Messy and hate not knowing...

[shadowphax]

I posted a while back straight after my ex and I broke up. A week or so later we started seeing each other, it was a bit on and off he said he needed time out but loved me and wanted me, just space as well. Stupidly I thought it would improve with time and it didn't. He swore blind he loved me but he was so hot and cold I just said its all or nothing and so enough is enough.

 

So that was on a Tuesday, and on Sunday a friend rang me and I found out he was basically saying to her in a conversation, about how his Dad is incredibly ill, as is he, and that he just wants a casual relationship and nothing serious. From knowing him two years it seems he was hinting at whether or not would my friend be interested. I can't help thinking how can you love somebody and do that? Thing is I don't think it was a case of 'he didn't love me' either.

 

I was abused when I was younger and it was in court and a big part of our relationship that was 2 years long. I can't help but think it is that that caused us to fall apart, and then I blame myself for it. In truth he didn't really support me, I tried to OD twice when we were together and he didn't know. It was like he was resentful how things weren't better after court. I just don't get why he would act the way he has when he knows the state my head is in. He must be so incredibly immature to be like this.

 

The reason I feel rubbish right now is I was sifting out some rubbish and found a card he wrote to me literally 2mo's ago. All soppy with a poem and how he knew it was the real thing etc. Its like damn maybe I've really screwed up the only chance I had to be happy

 

Damn. Sorry for the vent.

[DN]

his Dad is incredibly ill, as is he

Is it true that he and his Dad are ill?

[shadowphax]

Is it true that he and his Dad are ill?

 

His Dad is ill, but getting better. He told my friend his Dad is dying (not true, he is genuinely getting better), and in regard to his own health, he has low blood pressure and can pass out if he doesn't eat for ages then has a huge meal, or does loads of exercise on an empty stomach, and doctors have offered him medication but he refused it. He also refuses to take any vitamin supplements which doctors also believe will help. From what I read he is blowing things out of proportion to get a sympathy vote in the hope it will get a girl into the back of his car for you know what.

[DN]

 

 

I read this previous thread about this guy and it seems he was very supportive while you went through the court case and you admitted yourself that you treated him badly. Where was the support for him when he needed it - all you seem to want to do is minimise his feelings about his father and himself. He didn't appear to do that to you when you needed him most.

[shadowphax]

 

I read this previous thread about this guy and it seems he was very supportive while you went through the court case and you admitted yourself that you treated him badly. Where was the support for him when he needed it - all you seem to want to do is minimise his feelings about his father and himself. He didn't appear to do that to you when you needed him most.

 

This is it though, I don't think I saw him for who he was at that point because I was too upset that we'd broke up. Its only when I write things down over time that I've started to see things so differently.

 

Re court, he made a statement, but he never asked how I felt or if I was OK. I couldn't talk to him about how I felt because he didn't want to know. If he was so supportive of me I don't see why I would have tried to OD twice when I was with him. He doesn't even know about that. Some people would say typical man, but if I didn't feel like intercourse he'd get really moody with me, he wouldn't listen when I said I had images in my head and I just couldn't.

 

I think there is right and wrong on both sides, but at the end of the day from what someone said to me today who doesnt know him as well as I thought I did, I don't see why they would feel he was playing the circumstances. I wouldn't ever doubt anybody over things like that, but if he is so supportive why would he send my Mum a text saying I lied about the court case? He was diagnosed with his problem last year and I have been there when he had numerous ECG's and the fainting simulated. The last few weeks I was there on his beck and call, he wanted to see me, I went, he didn't, I didn't. I wanted to meet up and he said no, we didn't. But he was messing me around.

 

I'm sorry but I really don't need telling I'm a bad person the reason I'm in such a bad place is because I've always felt like that. Like now I'm sat here thinking 'what if' all over again. At the end of the day I couldn't even tell him how I felt or if I was having a bad day, because even in the beginning he had something making his day worse, like it was a competition. He finished with me 7 weeks ago, he was the one who said those words. I'm not here for him to know he can have if he can't have anything better. People say I'm better than that. I did all I felt I could for him, even then I said 'text or ring me if you need to talk, you know i know how awful it is to be trapped inside your own mind, I don't mind if you want to talk'. I can't see an excuse for spreading rubbish about me lying in court when the man pleaded guilty. The point is he lied about having spoken to this friend of mine and about what he spoke about, that proved to me that there were likely to be more things he lied about. If he was upfront about it fine, but I told him that I would find it hard to communicate as much when other girls got involved but he said he wanted me as a friend over that.