How To Move Past Small Talk???

[56tysmd]

I have gone out with this girl two times and also she has recently said yes to me when I asked her to senior ball. Here is the problem... Whenever I see her (on dates or at school) we only are only able to talk small talk and it never lasts very long. Although the silence does not feel awkward with her, I want us to be able to talk like we are best friends. During breaks & lunch at school we do not hang around each other and my guess is because we don't have much to talk about. We also do not call each other very much at all, and when we do we get right to the point.

How do open her up to talk to me like she does with her friends? (by the way... shes not shy)

[Lone Dragon]

Find a common ground for discussion, such as movies, books, hobbies, sports that can get both of you interested. Often times when you do small talks, it can be she might think that you are not interested at all, thus she might as well act the same , in which will make you think that SHE is not interested.

 

Break the ice and reach for the sky, don't let your shyness drive her away.

[sweetharmony]

take things slowly. it's only been two dates and small talk is still necessary at this point. ask her about her friends, family, music, film, ask her what she thinks about what's going on with iraq, in thw world. small talk is going to be needed at first before the two of you can establish a bond of trust.

 

After a few more dates, then open up to her. first things first. tell her more about you. the only way to get her to open up, is if you open up first- so share.

 

tell her a story about your friends and family. that will make her feel more comfortable to open up to you. ask her about her family, ask her about her childhood- what did she want to be growing up? did she go to camp, etc...share silly stories. it might bring her closer to you. But remember, you must establish the bond first, but before that, small talk is a part of getting to know the other person to see whether or not you are compatible.

 

Just a suggestion.

 

 

this takes time. you can't expect to be best friends overnight.

[OmegaMan]

I feel your pain, smalltalks drives me mad.

 

Etienne