Ex-fiancee wants to be my Friend ?!

[askdan]

ADVICE NEEDED: My fiancee and I were together for 5 years. She broke up with me 3 months ago because we had too many fights. Now we are on speaking terms (she calls, e-mails, and chats) about once a week.

 

She says that she still has strong feelings for me, and that she is not fully healed from our breakup. She is still very hurt. However, she does NOT want to reconciliate, saying 'the damage is already done'. But she absolutely wants to be my friend after 3 months, which is weird.

 

This is extremely frustrating as I don't feel that I have mistreated this girl at all (she is 26, I am 29). Granted, I have said some pretty harsh words, but it was under anger and I have apologized since then. Does anyone has any positive opinions on this story? Any female advice would be greatly appreciated. Is there something I can do to win this special lady back? Do you have any idea on why she wants to maintain a friendship if she does not want to reconciliate? We were going to get married next year...What can I do to get her back?

[russia]

i am positive you need to read "his needs her needs"

 

not being flippant but it will tell you why you are where you are, and why she won't come back. and also some tips on whether it's possible to get back together.

[askdan]

Thanks. I looked it up on Amazon, but it talks about improving your marriage. It doesn't mention how to reconcile with your ex-fiancee...

 

Any other advice? I feel like there is no more hope.....

[russia]

don't let the marriage bit faze you.

 

it actually talks about a concept called a love bank, which is how you maintain a relationship, meeting each others needs and not just what you think the other party needs cos that's what you need.

 

and covers the reason why people divorce/break up