I feel that I'm being harrassed at work

[burbgirl]

For the past 6 months, this woman that I work with has been harassing me. I am also a woman. We are essentially on the same level, although our jobs are completely different. My job requires me to physically move about the office a lot, and I come into close proximity to her for several hours a day. This is unavoidable.

I hope this post isn't too long. She started by yelling at me and telling me that I was in her way, she doesn't like me, and if I'm so great why is "such and such" not the way it's supposed to be. She has called me an ###hole, screaming while she told me that I am a hag, that she can't understand how someone can stand to look at me for more than two minutes, and said my husband is probably sick (he was ill at the time) because he has to look at me all day. She is currently tormenting me by yelling "YAY" incessantly, at least five to ten times a minute. "Yay, I'm so happy I'm not miserable all day, yay, here comes John, yay, here comes Jane". I am sure she is doing this for me because other employees have approached me and told me that she said something to them about how it bothers me that she does this (It bothers everyone!). Before the "YAY", it was "oh poop". Like most normal people, I do have friends in the office, and some of them have said that she has approached them and asked them how they can like me, etc. I am not the first person she has done this to. She has called me a crybaby, and told me to go ahead and run to management. This is extremely stressful to me. I could go on and on about the remarks that are made between her and her co-worker that are obviously directed towards me, and backed up by my coworkers who have heard her say she does it to bother me. I have talked to management about this, and they say there is nothing that can be done, because she knows how to work the system. I have kept detailed, dated notes on all of her negative and harassing behavior towards me. This is totally humiliating, infuriating, and degrading for me to have to put up with this behavior. I completely ignore her, always...however, it is so upsetting to me I start to visibly tremble, but I never cry. It is virtually impossible for me to do my job when I am around her. What do you think?

[Protex]

Bring it up with a boss. If it's affecting how you work then it's his problem as well as yours.

 

As a worker you are entilted to a friendly working environment free of harassment.

 

 

*sorry Just read the post (lol)... Well, if the management cannot do anything is there some sort of union, or something similar to bring this up with.. If all else fails file a police charge?

[avman]

Hello burbgirl and welcome to eNotalone,

 

What management did you talk to? Did you contact human resources directly? Those are the people to contact. If everyone at work has refused to help you, then contact your states equal opportunity commission or contact an attorney specializing in employment law. They can tell you if you have a case based on the situation and the laws that apply to your area.

 

avman

[Geegnome]

voice activated tape recorders have a way of ending arguments quickly. They can be purchased for about 40 dollars. Most have a thumb button on and off switch so you can record the harassing behaviour. Get a digital one with date and time stamp for 20 dollars more. Make copies for evidence and keep the originals in a very safe place.

 

Office hardball it stinks but it works.

[funkygirl758]

I would give a few lawyers a call. If you have detailed notes, i would think that you would have a good chance of winning a harassment case. And the fact that the management hasn't done a thing about it. But get a lawyers advice about it.

[burbgirl]

Thank you to all who replied. I am extremely stressed about this matter. Today she compared me to this woman in the news who killed her three children and herself. She said people like us (myself and the murderer)should just put a gun to our own heads and kill ourselves, not other people. I think her aim is to make me snap, and being human, one of these days I will. I just acted as if she wasn't there, only pausing for a second while I digested being compared to a murderer and being told to shoot myself in the head. I am an adult, a normal member of society, I never thought that situations like this would be a part of my life, especially at work.

[Ash]

I take it your company has no formal conflict resolution process. Based on what your boss says, there must be something that can be done.

 

If he say's she knows how to "work the system", then ask him for a written copy of the policies that describe how this system works. If he is unable to point you in the right direction, then he is not being truthful. Unless there is a defined system, she can't be working it.

 

At this point, you could point out to him that should it go to a legal level outside the company, he could very well be on the hook too for letting it continue unchecked.

 

If there is a system, it should describe the steps you can take. Our policy where I work states:

 

In general, harassment is any conduct, comment, gesture, or contact that the person knows or ought reasonably to know is offensive or unwelcome which:

a) might reasonably be perceived as placing a condition on:

employment

promotion

work assignment

assessment

training

compensation

 

OR

 

b) creates a work or learning environment that is intimidating or uncomfortable

 

(You are welcome to the whole policy if you want, just to see what types of things are common in the workplace).

 

By this definition you are clearly being harassed. Your management should do something. If there is not a company policy, there must be a state, province (whatever, not sure where you live) that governs what you do and don't have to tolerate.

 

Don't let management take this one sitting down and looking the other way. This person is disruptive, unpleasant and disturbs you greatly. You DON'T have to tolerate it. I do realize that one potential outcome would result in you not being employed there, but in that case, you would have legal grounds for a good severance package.

 

I have no reason at all to imagine that what you are saying is not the truth, and I have a great suspicion that the reason management won't deal with this offencive person is that they are scared of her for some silly reason. Push them to deal with it if you can, or let them know if they won't, they're almost just as guilty. As management, it IS there job to handle these things, they are legally bound at some level to provide a comfortable working environment.

 

Push back, but in a proper way. And feel free to ask for a full copy of that policy if you'd like.

[burbgirl]

Thank you Ash for your helpful reply. It sounds like a good idea to get the policy myself. That way I know what I'm working with.

I have investigated the legality of this sort of behavior. Apparently, it's not illegal to be a world class jerk. There is something called intentional infliction of emotional distress (IIED), which sounds about right for this situation. Unfortunately, IIED is usually for employees who are being emotionally distressed by superiors, which is not the case here. Also, unless the inappropriate behavior is linked to some sort of gender or racial issue that will affect my employment, forget it.

[Ash]

Well, I still say you're being harassed. I don't mean to be contrary, but I figure you've been affected by this enough to ask for some advice on what to do. It's affecting your life in some negative way for you to have felt the need to do that.

 

You don't have to put up with it if you don't want to. I, for one, don't want to think you are not enjoying our job as much as you should because of her.

 

No, it's not illegal to be a world class jerk. But there degrees of what she's doing, and she's gone past jerk stage. It's directed at a very narrow segment of her coworkers - you. That's not right.

 

Just for further clarification, from our policy:

 

3.6 For the purpose of this policy, personal harassment is defined as:

 

Any pattern of unwanted or derogatory remarks, jokes, innuendoes, taunting about an individuals physical or mental handicap, age, martial and family status, religious beliefs, ancestry, or ethnic origin or other characteristics that are demeaning, offensive or intimidating.

 

So yes, definitely get your policy.

 

Also, are you dead sure it's not a gender (i.e. possibly sexually related) issue? Just because she is the same sex as you doesn't automatically preclude a gender targeted kind of abuse.

 

You don't have to work under such negative conditions. Not in this day and age.

[burbgirl]

I don't know. Now that I think about, she has done this to others before. Let me think...4 or 5 other women. No men. Maybe it is sexual. I don't know how though. She's a married woman, with a child. She has an extremely strong personality. I have been asking the people who are telling me about things she has said why they think she has targeted me. Many say that they think she is jealous, but I don't know what of. She called me a hag, which I assume means she thinks I'm ugly. You should see her, she looks like the spawn of Ronald McDonald and Pat from SNL. Maybe she's jealous because she's unattractive, I don't know. I hate to sound petty, but this lady has tortured me enough to warrant a little return nastiness. I have friends at work, but maybe in a different way than most people. I tend to not spend much time at all with them except maybe at lunch and outside of work. I have far to much WORK to do to be chatting all day. Anyhow, I think that she targets people that she feels don't have a good support system, which would be me, I guess. I'm generally alone and aside from a casual greeting, not talking to anyone. I think it makes me an easy target. I think that she thinks that I don't have any friends, which is one of her "themes" to torment me with. I don't know, it does hurt my feelings to think that someone would think me to be so isolated and disconnected that she could do this to me without social repurcussion.

[fantasia2004]

That is a shame and I am laughing at your description of your supervisor not you . So burbgirl don't take it personal.

 

8)

 

She is really a nutjob!

 

drag the DUMB bitch to court why don't you?

[Ingrid]

I agree you must record, record and record ... Then take the recording to the big boss, owner, not an intermediate one OR go to a good lawyer. Call around see if they take your case.

 

Keep us posted! Good luck!

[fantasia2004]

 

 

So yes, definitely get your policy.

 

Also, are you dead sure it's not a gender (i.e. possibly sexually related) issue? Just because she is the same sex as you doesn't automatically preclude a gender targeted kind of abuse.

 

You don't have to work under such negative conditions. Not in this day and age.

 

 

Taunting like back biting behind someone everytime they leave the room?