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hello to all again. its been two weeks since the night she called it off, and i'm pleased to say that things have changed a bit. The first week was pretty usual, no real contact, and a lot of hurt for me. This second week, things has changed a bit, and mostly through myself trying to get on with things, and try, TRYING real hard to be happy again. She called me the other night, and i did my best to sound as happy as possible, and not say anything about how i felt, or what has happened. It seemed to work, as she said that she was happy to hear myself being positive and getting better. She invited me over to her house last night, and as nervous as i was, i tried to stay calm, not talk about our relationship, and try to be happy and my old self again. We had good chats, and she eventully hugged me and showed some of that touch and sensitive side she has. It was a great feeling to feel her hug me again, and show emotion towards me. When i was leaving she said that she didnt want a relationship just yet, that shes better off single. I respected that, and did my best not to show too much disappointment, and left. She did say that she wants to catch up again, and do some fun things together, as friends i'm guessing. Does this sound familiar to any of you who have been through this before? Is it a start in the right direction? or is it a step towards a friendship that i could not handle? I suppose looking back, if you read through my posts, its probably a great sign seeing how she felt two weeks ago. I'm still trying not to send many text messages, and give her space, but at the same time i want to buy her things, and try to see her more often, showing her my change. I dont want to loose her, she is so beautiful.

I sent her a message last night, end of day 2, told her about my terrible day at the football, and how much i was hurting. She replied with "i know, i'm really hurting too" And today (day 3, i sent her this message "was wondering if u would like to go to the movies tonight, and just have some fun together. love always ryan xx" She replied with "sorry babe, i dont think that would be a good idea" I just cant stand back and loose her over a no contact period. because i know what will happen, i'll loose her forever. Shes a gorgeous girl and she will find someone else. very soon. It hurts sooo much i cry all the time. I'm going to see someone in the next two days, and tell them about my troubles and what to do. A counseller, hopefully thr hurting will stop. I sent the movies message today to try and make her know that i'm thinking about her, and want to do something fun with her. No more crying and pleading. I pretty much didnt expect a response. Anyone seeing anything that i'm not? From reading my posts you will see the whole ordeal, from the start to now. Has anyone beaten this feeling? or got any ideas as to what i should do next? mabye i do have to start the no contact period. mabye i have to keep trying to get her back with gifts and flowers? i was thinking about writing her another letter, describing how much i am going to change, and prove it with some actions i have made.

Day 2, and i'm still wondering around, soul-less. I played football today with my club, and could not get a touch of the ball. I didnt want to be there. First time in so long that i didnt want to play my saturday football. Its so depressing that i almost cryed in front of my team mates. on the field, in the middle of the game. The hurting just does not stop. All the possibilities, what if's, just driving through your mind. I sat near a couple of girls after the game watching another game, and they smelled like her. The scent of the beautiful woman i love so much. It made me cry. Its only been two days since the fateful night, and i'm wondering if i should send flowers, try and talk rationally with her, make a damn effort to get her back. And stop this no contact thing. I'm thinking that she might think that i am over it now, moving on, no bothering to try and get her back. Even although the strong words of that night keep repeating in my mind. "Its over" "no hope" "i think you should leave now" "i dont love you anymore". Will another bunch of flowers, or a rose to her doorstep each day work? or does that still look like i'm desperate, and drive her further away. It a decision i have to make now, try to get her back through love and affection, or no contact, and hope for her to miss me.

thank you again for your posts. its very calming to read your posts. I got through the first day without contact. I feel terrible. all i want to do is send her a message, telling her how much i love her, how much i would love to see her right now. but its not right. I know this. but it is soo hard. I have to give her space. and i have to control myself to get her back. hardest thing i will ever do. ever. All i do is think about her. If shes off with this new guy, having fun, laughing, touching, like we used to do. Not a care in the world for me. Happy that ive finally got the message, its over. good ridince. I have to stop beating myself up like this, but the possesed man in my head forces these words to my fingers. I'm seeing a counceller tomorrow. if i could see one now i would. I know that i need help, and lots of it. Everyone has been so supportive, and i thank every one who has cared to post in this thread, god bless you all. thank you.

Ive come t think that after everything i have done to her, there is no reason that space and time will make her miss me. That is the vital ingredient for the time off period, miss. She watns to move on, leave me behind after 2 and a half years. Like she said in her letter, start fresh. I can only think that this time will only make her further apart from me, not closer. I looked into her eyes last night, and i didnt see any of the love that there once was. none. She has finally had enough. We have broken up twice in the past, and gotten back together, but i was the one taking the time off, and i never pushed her away to the state that i did this time. This is the hardest thing i will ever have to do. Not only did i loose the one person that has been there for me through all the years and tough times, but i pushed her away myself. It was me. She wanted me several weeks ago, but my depression left her with no option but to move on. I feel so stupid, all the signs were there. I had so many chances in those weeks to make it up to her, all i had to say was that i loved her. but i didnt. And now its over and its all my fault. I'm not the best at meeting new girls, and meeting her was what i believe was fate. But its over. Should i try and move on now, block her out like i did the past month? Or still believe that there might be a slight chance that she may miss me.....that seems so far away its killing me. My father is coming down today to console me. driving two hours, but i'm sure that once he is gone, it will be back to square one. back to being lonely, and wondering how i could have been so stupid to let her go. The hurt almost drove me to suicide last night, i was driving around, and i was so tempted to ram into a tree. But i also thought of the hurt it may cause to others, and fought it off. barely. I'm going through constant ups and downs. One minute i'm reading what i should do and thinking about myself moving on, next i'm wallering in the thought of my own stupidity and selfishness. I have told her over and over that i would do anything to get her back, but not even that could raise a single heartbeat of love. She said shes fallen out of love with me. and i must accept it, even if it kills me.

what should i do if she rings or send an SMS message to my phone? Its the next day, and im not sure what to do if she does. Should i try and be strong, even although i was the worst weeper on the earth last night? wouldnt that show that ive moved on and gotten over it in a hurry? Thank you again for your comments. I understand everything you say. I'm really trying very hard to stay positive here, but so many negative thoughts keep entering my mind. kimpster everything you have said has made sense and i'm sure is the right thing to do. thank you again.

There is one other thing. 3 days ago when she said it was all over, She also said there was someone else. been seeing them for 3 weeks. She told me in her letter that she stopped seeing this person, as if was unfir on them to go through our breakup stuff. I'm not too sure what to think of it all. On the phone and in person last night she also said that there was nobody, so mabye there is no one? But perhaps she has just said it to calm me down more, and try to make it a lot easier for me. I feel more that way. I know its negative, but i can also see that reason for her sudden loss of love and affection for me. Its now been drained, and given to someone else. Its shattering, and the next morning, i'm still a wreck.

Kipster, that was an awesome message, and something i think anyone looking to get back an ex should read. It is about staying positive, and trying your best to think straight about the situation. I'm only several hours into this, and its very difficult for me to think straight. She always loved me deeply throughout the whole relationship, more than i would ever know, but to see her show very little pain and emotion, and touching for me when i was crying and pleading in front of her, really hits home that she no longer really loves me, "i do love you, not in that way anymore" was the quote. Its very early days, i can only hope that after a few days/weeks of little contact that she starts to miss me, and mabye want to talk. But i do hold very little doubt. I'm trying to believe that i can get her back, and i want to believe, but its sooo hard. I hope you do succeed with your ex, as i'm sure she is a very special person like the girl i once had.

All of your responses have helped me out a great deal from the state I was in before I posted. I thank you all dearly for this, you are all great people, you really are.

I can feel your hurt. I'm going through the initial stage right now. And its killing me. I got the same response tonight, "no", "its over", never again". I can only say that we are in the same boat. Your not alone, and i'm hurting just as much.

thank you again for your comments all of you. She wrote me a letter, and gave it to me with the bad news. Afterwards came the crying begging, and everything else you already know about. She did write that she loved me, "but it was too late and i need a fresh start" kipster, thank you for the advice. You make me feel as if i can do it. I can get her back. But its very hard to thaik that after what i heard earlier tonight. From reading all the posts about getting back together with someone, it seems i need to let her have time. But it also could work against me, as my absense except for the last few days is probably normal to her now. She really knows that i love her so much, and that i made a big mistake, perhaps now some no contact time might help.

I wrote her a very heartfelt letter woobiegirl, and put in with a bunch of expensive roses and left it on her doorstep the other night. I explained everything, how i was clouded by depression, and that now my eyes are open, and how i really felt about her in great detail. But tonight she still said no. It will be of very little sleep tonight. I begged, cryed, and she still said that there is no chance of us getting back together. I'm crying writing this, here i am 24, trying everything to get the girl of my dreams to come back. I think its over, and its killing me. I want to believe that it could happen again, and thats probably the only thing keeping me from jumping off the west gate bridge right now. thank you all again in advance for anything you can say.

Thank you both dearly for your comments. It means a lot to me. This has only happened over the past 3 days, so i'm up at 3:33am here writing this message in desperation to try and do something that might make me feel better. Cant sleep, anxiety attacks and crying are killing me. I do know truly that she is the one for me. Especially now. It may look selfish that all of a sudden i want her back after 5 weeks of neglection, but how i'm feeling now, has showed me how much she really means to me, and its more than anything else in the world. I feel so stupid, frustrated and angry at myself for letting her go. Its the biggest mistake of my life. I would do anything to get her back. anything.

Hello to all the people out there in my position trying to get the ex gf back. here's my story. I took my girlfriend for granted. She loved me deeply and i always had the upper hand in the relationship. We were together for around 2 years. right towards the end, i got depressed with my own life, and blocked her out of my life. She did everything to snap me out of it, make me feel better but i just pushed her away. Didnt return phone calls and messages, stuff like that. I hate myself for it now. How i would love to go back in time. Just 3 days ago we caught up, and she told me it was over. I was totally shattered. After my weeks of poor contact and depression, she had cried herself to sleep, and eventully gotten over me. She told me tonight to move on, it would never happen again. I am in total upset status, anxiety, crying for long hours, and depression. Ive told her over the past 2 days how much she means to me, how much i want her back, crying, but nothing. she has stood firm. Should i start the process of no contact? after she told me to move on and that we should not communicate ever again? or will that just be ending it more. any feedback would be most appreciated. ryan.