At the start of it all.....

[kipster]

thank you again for your posts. its very calming to read your posts. I got through the first day without contact. I feel terrible. all i want to do is send her a message, telling her how much i love her, how much i would love to see her right now. but its not right. I know this. but it is soo hard.

 

The first day for me was the worst as well. Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, etc. That's normal, but remember you will become stronger. I guarantee it. Its been about 1 month and a half for me and of course you still have re-lapses but no problem eating or sleeping. You just have to use your noggen and it will work out. And never lose faith and belief if this is indeed your soulmate. No one said it was going to be easy, nothing in life you truly want obtain is. But you have to believe that you WILL OVERCOME THIS OBSTACLE IF YOU HAVE ANY CHANCE OF DOING SO!!! I'M TELLING YOU IT CAN BE DONE! ITS BEEN DONE MILLIONS OF TIMES BY OTHERS, AND TWICE ALREADY BY YOURSELF. You broke up with her, and DID SHE COME BACK? YES! So what makes you so sure this is it? She already has a history of changing her mind on important decisions (i.e., whether to stick with you in the past) so why should this time be any different?

 

I have to give her space. and i have to control myself to get her back. hardest thing i will ever do. ever.

All i do is think about her. If shes off with this new guy, having fun, laughing, touching, like we used to do.

Not a care in the world for me. Happy that ive finally got the message, its over. good ridince.

I have to stop beating myself up like this, but the possesed man in my head forces these words to my fingers.

I'm seeing a counceller tomorrow. if i could see one now i would. I know that i need help, and lots of it. Everyone has been so supportive, and i thank every one who has cared to post in this thread, god bless you all. thank you.

 

Its natural to think about her. That's completely normal. In fact, IF YOU DIDN'T THAT WOULD TELL YOU JUST HOW MUCH SHE REALLY MEANT TO YOU (I.E., NOTHING). But its only OVER, if that's what you choose...Remember, this is your choice whether you want to stay or go. And as you become stronger, you'll see just that.

[catter]

Day 2, and i'm still wondering around, soul-less. I played football today with my club, and could not get a touch of the ball. I didnt want to be there. First time in so long that i didnt want to play my saturday football.

Its so depressing that i almost cryed in front of my team mates. on the field, in the middle of the game.

The hurting just does not stop. All the possibilities, what if's, just driving through your mind. I sat near a couple of girls after the game watching another game, and they smelled like her. The scent of the beautiful woman i love so much. It made me cry.

 

Its only been two days since the fateful night, and i'm wondering if i should send flowers, try and talk rationally with her, make a damn effort to get her back. And stop this no contact thing. I'm thinking that she might think that i am over it now, moving on, no bothering to try and get her back. Even although the strong words of that night keep repeating in my mind. "Its over" "no hope" "i think you should leave now" "i dont love you anymore".

Will another bunch of flowers, or a rose to her doorstep each day work? or does that still look like i'm desperate, and drive her further away.

It a decision i have to make now, try to get her back through love and affection, or no contact, and hope for her to miss me.

[Something funny]

 

 

No flowers, no roses. At least not for a while. Both you and she need the no contact. I know exactly how you feel, but you must remain strong. The scales will tip in your favor later, but you MUST be patient. As I said, I know how you feel, even though it seems impossible. I'm not a guy who cries, but after the day I was dumped by my ex, I couldn't hold back. I cried for days. But it gets better; soon you'll see things more clearly and you'll know what you have to do. Just be patient!

[catter]

I sent her a message last night, end of day 2, told her about my terrible day at the football, and how much i was hurting. She replied with "i know, i'm really hurting too"

 

And today (day 3, i sent her this message "was wondering if u would like to go to the movies tonight, and just have some fun together. love always ryan xx" She replied with "sorry babe, i dont think that would be a good idea"

 

I just cant stand back and loose her over a no contact period. because i know what will happen, i'll loose her forever. Shes a gorgeous girl and she will find someone else. very soon.

It hurts sooo much i cry all the time.

I'm going to see someone in the next two days, and tell them about my troubles and what to do. A counseller, hopefully thr hurting will stop.

I sent the movies message today to try and make her know that i'm thinking about her, and want to do something fun with her. No more crying and pleading. I pretty much didnt expect a response.

Anyone seeing anything that i'm not? From reading my posts you will see the whole ordeal, from the start to now. Has anyone beaten this feeling? or got any ideas as to what i should do next? mabye i do have to start the no contact period. mabye i have to keep trying to get her back with gifts and flowers? i was thinking about writing her another letter, describing how much i am going to change, and prove it with some actions i have made.

[tiger_lilies]

Gifts and flowers are not going to make her second guess her decision. Even though she's hurting as well, she's made her decision. It's too late for you to promise her glories of change. It will not work. You contacting her will just drive her away. She said some really hurtful things to you, things that sound to me like those are her final thoughts. You must leave her alone and work on yourself. I know that's harder said than done, but it's the only way my friend.

 

Trust me, I've been/am in your shoes as well. I know the pain in unbearable. But I'm glad that you were able to go to you Saturday football game, keep going, even when you don't feel like it, force yourself to go. It'll give you something to do and eventually will get your mind off of her for a few hours. Take care.

[catter]

hello to all again. its been two weeks since the night she called it off, and i'm pleased to say that things have changed a bit.

The first week was pretty usual, no real contact, and a lot of hurt for me.

This second week, things has changed a bit, and mostly through myself trying to get on with things, and try, TRYING real hard to be happy again. She called me the other night, and i did my best to sound as happy as possible, and not say anything about how i felt, or what has happened. It seemed to work, as she said that she was happy to hear myself being positive and getting better.

She invited me over to her house last night, and as nervous as i was, i tried to stay calm, not talk about our relationship, and try to be happy and my old self again.

We had good chats, and she eventully hugged me and showed some of that touch and sensitive side she has. It was a great feeling to feel her hug me again, and show emotion towards me. When i was leaving she said that she didnt want a relationship just yet, that shes better off single.

I respected that, and did my best not to show too much disappointment, and left. She did say that she wants to catch up again, and do some fun things together, as friends i'm guessing. Does this sound familiar to any of you who have been through this before?

 

Is it a start in the right direction? or is it a step towards a friendship that i could not handle?

 

I suppose looking back, if you read through my posts, its probably a great sign seeing how she felt two weeks ago.

I'm still trying not to send many text messages, and give her space, but at the same time i want to buy her things, and try to see her more often, showing her my change. I dont want to loose her, she is so beautiful.