How to discuss an issue with my girlfriend without her thinking she isn't good enough?

[buckchuck]

Okay, so something in my relationship is bothering me. I haven't said anything for a few days, but now I feel it is time to say something. However, my girlfriend at times tends to think that she isn't "good enough for me" and that she "isn't a good girlfriend" and we have broken up (briefily--honestly like 4 hours haha) because of it.

 

I have something planned out to say to her, and the way I say it does not attack her at all. It's something I need from her (basically, just more reassurance and more to feel like we are dating) but how do I tell her without her thinking she is a bad girlfriend or not good enough? I don't want to chase her off, but honestly, this is bothering me and it's time to say something.

 

I worded it like "I NEED something from you. I need to feel like we are dating. I need a little more reassurance from time to time.."

 

I never once said "you don't do this" or "you do this and i hate it"

 

Get what I'm saying? So, is there another way that I'm not thinking about to approach this conversation? I'm talking to her after work, and any input would be nice. Thanks guys.

[Honey Pumpkin]

That's really thoughtful - try to be specific about what you want as well, so she understands what you mean. What sort of reassurance do you want? Do you want her to initiate contact more? Tell you that she cares about you specifically? Touch you more in public as a couple?

 

I've found in the past with guys I'm dating, it helps if I'm clear about what I want; so if I want them to contact me/call me more often, I need to say that.

 

You sound thoughtful and it's good to air these issues so they can be addressed.

[buckchuck]

Maybe initiate contact more, just those little things that bf/gf do (random texts, phone calls, cute things) that make you feel really good about being with that person. She does them, sometimes, but the past few weeks I just feel like we haven't really COMMUNICATED like we usually do..but when we hang out and talk on the phone, everything is fine. It's just time to say something, and I hope she doesn't go running awway thinking she isn't good enough.