to her or start sulking out. I think she was more interested in seeing how you are reacting, so that she can see how much power/effect she has on you. its an Ego thing.

 

If something like that happens again, be yourself, be cool, dont be obvious or put on an act, its gotta look natural, also when talking to her friends, asking something like that, you should ask in a tone of "whats wrong with that girl, that she keeps staring at me all night" attitude, this way your her friends wont go telling her you were interested in her and that will give her the wrong impression that she still has that hold on you.

[cookies]

see...not everyone in this world thinks alike...

 

As a female myself, i can honestly say that if she kept looking at you, she may still care for you deep inside her heart. She could be missing you so bad, with thoughts " wow, he is so handsome,...umm...i wish he could hold me right now"...but it hurts and she´s probably afraid to let u know how she feels, thinking that she will embarrass herself if she confronted you in how she felt. Especially seeing that you appeared to be happy without her in ur life. She doesnt know how terrible u feel inside, she only knows what she "sees"...and u did appear to be happy...

 

But why suggest games over what someone feels in their heart, when the situation isnt violent or ended on real bad terms?? They both clearly still care for one another...

 

This is what upsets me, is when ppl think so negatively and give wrong advice to others,...because it simply does NOT stand true in every instance. If I had seen a guy i like twice in the same night..i would look at it as if.ok God may be giving us a sign or chance to work this thing out...after all, u know what ur feeling,...she knows what she is feeling...

 

why does it always have to result in ppl playing games with the other? PPl that have been hurt seem to give advice on staying away..or playin games...but that is not always the solution.

 

If i could act upon how i truly feel,..yes i would approach a guy that i like, but i just dont have the courage..and on top of that, with friends saying stuff like this..or advising him to "act happy", is lyin to himself, and makes me back away...with neither of us tuning in with OUR TRUE feelings...

THIS is when we wind up losing out on something we really want, because we dont trully follow our OWN hearts...

 

but if u ask me...she may be dying inside just as u are....and was cryng inside and praying that you would AT LEAST smile at her...and gone over and gave her the most loving hugg...even if it would have been only to say...

 

we may not be toghether, but you are special to me and we will be friends always...

 

anyways...everybody gives great advice because they wish the best for you..but in the ending results you must decide which works best in accordance with what you desire...

 

Please...what ever you do..learn to gowhat works for one person...may very well NOT be the advice you need...for each situation is different. Fear is nonexistent, an enemy we create in our own minds...but we allow it to hold us back from so much in life...

 

you have to trust me on that...

 

cookies

[stillthere]

yes my friend you are right...but she was palying games with me for at least 4 months...

[cookies]

well ok..in that case, what i said did not really apply to her situation,..but i spoke in behalf of the girls that does not fall into that category...but because of fear, can be easily misinterpreted...

 

i wish u the best regardless...

 

 

 

cookies

[stillthere]

after i was done reading your message i tought for a minute and i tought i will email her but then i remembered all the things and everything what happened and the double rs that she had and i said to my self no no no

 

but thank you for your honest opinion and you are right ...

 

stillthere

[shoobs]

BE strong!! whatever you do, DO NOT CONTACT HER!! if you play disinterested then she will TOTALLY fall for you! thats the way women are! i did it with the girl in my previous posts and now she almost begs for attention.

 

remember, be strong!

[stillthere]

ok i'll be strong...i am not goint to contact her no mather what happens but i have few questions

 

do you think she is really going to contact me i mean tomorrow it's going to be second week that we didn't talk after i left her that "rude" message

 

do you think she is going to contact me, because she has that new guy that makes her laough and that is better than i am

 

i don't think that she is going to contact me because with the time after the 3th 4th week she will get used to the new guy and everything will fade out...what do you think gusy after what time it's really over...

 

my friend i'll be strong and i am not going to contact her after all what happened...

 

thanks all now i need your feedback

[Gilgamesh]

To cookies,

 

Iam not always negative in my reactions, but in the first post in this thread, "stilthere" mentioned how his ex used his calls as a way to boost her ego and even used "lies", by flabbing to friends, thats almost like making fun of his emotions.

 

Advice is only as good as the facts given by the person asking for it, but its also important to read all the facts given by the poster.

 

To Stillthere,

 

i still believe from the info you have given, that shes playing games with you, and even if she was to drop the other guy all of the sudden, and come back to you asking for forgivness, whatever, would you trust her?

 

I understood your original post, you did try and make casual conversation with her, and she used that to hurt you and make fun of you, I can understand you not wanting to "risk" being hurt again by this woman.

 

There are plenty good women out there, dont loose faith, shes out there for us, its just a mater of being at the right place at the right time, just like everything else in the world.

 

Good luck!

[cookies]

i understand your point...and the information he provided, and as i said before..not all women are alike. There are some wonderful women in this world, which the above simple does not appy to and i felt the need to share this with him, to encourage him in the right deciding factor that works best in his favour...which he seemingly has...

 

however had nothing to do with my not interpreting the advice...but adding light in a different perspective...

a woman´s perspective...

 

peace

 

cookies

[stillthere]

Gilgamesh,

 

there is never ever going to be something between her and me (a bf/gf relationship). You are absolutely right...how can i trust her anymore...i mean she lied and did so many things behind my back that i would not be able to trust her any more and without trust we all know there is no relationship...

 

the fact is just that i don't understand why would a person break up (like she did) go with an other guy and still look at my like she did and i guess try to see what i am doing etc. my friend and at the same time her friend talked about her for a while on the phone....we got to the conclusion that my ex loves to be in attention...she has to be in the middle point of something... she has to be surrounded by guys who tell her how beautiful she is i know everybody loves to be loved etc. but in this case it's a sickness.

 

and as Gilgamesh said i wouldn't be surprised if she would dump this guy to come back to me all of the sudden.. maybe it's better for me that she doesn't contact me... i just don't know and i am asking my self she was never that strong before she always called me at least 9 days after something happened know exactly today it's going to be the second week that she didn't call me or emailed me

 

i appreciate all of your feedback

 

stillthere

[Gaeltick]

Seems to me you are both playing games. I've had a similar experience, this man kept coming on to me and when I would return it he would run. I think he liked knowing I liked him but didn't want it to escalate, I did unfortunately, and on three occasions tried only for him to disappoint me. The thing is their was sexual tension between us, but nothing ever got done about it. In the end we both got nothing, except he knew I liked him mega mucho, and I think I at least rolled his socks down. I had never been as attracted to anyone as I was to them, and the attraction was paralysing. This is one of my few regrets in my long life, listen to an old lady and do it. What is the worse that could happen? You break up again for good with no regrets and sweet memories. Good luck.