Fed up with feeling fed up

[susie198]

Hi

 

I just wanted to vent really. My ex broke up with me two and a half weeks ago. It was a complete surprise and came on the heels of us having a lovely three month period together. We were together just shy of two years. We'd had rocky times but lately, things had been much better. It was a pretty intense and romantic relationship, lots of passion and lots of fun. But we're different cultures and that was always a bug bear for him.

 

He'd broken up with me twice before for the cultural reason but he always missed me and ended up coming back. This time, he didn't specifically break up for the cultural reason, he said he wanted space, thought he was done, but needed time to think - he felt he could not be himself with me (this is him harking to the cultural issue).

 

Of course, I panicked and did all the wrong things for the first week. After that I backed off and decided to accept it was over. He said to me that he'd had doubts but that my behaviour on the break up confirmed his decision to split. I think that's just him being manipulative and not wanting to take responsibility for the split as what I did was basically a few texts and phone calls to check with him to see if he was sure about what he wanted. Nothing major. No psycho stuff.

 

Anyway, I've accepted its over. I don't want to be in a relationship which has so little stability. He always made me feel that i was being discriminated against. That if I did the slightest thing wrong, I'd get dumped because obviously a woman of his culture wouldn't have done such a thing. I ended up with little confidence and now know it was right for me to get out.

 

So given that I'm not altogether unhappy with his decision to end it, why am I so fed up? You'd think I'd be happy, jumping for joy in fact, that I have my freedom to be who I want and no constantly fearing the axe is gonna fall if I look at him the wrong way. I'm not crying, I'm not moping particularly, I'm just fed up. And I'm fed up of being fed up lol.

 

I'm on day 3 of NC.

 

any ideas? Do I just need a new man to cheer me up? I've a date lined up for this weekend and one for next weekend and i've restarted a major project which I'd shelved a few years ago, but somehow, there's no glow to all of this new start.

 

Thanks in advance, for our input.

 

Susie

[offplanet]

No matter how reasonable and philosophical one can be about being dumped, I think it's a basic human thing to feel some hurt at being rejected for whatever reason. It can still be mostly 'all good'.I guess you have some mixed feelings. Thankfully youre not heartbroken, and should be able to move on quickly. I hope so.

[Lonewing]

One day at a time, it takes time, and only time, to get back to where you were in life once more. You're running through the wooded darkside of your life right now, let the midnight oil burn as you glide through the midnight air...my old loves have all died, but they rekindle now and then, and it is lovely!