a long distant relationship...

[leleth]

hi!

 

i am a newbie and already posting

sorry about my english i am living in switzerland so maybe i am looking for the right words sometimes

 

i am having a long distant relationship. we live about 600 km apart and worst of all he lives in germany and i live in switzerland so things aren`st that easy cause thinking about a future togethter means we must decide where to live. and right now i am so tied up i can`t leave.

i am twenty a nurse trainee and i need to end my apprenticesip first can`t change the hospital or the country in between. so 3 more years to go and that makes me sad and crazy all stuff like that.

maybe he can come and work here but that is also more a gamble than a secure possibilitiy...

 

i really do love him. he means the world to me.

i have a past which isn`t that easy to handle. and he just unlocked a lot of doors in my inenr and let out lots of feelings i never ever even dared to think about

it was love at first sight when we met...

 

now it is just really hard i have to work shift and my working shedule does only include 2 free weekends and that`s really hard. cause one of the weekends i have to work the late shift on friday so there is not much time left for us...

 

now we haven`t seen each other for nearly three weeks when we meet again next week.

and i just miss him so much right now. i miss him and it really hurts that he is not there. i have all that pictures of him in my mind all the things i love so much about him.

going to sleep at night and waking up in the middle of the night again looking for him cause he`s not beside me thinking oh he just got up for a moment and waking up again looking for him and then i realize he just can`t be there. and all the feelinf this inner glowing and similing when i thought oh he will be back in a minute is all gone and it is just so lonely without him.

 

it seems to get harder everytime when he or i need to leave. spending the last hours cuddled up together. enjoying every moment. looking at him knowing you need to memorize this right now you don`t know when you`ll see him again. running my hand over the contours of his face every single line. feeling his skin. pressing my face against his shoulder breathing deep in to take his smell deep inside me. to take him with me.

kissing hinm and just loosing myself wanting to do everything to just have him with me every time.

and then the last moment when he has to walk out of the door. when i have to get into the train... holding his face looking into his eyes kissing away this tears while mine are running down mine face giving him one last kiss with is all wet with our tears all salty... and then he is gone and there is just silentness. emptiness. loneliness. and everywhere his image everywhere i can smell him. he is so present but i am still alone.

and i know he feels the same.

 

it is so hard. i know it sounds kind of crazy cause we have a relationship about three month now. but i know this is the man who makes me really lucky. the man i love. the man i want to live with. the one i want to wake up every morning beside. i want to share my life. i want him to be there when i come home from work i want to share all of my life with him.

and that`s the first time i ever consider to share my life with a man to actually think about living with somebody. the first time i am not kind of glad cause i need my room and my liberty and i can`t stand a man around me all the time.

 

i`ve been so glad when he picked me up from work or when i knew i would come home and he would be there.

 

 

sorry about me going on like this i just needed to say it one time

 

leleth

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

Hey leleth.

 

I gotta say I do know what it's like to be unable to sleep and miss someone so much, and my gf's like only 1.5 hours away! But during xmas holidays, I was away for 2 months and they were really hard, it was like I was half dead most the time.

 

I'm gonna ask you though, how long have you been like this and how'd you meet and stuff? I've been thinking a lot about these things lately coz I'm going to university next year and I might go interstate - that means me and my gf might end up being away from each other for 3-5 years.

 

I really don't know what to think or do. My heart says don't go there but my head says "hey, if it was meant 2 b, it'll still be ok. Plus, what's it going to be, your future or a girl that you're taking way too seriously when you still have the rest of your life ahead of you." What are your thoughts on this? Taking in mind that you've obviously gone the long distance way.

 

I personally don't see how they can work, this is 3-5 years of your life...won't you go crazy? won't you get insecure about what he's doing... or do you trust him that much? How often do you visit each other?

 

Sounds like you're not really asking a question in your post so I'll just assuming you want to vent and talk. Perhaps you should PM me sometime or add me on MSN whateva.

 

Yea me and my gf are kinda in a semi LDR anyway. She lives 1.5 hours away and we only get to see each other once a week if we're lucky - that's if we don't have major exams that week. We've been together for nearly a year and it's getting more and more serious.

 

It'd be interesting to hear about your thoughts and what you think your guy is like, that'd help me out with my thoughts too.

 

Hear from you sometime (prefably MSN)

Heb