when is it okay to break a no contact rule?

[Eric f]

i know this has prolly been asked before but anyways when is it okay to break a no contact rule??

 

 

My x broke up with me, "read other post by me to find out why" about a month ago, but she still wanted to stay in contact with me and do stuff.

but i said i couldnt do that cause it would probly end up hurting me in someway or give me the wrong message.

 

i really miss talking to her, being in a relationship with her is nice but i miss her as a friend just as much.

i do want her back but i do know i can't have her right now.

should i break what i said "to my self" or should i talk to her? or wait for her to contact me?

i am just lost so a little advice would help.

[avman]

Sticking with no contact is difficult. Unfortunately what you are asking is "Is it ok to break no contact if I miss her?"

 

The answer to this is no.

 

The whole point of no contact is

1. To get your ex to miss you

2. To let you heal and get over them if they don't

 

Breaking no contact because you miss your ex defeats the point.

 

Stay strong. Let her come to you.

[neva_black_n_white]

personally i dont like the n contact rule so im going to be a little biased, i mean i know its one of those things to me that seems that little bit too stubbourn,especially if your trying to make the person miss you whilst you move on, its almost enjoying their pain if they would like you back, i dont know i guess i dont like the analogy.

 

the thing is you opted for the no contact on the grounds that you dont want to become hurt, but it seems that moving away and not speaking at all is hurting at the same time, this has only been a month and im assuming she was a large part of your life thereforeeee a month will be such a short time to over come this break up, this is likely why you want to be around her, but to be around her even as a friend you will see those carachteristics that made you love her in the first place, the ones that make you ever so weak, the ones where your heart screams out to hold her and even though shes sat laughing right next to you, you just cant have her. you need to think about how much it is you can bare and what it is you want to gain from the no contact, for both of you to move on or what have you.

 

think about the benefits and the losses or recovering the contact and also not recovering the contact.

 

this is all your choice, there is no right or wrong time, its all upon your heart and mind.

 

kel

[water_baby]

i have to say i dont agree with the no contact rule. people no there partners (or should now them) better than most and i dont think the no contact rule works for everyone. i chose not to follow the "rules" and now i have my man and we are happier than ever.

[Eric f]

okay its not really that i miss her, its that i am afraid that well end up loseing contact with each other, i dont want it to be like how i lost conact with my last ex gf we were friends we just lost contact and i havnt talked to her in 5 years.

 

i love her and yes i wouldnt want to see her with another guy but i want her to be happy cause thats what really want.

 

i have been getting up set all this week because now i am starting to dream about her. is this normal? i dont remember my dreams offten but latly its all about her.

i just dont know if i want to either risk my friendship or a possible future relationship any advice?

[Buttterfly]

Well I broke the no contact rule. My bf of 4 yrs dictated a break 4 weeks ago because of the fights. The fights consisetd on him promisuing to live with me full time in the place that we rent together. AFter 1 year, turns out he lives at his mums and hasn't brought his belongings around, always having an excuse or promising next month, next month. I became very frustrated hence always asking hence himalways snapping hence him deciding break of 4 weeks, no contact, but he reassured me he still wanted me bla bla. met him twie, very loving he was, but told me we're back on break rules. Now after 1 week i texted him to set me free if he intends to split up, but he texted back to reassure me he's coming back and me to keep positive. WHat the hell is going on.... I can not live like this put on the shelf.. love him very much but my friends have always been telling me he has been controlling me from day 1 and is stringing me along.. SHuld i break the arrangement one more time and put him on the spot? if he loves me he would be considerate for my needs too, after 2 weeks of break. He has the decision somewhere inside himself he just hasnt brought himself to spell it out so why not putting him on the spot? I should be more inportant to him than to just be left to hang on there. What do you think?