sweetgirl141 Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 I feel like my boyfriend and I dont spend enough time together. Sometimes we cant help it, but others we can. We both are servers (for the time being) and work almost every night. So most of the time we spend together is while we are working. That makes for no quality time. We both have Sundays off but he chooses to watch football. Today I asked him if he was going to watch football every Sunday and he replied "yes". He suggests me watching it with him and although I dont mind watching it every now and then, it certainly doesnt count for quality time. He doesnt seem to want to give up a couple Sundays watching football to get dinner and a movie, or something along those lines. Im about a year and a half away from finishing up my degree. A full-time DAY for both of us would probably make things better but it makes things so much more stressful. I want to spend more quality time with him but Im not sure how. Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 You have to communicate this to him. A relationship cannot grow if the two of you don't put forth the effort to nurture it and let it grow. I went through many periods in my relationship, where one evening a week was all we could get...and some times it was an evening and a day...we work opposite schedules...but the only way we lasted throughout the years was due to alot of sacrifice and a high level of commitment to each other and the relationship. It was a priority. If you aren't satisfied, you need to voice yourself and find a compromise with him. Maybe its every second Sunday, or maybe it's half a day, there needs to be a little compromise...and I don't think its alot to ask for. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Have you explained to him that you feel you need to spend more time together? The football doesn't last all day does it? Myabe you could go to the cinema after the football? I do think it is unfair though that he doesn't seem willing to budge on watching football every Sunday. Link to comment
sweetgirl141 Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 Have you explained to him that you feel you need to spend more time together? The football doesn't last all day does it? Myabe you could go to the cinema after the football? I do think it is unfair though that he doesn't seem willing to budge on watching football every Sunday. I think football does last all day. Atleast last Sunday games started at noon and were still going on at 10pm. I want to explain it to him, I just dont want to come off as needy, clingy, etc etc. We have been dating for about 6 months but I really like this guy and dont want to do anything to scare him off. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 What are normal Sundays like? Do you watch it with him most weeks? Link to comment
sweetgirl141 Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 What are normal Sundays like? Do you watch it with him most weeks? No. I just go home and do homework or clean or something. Link to comment
pumpkinmoon Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 No. I just go home and do homework or clean or something. So you live together? I was going to suggest going off and doing your own thing on Sunday's but that's irrelevent then. The only thing I think can actually be done then is to talk to him about it. Easier said that done I know. Does he communicate well with you? Link to comment
sweetgirl141 Posted September 23, 2009 Author Share Posted September 23, 2009 So you live together? I was going to suggest going off and doing your own thing on Sunday's but that's irrelevent then. The only thing I think can actually be done then is to talk to him about it. Easier said that done I know. Does he communicate well with you? No, we dont live together. We usually go out on Saturday nights and Ill stay with him. Then when he goes out to a sports bar or a friends house to watch the games, I leave and go home. And Sundays are our only days off together. Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I think football does last all day. Atleast last Sunday games started at noon and were still going on at 10pm. I want to explain it to him, I just dont want to come off as needy, clingy, etc etc. We have been dating for about 6 months but I really like this guy and dont want to do anything to scare him off. He needs to know, plain and simple. If it's been happening for a while, speak up and say "You know, its been a while since we've done anything quality together..do you think maybe this Sunday we could get together for a bit..." I'm all for voicing yourself. COmmunication needs to happen. Partners need to know the boundaries, what is acceptable, what isn't, what works, what doesn't. I think it also can say alot about a relationship in how they respond back to you speaking up and voicing a concern or issue. Explain it to him. Let him know you know that he enjoys football, but its also the only day of the week that you get together. Ask him if he maybe carve out some time maybe twice a month to spend time with you. It doesn't need to be the whole day, maybe an evening or two a month. That's not alot to ask for. Link to comment
loulee Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Yep compromise!! he had no problem telling you that he would be watching the footy every Sunday..Either he is selfish or he is willing to talk about it and reach a compromise. Perhaps every alternate weekend is his footy day. perhaps you need to be not so available on Saturday evenings. Your life should not revolve around him start getting out with the girls. You are accepting a pattern of living within this relationship that you are not entirely happy with..This can be such a simple thing to remedy..You mention that you do not want to scare him off.!?! You should never ever think this way. Speak your mind...you will grow resentful if you do not talk about this. IF he is a thoughtful boyfriend he will agree to a compromise without question considering the limited time you both have to spend quality time together. If he is unwilling to compromise perhaps it is time that you did not spend every Saturday evening sleeping with him and make other plans with some friends and go out and have fun. If you are always totally available to meet his needs and yours are not be met in return it should give you some indication of how he will always be...have a chat and see how you go and have a plan in mind of some of the things you would like to do together every second Sunday..There is a lot of living to do and football can be recorded the odd weekend that he misses out now cant it.?/ good luck Link to comment
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