Too little too late (socially)?

[DaXMan]

I'm a few weeks into my Senior year of college. My goal going into this year was to be social with EVERYBODY and try to make a bunch of new friends and people I can hang out with. This would be in part because:

 

Freshman year - My roommate situation was tough because my roommie was anti-social and wouldn't talk to anyone. Moreso, the people I hung out with, all on my floor, got into a Civil War of sorts. I wanted nothing to do with it and tried being the median. That didn't work; both sides assumed I was opposing them. The one kid I was pretty good friends with there transferred to another school.

Sophomore year - I still get along with a lot of the people I met that year, but we had a lot of different interests. We'll talk when we run into each other, but it's tough for us to hang out together because of all the differences. One positive is that I met my best friend at school during this time. My second best friend at school...also transferred.

Junior year - It hit me that I needed to expand a bit. My social network deteriorated. I had a couple of friends in different places, but the number of people I'd see really went down,

 

So far this year, I'm executing my plan pretty well. Unfortunately, the results haven't been the best. Over three years into college, it seems others have already closed up their social circles, and it's really tough to get in. People I meet seem to be cool when we're in-person, but that's where it ends. If I facebook wall post them (particularly girls), I get no response. When I call them up (particularly girls), they don't pick up. I've gotten to see a few guys I used to know more often this year, but it's still a gradual thing.

 

I feel I have solid social skills. I'm not afraid to talk to anyone (I'm a little shy at first, but once I warm up to them I'm set) and can discuss an array of topics. Keeping things light and having some humor is something else I try to do. In the end, I've been getting a lot of acquaintances, but not many new friends.

 

What do you guys advise? I'm in an extra-curricular activity that takes up a lot of my time and I get along well with the guys there. Other than that though, not a lot of success.

[Pepper3]

Start out with the guys in your extra-curricular activity. If you get along with them well when you're doing your activity, make some time to hang out outside of the activity. It will be up to you to invite them to something, but that would be a good start.

[DaXMan]

Start out with the guys in your extra-curricular activity. If you get along with them well when you're doing your activity, make some time to hang out outside of the activity. It will be up to you to invite them to something, but that would be a good start.

 

That's a good start. We get along pretty well and do a lot together already. I'm sure throughout the year there will be more and more to do. There's another group of people I've enjoyed hanging out with a couple times this year, but my friends in that group have been busy lately, so there hasn't been a lot of progress there lately.

[Pepper3]

That's good that you have a few people in mind already. Don't wait for opportunities to happen to hang out, though- initiate things when you can. Doesn't have to be activities for a whole group, you can hang out with one or two of the guys outside of the activity you do together.

 

Also, how do you know how busy the people from the other group are? Are you just assuming it? Maybe they're doing things that you'd be interested in doing too, or are having social gatherings together that you can be invited to. It's hard to put yourself out on the line, but you have to do it to branch out.

 

With the girls, they probably just don't know you enough to feel any reason to answer your calls or facebook. Try to develop more of a relationship with them in real life, like in class, or on campus, when you see them, chat them up. Help them remember you next time they see you.

[DaXMan]

While I'm talking to more people, the obstacle now is that I'm getting a lot of "maybe's." I ask a guy I know if he and his friends (who I know, some are girls) wanted to play a little beer pong at my place..."maybe." I am talking to a girl and suggest we hang out..."maybe."

 

The key is to turn these maybe's into yes's!