HELP, we have chemistry but she has a bf.

[KuteKev]

I'm paranoid that the girl im talking about will read this but nothing ventured nothing gained.

I started this training program at work and I met this girl there. Over the past two days (finished 2 days of training) we have been exchanging looks at eachother in the classes. We can't keep our eyes off eachother. So on the 2nd day i decided to pick up my jollies off the floor and ask her out for lunch knowing nothing about her anything. Luckily she said yes. I get the FEELING that she's interested in me from the looks she's been tossing me and vibe I get. However I can't picture it. She's simply georgous and I'm not the best looking guy. I don't exactly have a good track record with women. They fall into the 'decent' category and this girl is absolutely unbelievable/georgous/stunning. I'm 20 and she is 18. We walked to this italian eatery and we ordered 2 ceasar salads (to go) and while we were waiting for the salads we were gazing into eachother eyes at point blank range. I swear to god you could HEAR my pulse at this point. She's got unbelivable eyes btw. I didn't lose my cool or anything though.

Anyways, we got the salads and started walking back to work from our lunch break. I started probing into her life, asking her where she lives,etc,etc. I asked if 'she was seeing anyone' and she sais she is dating some guy on a laccrosse scholarship.

 

After that she has become fairly distant the whole day. No sexy looks, when I talked to her later on she sort of dismissed me. The vibe I got AFTER that small lunch ordeal & talk leads me to believe that she isn't interested.

 

Does an 18 year old girl go for more than a body/face How can I tell for sure? ?(I'm not ugly, however some MAY say she's out of my 'looks' category')

Also, I want to know if this 'lunch outting' was just accepted because she was hungry and I was as well so she thought 'what the hell, I'll go and get food with this guy' or did she accept because she likes ME and wanted to spend quality time with ME? How do I find out? Mind you, there was no dating pretense in the asking of the question when I asked her to lunch.

 

P.S. Sorry for the long post.

[MVP]

You answered your own question by mentioning that she abruptly lost interest in you towards the end.

 

Listen, girls who are REALLY interested don't waver or fluctuate their intentions. If she really wanted you, you'd know for sure just by gauging her actions. If she's interested, her ACTIONS are consistent; otherwise, they aren't.

 

Also:

 

1) you mentioned she's unbelievably gorgeous with the most spellbinding eyes EVER. Well, believe me, beautiful women know how mesmerizing they are and they use this to your advantage. If it's too good to be true, it usually isn't -- especially at the outset.

 

2) She has a boyfriend with a Laccrosse Scholarship. One, she ALREADY has a boyfriend, and two, he has a scholarship. Do you have a scholarship? Listen, women get into relationships with financial prospects in mind; if you can't compete with her boyfriend on an academic or financial level, then you can forget about a viable relationship with this girl.

 

3) You mentioned she lost interest after eating the salad you BOUGHT her.

 

 

Bottom Line: She's a FLIRT who had NO intentions of forging any kind of relationship with you. Most stunning women like to test themselves to see that they still "got it" just for sh$ts and giggles. She took advantage of an unassuming, average looking guy to get a FREE lunch out of.

 

Sorry. Remember -- her actions MUST be consistent before and after the meal.

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

Hey

 

Apart from what MVP has said, I'd like to emphasise the fact that if she has a bf, just stay away, as simple as that. You might damage things between her and her guy which could lead up to your own friendship with her being hurt. Alternatively, if you keep persuing her, it could land you a punch, or in some cases, punches to various parts of your body.

 

I know you like her heaps but it ain't healthy and if she'll be yours, she still will.

 

Heb

[KuteKev]

Sorry for the misunderstanding, but she paid her own way. I figure if I offered to pay for lunch it would definitely have the pretense of a date which was not was I was going for.

And as for her losing interest couldn't it be because I may have been coming on too strong and she either isn't used to that or she's just scared?

[MVP]

If she volunteered to pay for her own food, then it means she's not interested and didn't want to give you the impression that she was into you.

 

 

If she insists on paying for her meal, she definitively sees you as a friend or acquaintance -- there are no chances for a romantic bond to develop. I wish you mentioned that she paid for her meal in your initial post b/c that changes everything. In fact, by paying for her meal, she made it clear that she didn't want to be courted nor lead you on in any way. She's loyal to her boyfriend, and her actions, here, demonstrate that. So, kudos to her -- she's not the conniving type I thought she was.

 

Conversely, if she never reaches for her purse after having a meal, she is probably using you for food, goods, etc.

[KuteKev]

No no no. It's hard to explain the nuances of how an outting can go. I ordered my meal, she ordered the same, and than 'i' was the one that laid down the law telling the lady taking the orders that they were separate orders.

 

P.S. If she's NOT going to go out with me because she's currently got a bf and wants to stick with him is more of a turn on for me because it shows loyalty. However IF she breaks up with him and comes to me, than that means she could do it the next time she meets someone else 'better'. I'm in a catch 22.