So does this sound like its good to you??

[ravens_folly]

Wow, I never thought I'd feel this way. This is the best I have felt in almost two months since I broke up with my boyfriend. I made a big mess of things and he was so upset with me and I made his feel so bad, but once I finally realized that what went wrong in our relationship was me and because of my actions, I knew what I had to do.

 

Today I had the perfect opportunity.

I was there visiting my best friend (his sister) and I stayed for supper.

I was there, and I knew he was upset, same old thing, I didn't exist in his presense. There was an obvious effort there for him to pretend I wasn't there. So when his sister went out to do barn chores, I was just about to leave and i knew it was my chance so I had to apologize to him.

 

I sat down accross from him at the table. he said hi, i said Hi, can I talk to you for a minute. Yeah he said, he didn't look too happy. But then I opened up, and told him I was sorry for the way I acted, I had acted like an idiot. And I said You were right about everything. He said well I don't know if I was right about everything. I said well you were right about when you said it wasn't going to work out between us, because it wasn't with the way I was acting. I was being selfish. you were right too when you said I didn't understand about your situation like your time and money and that kind of thing, because I didn't. You tried to tell me but I wasn't listening. And I shouldn't have been all mad at you when you couldn't spend time with me, or go to the things I wanted you to do with me, that was stupid. I was being a pushy bitch. And I am sorry for those things and I don't want you to me mad at me+. and I want you to know I think you did the right thing.

And then I asked him if we could still be friends, and he said of course. And I asked him if I could call him sometimes. And he kind of thought about it, ,but then he kind of jokingly said, yeah as long as you don't get mad if I'm not home.

And I said, no I won't! I learned that lesson the hard way.

 

And then I was going out the door. and he was ahead of me, but then someone called and he answered the phone, but before I left he looked out the doorway to the kitchen where I was and gave me a smile.

 

Then I left.

 

And I feel so relieved!!! I know he isn't that mad at me now!! And there was one of those funny silences, where I knew he was thinking about it, and he looked as though he wanted to say something, but he was afraid. I could also see it in his face how much he missed me. But I could tell as I was saying it, he felt some relief. I think I said the right things to him, and just enough.

I know we aren't back together, but I feel as if he is giving me a second chance. And I know I can't repeat my mistakes. so I am going to use my calls wisely and not push myself on him. Let my presense be known. I have many excuses to be at his place without even bothering him, I have a lamb I need to get trained for my 4-H project, and I may show up whenever his sister comes home. I feel like I am getting another chance.

Even though we aren't back together, I feel its better this way, we can start all over again.

 

Thanks for listening!!!

[DragonGirl724]

awwww poor gal* i know how u feel u miss him & feel bad about what u did but u learned so it looks me to me onto the 2nd step to getting back together....1st was no contact & 2 is building a foundation to create new memories together. you seem to really understand what u did wrong & youre seeing things from both points of views (yours & his) which is very mature (im at that same stage & i want to talk to my ex about it, my link is the 2nd at the bottom of the page check it out plz.) i thnk things will slowly but surely work out in your favor best of luck hun! keepo your head up much props for appogizing & being a compassionate understandiing girl soon to be friend & possibly more to this lucky gent*

[ravens_folly]

Well, I got a phonecall from his sister yesterday to talk, and she asked if I talked to him cause she thought I took a long time in the house.

I said yes, and she said, well he was in a really good mood last night. He asked me if I wanted anything at the store.

And thats really rare for him to do. And for his sister to notice he was in a good mood is another thing too!!

 

So do you think its a good sign that he was in a good mood afterward??

I now have pretty good hope that I will be able to work it out with him sometime this summer.

 

He will be home with his parents this summer, just him and his parents. He will work a lot too, and he only has a few friends nearby, plus the ones he works with. And he won't be out there looking for anyone, cause he won't have time.

 

I think I might start looking pretty good very soon.

 

I think I'll give him a call in a month or so. and talk to him. I was thinking I would invite him to go to the Fireworks on July 1, since that was the first thing we ever did together last year.

I can try to "recreate".

 

 

 

What do you think?

[Hannibal]

Recreating is good, but its a dangerous game to play at the same time. I would suggest that you find out somehow what his feelings are as the day approachs because if he doesn't feel the same then if you try to recreat it could only re-affirm how his feelings have changed. At the same time if his feelings have come back then it would give him an extra nudge in your direction.

[Scout]

I'm sorry to go off topic, but I'm curious - what do you have to train the lamb to do? Lambs are so cute!

[Mix Maxster]

I will say ravens_folly that you sound exactly like me now lol. I recently had a similar talk with my ex, and not a moment too soon either. Turns out I said some really stupid things and she was intending on never talking to me again. I even said "i'm really happy and thankful that you didn't hang up on me!" to which she said "ya I was tempted to." and I told her so many things that she didn't HAVE to hear, but I said I guess to save my butt for all the right reasons though. I asked her if she started cutting up all my pictures with her to which she said "NO! I want to keep all of those" to which I was a bit surprised. She's been displaying an interest in how I'm doing and why it is that I looked different in a picture I sent her, she hinted that I lost weight and looked really good. Sorry for the rambling there lol, but ya the BEST advice I can give you. Is to do what I did, let go of them, you've said all you can and the only thing you can do is focus on yourself. Don't have yourself believe it's OVER completely, but know that everything is out of your control now and that time will tell. I'm happy to hear you have your head on straight and that you were able to talk to him and admit to anything you felt you did wrong. It takes a lot of guts and he was happy because of it. If your ex is anything like my ex, they're hoping they can believe what you're saying. You'll get your chance, so long as your actions speak for themselves. My ex said many times that she was frustrated that I'd finally look like I was moving on and then I'd say something stupid. It makes it all the more harder for her to trust me, but I think that now I've REALLY said everything I need to and it sounds to me like she's moving on. Once again enough about me. Continue to keep your head on straight, don't focus on getting him back because you may set yourself up for hurt, but know that there could be a chance and just be true to yourself now. I'm sure you already know all of this, but it sometimes helps to hear it from someone else.