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I'm a male in my late 40's. I'm gay but not out. I'm also a single dad. My friend is in his early 20's. I think he's gay but not out. We met at college last year, became good friends and have stayed in touch.


I'm definitely attracted to him and I think he's attracted to me as well, but I don't think he knows that I'm gay. I want to pursue this beyond friendship but I don't want to freak him out?


Please help!

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You can't expect more from someone else than you are willing to give. You need to take ownership of your sexuality whether or not he does the same. Maybe in doing so, you will provide him with some safety and modeling for doing the same with his life (if indeed he is also gay). But don't do the "I only have feelings for you if you have feelings for me" thing....then you're both in a deadlock. You are who you are whether or not he's interested.

At 40 years old, it's time to own who are and go for what you want.

Best wishes.

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