Jealousy/depression in a friendship

[richie_nut]

My best friend who I live with is really getting on my nerves. He's bagged every single thing I've tried to do for myself this year after I've been through a really horrible time. Last night I was leaping round the house absolutely excited because I'm going to Europe in November with my dad, and all he could say was "Great. Cool" in this deadpan tone. Five minutes later on Facebook he had written, "I have one thing to say...SPOILT!!!"

 

I dunno what the hell's going on, we used to be so so sooo close. He admitted last time he was drunk that he's slightly depressed and, since I'm going through that myself, I can see that a mile off but he won't talk about it when he's sober and seems to just criticise everything I'm doing - I've joined Jenny Craig in an effort to lose weight, he says it's a waste of money. I'm going to Britney Spears in November, he rolls his eyes and says it's pointless.

 

I feel like screaming at him that if my life is such a waste of space then why didn't he let me just kill myself 6 months ago instead of saving me?! Is this just run of the mill jealousy or what?! Arghh really need some advice so I don't go nuts at him when I see him today.

[agent1607307371]

Just stop sharing cool things with him, then he can't get you down with his reaction.

 

 

And try to talk to him about his depression and maybe seeking some help.

[loulee]

I would tell him point blank that he is filling your life with pessimism and negativity. Let him know that you cannot afford to be with someone like this all the time and that friends should have a positive impact on your life and share in both your disappointments and achievements. you could also ask him what you can do that perhaps you arent that would help him have a far more positive outlook. let him know your friendship means a lot but lately you are always questioning why it brings you down. I would also use that old saying if you cant say anything nice dont say anything at all.

You have to decide if he continues to behave this way if YOU really need to have someone negative and resentful in your life. You also control HOW often you see him as this is a choice. Allow him the grace to see and change his behavour towards you....your friendship, and always be mindful that you are considering HIS feelings also. If he values you he will step up.. friends would NEVER post negative things online about another friend, friends are loyal to a tee..perhaps you are finding the real value of this friendship as you are growing and making such positive changes to your life whilst he is not..any person that continually affects your life in a very negative way is often one less person that you need in your life..surround yourself with positive people as much as you can...talk to him see how it goes..perhaps you are simply outgrowing him....good luck

[richie_nut]

Thanks guys, arghh it's so hard he's my very best friend in the whole world! He sent me a message on Facebook (even though he was right downstairs lol) and basically asked why I didn't get that it was a joke and that hopefully I'll get over it soon. So I spilled my guts over an email and he seemed completely shocked. Wrote back this defensive thing about not being negative, just having a "personal opinion" on things. He doesn't seem to get that a personal opinion, if reinforced enough, will actually make me think twice about what I'm doing!

 

Then he left the house as I was writing a reply and I haven't seen him since, that was about 4 hours ago. He says all he's ever done is try to help me and he admitted to being jealous about me going to Europe. But a joke shouldn't hurt that much, right? I probably won't see him again for the rest of the night but I feel I need to, to get this out in person. Fingers kinda crossed that I do see him.