What if I fail my class?

[acfan]

Hi, I posted earlier about an online class that I am struggling in and now I am in fear of failing it. The course is graded on a point system and I fear I have missed so many points that I will not be able to catch up and pass the course. I have scheduled an appointment with the instructor, my counselor and the writing cennter tutor to see if I can pull it out. I am considered a junior (non traditional student, I'm 43) and have only failed one other course because I could not drop it because I would lose my grant money. I get tuition reimbursement from my job and I would have to pay for the course if I do not pass it as well. I am also in a fear paralysis. I just do not want to deal with it and keep putting off doing the work. I work nights and have for years, but I am really tired and can not do the work except on my off days which is when the deadline is. I have one other class that I'm doing fine in. So, has anybody ever failed a class at this level of college? What did you do and how did you handle it?

[DadaJones]

I was once on a super extended-probation with a 0.88 GPA...I went to college for 8 years, never graduated, but got a heck of an education...theres always a way in college...a note from a doctor/counselor, family hardship...put it in writing with a nice letterhead and you are in...welcome to the Ivory Tower!!!!!!!!!!!!

[uglyduckling]

Well here's the thing, whether you want to deal with it or not, does the situation go away? No, so is it the fear of failure that's stopping you even trying and then you can tell yourself that you didn't really fail, cos you never really tried? I am not trying to be smart or pick at you, I'm just trying to get you to look at this situation realistically or else what's the point?

 

What's the fear of failure about? If you knew that if you failed or not it wasn't a representation of who you are as a person? Would that make you look at it differently? If you knew that the outcome isn't a definition of who you are, would that make you start approaching it differently with less fear? Because the truth is, the outcome does not define you. It's not a definition of who you are, your value, or your worth in this world.

 

Is your fear really about how the failure is seen by you? How it makes you feel about yourself? Or how you believe you will be seen by your workplace?

It's not the test that's the issue....it's how you relate to yourself....some belief that you have about yourself that this test is highlighting....does that make sense?

 

Why do you feel you will fail? If you have tried your best and done all that you can do, then if you do fail it, who cares! We all have failed something in our lives. It's not a definition of who we are. You are still just as valuable whether you fail a test or not.

 

But the other thing is....if you have all ready convinced yourself that you have failed.....guess what? You have! Why don't you shift that focus to....I will do my best and what ever happens, happens, I know that I did the best I could with everything I knew. I know that sounds like one of those touchy feeling type statements, but its a shift of perspective you need. Focus on what can go right, instead of everything that can go wrong.

 

You have all the resources within yourself to get through this test, you just need to get your fears out of the way, I know, I know easier said than done....but I at least hope that something that I have said helps